New Guide to Politically Correct Terminology - Jamaica Talk

Urban_DK · #1 (**permalink**) 08-05-2005, 10:35 AM

. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK". She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER". She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY". She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE". She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND". She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD".. She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY". She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS". She is "SURGICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you. She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP". She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "HUGE HOOTERS". She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER". She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

B. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT". He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER". He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME". He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING". He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER". He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK". He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS". He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG". He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT". He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY". He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's his "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Jelakins · #2 (**permalink**) 08-05-2005, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by urbandksound

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER". He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN

Love dat!!!!!

Urban_DK · #3 (**permalink**) 08-05-2005, 10:41 AM

. . . HEY!

Jelakins · #4 (**permalink**) 08-05-2005, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by urbandksound

. . . HEY!

Sorry babes - but more time its true!

Besides - you're behind the decks - you probably OVERLY CAUCASIAN fi real!!!

Urban_DK · #5 (**permalink**) 08-05-2005, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jelakins

Sorry babes - but more time its true!

Besides - you're behind the decks - you probably OVERLY CAUCASIAN fi real!!!

LOL! Actually I get some looks sometimes being one of the only caucasians around here knows any of the current reggae dances. I'm not saying i'm a great dancer but I know how to pay attention and i'm not afraid to let loose and try.

I honestly feel that the big problem with white guys is the inability to just relax. Dancing is just about letting go and letting the music do what it does to you. I don't know why this could get turned on or off depending on the culture around you--I'm not convinced it's totally a 'race' thing, but more environment. I really don't know. As a dj though, I'm happiest when playing for a crowd of people who will express their appreciation of the music I'm playing. If a guy makes the effort to turn around, walk 6 feet to find a wall to slap to tell me he loves the record I just dropped... well, the feeling is better than sex. And white guys don't do that. (I mean the slapping...not the sex!)

Whoa.. i'm on a tangent!

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