Jamaica Online at Everything Jamaican!
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Jamaica Online at Everything Jamaican! |
06-26-2005, 12:16 PM
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jokey jokes
A Jealous Husband
A jealous husband hires a private detective to follow his wife and check on her movements. The husband explains to the P.I., that he wanted more than just a written report, he wanted a video of his wife's activities. A week later, the detective returns with the evidence. They sit down together, and begin to watch the action. Although the quality has much to be desired, the husband sees his wife meeting another man! He watches as they frolic and laugh at the park. He's mesmerized as they enjoy themselves at an outdoor cafe and then dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. By the end of the video, he witnesses this stranger and his wife participating in over a dozen different activities, and all with utter glee. "I just can't believe this," the distraught husband says. "What's not to believe" says the P.I.. It's all right here on the video!" The husband replies, "I never knew that my wife could be so much fun!" 
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Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!    
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06-26-2005, 12:18 PM
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Re: jokey jokes
Are you in Love, in Lust or Married
# LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. # LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. # MARRIAGE - When you lose each other in a crowded room. # LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." # LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." # MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? # LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. # LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot. # MARRIAGE - When you argue over money. # LOVE - When you share everything you own. # LUST - When you steal everything they own. # MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. # LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi." # LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room. # MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to complain. # LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. # LUST - When all you write is your phone number. # MARRIAGE - When all you write are checks. # LOVE - When your proud to be seen in public with your partner. # LUST - When you only see each other naked. # MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake. # LOVE - When nobody else matters. # LUST - When nobody else knows. # MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. # LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. # LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. # MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio. # LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about. # LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about. # MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought. # LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. # LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. # MARRIAGE - What's a climax?
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Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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06-26-2005, 12:21 PM
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Re: jokey jokes
The Power of a Women
There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down the side of a burning building. There were ten men and one woman. They all decided that one person should let go, because if not, the rope would surely break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the only woman shared her thoughts. She says, she would give up her life to save the others. She continues by saying, "Throughout history, women were accustomed to giving up things for their husbands, their children, and men in general, while receiving nothing in return". When she had finished speaking, all the men applauded. Never under-estimate the power of a Woman
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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06-26-2005, 12:22 PM
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Re: jokey jokes
TOP 14 THINGS P.M.S. STANDS FOR
Pass My Shotgun Psychotic Mood Shift Perpetual Munching Spree Puffy Mid-Section People Make Me Sick Provide Me with Sweets Pardon My Sobbing Pimples May Surface Pass My Sweatpants Pissy Mood Syndrome Plainly; Men Suck Pack My Stuff Permanent Menstrual Syndrome Perpetual Mood Swing
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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06-26-2005, 12:24 PM
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Re: jokey jokes
Training Classes For Woman
Women think they already know everything, but wait... training courses are now available for women on the following subjects: 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits 4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game 5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too 6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His 7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First 8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking 9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging 10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire 11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up 12. Introduction to Parking (hahahahahahaha) 13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space 14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat 15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter 16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption 17. Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People 18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully 19. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To 20. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You've Worn Before
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Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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06-26-2005, 12:26 PM
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Re: jokey jokes
Fact or Fiction
Women don't make fools of men, most of them are the do-it-yourself types. A woman's work that is never done, it's the stuff she asked her husband to do. Go for younger men. You might as well...they never mature anyway. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: You're sick of him. If you want a nice man, go for a bald one... they try harder. Husbands are like children... they're fine if they're someone else's. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too. Men's brains are like the prison system... not enough cells per man. There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men... DON'T and STOP (but not used together). There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: Strong, caring, loving... they'd be wrong but you could still use them!
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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06-27-2005, 06:12 AM
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Re: jokey jokes
Quote:
Hmmmmmmmmmm he he he 
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 Thought for the day: Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over QUOTE OF THE WEEK: They would not give us 40 acres and a mule, now we have 52 states and the white house! Yes we can!
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07-01-2005, 03:54 AM
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Re: jokey jokes
Top Ten Signs Your Spouse May Be Having an On-Line Affair
10. Lately she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand. 5. She makes sarcastic remarks about your "software". 4. Lipstick on the mouse. 3. During sex, she screams "A colon backslash enter insert!" 2. The fax file is filled with pictures of someone's butt. 1. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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07-01-2005, 03:56 AM
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Re: jokey jokes
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can both smell it but can't eat it. How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your d***. What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling. dirty joke material >>> How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money. What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig? A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of semen. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? She is the one who can eat the last donut! What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom? A pick pocket snatches watches.
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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07-01-2005, 04:04 AM
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Re: jokey jokes
Ben & Jerry's New Presidential (Clinton) Flavors
Slick Willie Double Nut Joy Subpoenas 'n' Cream Impeach-Mint Candy Pants Chocolate Chip Doughboy Chilly Hillbilly Draft-Dodging Pot-Smoking Intern-Nailing Raspberry Swirl Vanilla Pantsachio Subpoena Colada Biscuits 'n' Gravy Horny Bubba Crunch Arkansas Peach Subpoena Butter Cup Peppermint Fattie Captain Cream Tubby Bubba Hillary Chiller Fundraising Coffee Oval Office Surprise Arkansas Smoothie Hyperactive Nuts Scandalberry
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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07-01-2005, 05:39 AM
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Re: jokey jokes
Quote:
 Thats a good ONE....
__________________
Thought for the day: Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over QUOTE OF THE WEEK: They would not give us 40 acres and a mule, now we have 52 states and the white house! Yes we can!
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07-01-2005, 04:55 PM
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Re: jokey jokes
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07-01-2005, 05:06 PM
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Re: jokey jokes
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07-06-2005, 12:42 AM
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Re: jokey jokes
Little Johnny and his father went into a local drug store to pick up a prescription. While in the store Little Johnny looked around and came upon a rather large display for condoms. He looked at all the brightly colored packages and the different types and the different quantities. He went to his father and asked, "Daddy, what are these condoms?"
His father stuttered, and said, "They are for protection from diseases when a man and a woman make love." Little Johnny contemplated the concept for a few moments and then asked, "Then, why do these come in a package of three?" His father coyly answered, "Those are for young men in high school. One for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday afternoon. "UH-HUH" said Little Johnny, "Then why are these in packages of six?" His father smirked, "Those are for young men in college. There are two for Friday night, two for Saturday night and two for Sunday afternoon." "WOW" said Little Johnny in amazement, then he asked, "Why are these packaged a dozen at a time?" "Those, my son are for married men. One for January, one for February......" his father answered.
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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07-06-2005, 12:44 AM
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Re: jokey jokes
A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"
The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down. As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?" The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me." The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."
__________________
Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!
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