Hey all,

Just got back from Jamaica, loved everything about it!

I've been hearing a LOT about men in Jamaica, using women for money and gifts and immigration and all that....I met a guy there and we've been talking almost every day since I got back. A bunch of friends have been warning me about it....and a Jamaican woman I work with is adamant that he is using me...but it doesn't seem that way to me, he seems pretty straightforward and honest and he brought me to meet some friends and family of his...told me right away about his kids and their mothers... but friends have said that because I paid for drinks and things like that while with him that he was using me and will continue to do so if I continue to talk to him. Honestly, I paid for the drinks because I had the money and I knew he didn't make much....and he spent an entire day with me where his family and friends played host and supplied drinks and a meal...

I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone has the other side of the story...
It would be great to hear something nice about Jamaican men....all I've heard is the sex-crazed, dishonest, user talk.

Thanks!

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Welcome Tsavo. Glad you loved Jamaica. When did you get back?

My only advice is to give it time......lots and lots of time. if the dude is using you, it'll surface on its own. It may not happen right away but if he plans on using, it'll be obvious.

Where did you visit in Jamaica??

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You can search some of the stories on here already if you like, as well.

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Life's just a crazy ride on a run away train
You can't go back for what you've missed
So make it count, hold on tight find a way to make it right
You only get one trip
So make it good, make it last 'cause it all flies by so fast
You only get one trip

i will not say with 100% certainty! Nothing is 100%

but i will say the odds are against you ...BIG TIME! I would say that you are being played! The fact that you have met his family and freinds ....(in such a short time knowing you) is a big huge sign that something is not right!

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LOL co-sign Spice

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Just because you meet "the family" doesn't mean a thang because, as some of us know, the family can be in on it!

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And they ALL introduce you to family whether you are friends or more! I've met plenty Jamaican families of people I never dated!

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LOL...agreed!! Meeting the family is a great way to convince unaware ladies they are for real when their not.

I once met a guy who swore he was not like the rest...and I was upfront about what I would not tolerate. And when we got there..he just suddenly had no money and basically backed me into a corner where I had no choice but to pay for things. The whole time I was paying for everything because I had no choice at that point, he was ranting about wanting a good women, and not being in it for money. I never even stayed in contact..he called a few times after I told him to get lost asking for money...hehe I handed the phone to Kristi to put him in his place.

Words and actions mean nothing...time is the best test!! Like others have mentioned....things will pop up over time if you watch for them. Infactuation wears off ...and if your not giving him things and thats what he wants, chances are he will eventually back off in persuit of someone who will give him whathe wants.

Biggest piece of advice...listen to your instincts. If something seems off..it is!!

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As a Jamaican man I can say this....
Jamaica like many other countries is filled with all sorts; Good, Bad and everything in-between.
Disregard the nationality of the man and pay more attention to the actual circumstances: You are embarking (I presume) on a relationship with a man of a different culture who happens to live in a different country; i.e: Long Distance Relationship.

That simply means that you consider such parameters as cost (plane fare and 'phone bills) to keep in touch, and the anticipated stress of developing a relationship with someone who you will not be able to see and touch as often as you would like. In many such cases, Trust becomes an over-bearing factor.
Ignore the stigma of "He is a Jamaican men so therefore..." from many who have been less fortunate, and just deal with the situation as you would any other relationship. Misery loves company.
Just don't offer or agree to buy, pay for nor send anything for anyone back there, except the love from your heart. Jamaican men are not easily impressed so dont try to buy him with clothes, jewelery and clothes. If you do, you will only get what you pay for.

In the meantime, keep your mind open, you heart shielded and your purse and knees closed.

May you find true love and happiness.

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"In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)

And I suppose you have never met the families of any other dates from other countries?

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"In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)

I agree. Welcome to ETJ. Glad to hear you had fun in Jamaica. Where did you go/visit?.

I'm an honest man.......I only want you to support my lavish lifestyle for 4-6 years untill my "Shugga-momma" Desrine files for me to come live in the ASU

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One World, One People

The opinions expressed by Samba are not the official opinions of ETJ or its owners.

It's funny to me, that women go on vacation to find love. I mean, to each his/her own...but I was initially attracted to visiting Jamaica because of my love for reggae and wanting to experience a real Jamaican Reggae concert.

The last thing I need is a dude hanging all over me, I'm on vacation dagnammit. LOL. But seriously, my whole purpose is to RELAX, BREATHE, and PARTAAAAY... I'm not looking for love, just looking for a good time

LOL...well hopefully you will end up in Jamaica the same time as me sometime Raggamuffin....sounds like you would be fun!!

I've learned to keep all men on the same pedastal...Canadian, American, Jamaican or any other. Regardless of where their from..they are all men and I'm not gonna treat anyone special. When it comes to relationships I have my standard and regardless of where your from..if you can't live up to that and treat me right...why would I be with you? Any man who thinks where he's from makes him special enough for me to put up with alot of BS...is very very wrong!!

However it did take me two trips to Jamaica to learn this!! LOL

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