Everything Jamaican

Tweet Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy’s homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence ..* 1. Hotel – I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody. 2. Dictate – My girfriend say my dictate good. 3. Catacomb – I saw Don King at da fight [...]

Tweet Big Bwoy was inna composition class an di teacher ask ‘im fi mek a sentence wid’ defence, defeat and detail’. Guess wha Big Bwoy say? ‘De dawg jump over de fence an de feet go before de tail’

Tweet One morning Big Bwoy did late fi school so ‘im ride ‘im father donkey, ‘Gee Gee’, go a school. Him did in such a hurry dat him nevah tie di donkey propaly. Well, guess wha happen? In di midst a spelling class, Gee Gee get loose. Big Bwoy frighten sotill wen him look out [...]

Tweet Group of men waiting outside ‘new inventions’ meeting room before it starts. American, Englishman, and Jamaican. A bleeper noise is heard, and the american looks at his shoulder, presses it and looks at the other two and says ‘ its my bleeper’, The englishman raises the palm of his hand to his face and [...]

Tweet A Jamaican opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police(American)arrived at the scene, the Jamaican was complaining bitterly about thedamage to his precious BMW. “Awfissa, look wah dem do to mi Bimmah!”, he whined. “You Jamaicans are so materialistic [...]

Tweet Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to Jamaica because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in New Kingston. The first day, he [...]

Tweet I was trying to find my dressmaker, and asked someone on the street for directions. This is what she told me: “Tek a red and white mini-bus to Parade, den walk til yu reach de patty stand on Bruk-Down carner. Hask de gentleman deh how yu fi reach de lady wha mek de high [...]

Tweet The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists – An American man, a English Man and a Jamaican man. For the final test, the CIA agents took the American man to a large metal door and handed him a [...]