jokey jokes - Page 5 - Jamaica Talk

puppetmaster · #61 (**permalink**) 09-28-2005, 01:53 PM

SOLDIERS HAVING FUN IN IRAQ, THIS IS HOW IT IS WINDY ?

http://www.clublaugh.com/item.php?id=1076&sort=title

puppetmaster · #62 (**permalink**) 09-28-2005, 01:55 PM

WASSUP !!

http://www.clublaugh.com/item.php?id=1248&sort=title

puppetmaster · #63 (**permalink**) 09-28-2005, 01:56 PM

MASSIVE WEDGIE

http://www.clublaugh.com/item.php?id=1203&sort=title

puppetmaster · #64 (**permalink**) 09-28-2005, 01:59 PM

HAIRCUT JERK

http://www.clublaugh.com/item.php?id=998&sort=title

dudley one · #65 (**permalink**) 10-04-2005, 02:03 AM

http://www.jokaroo.com/extremevideos/pinface.html

only ,,,,,,,

dudley one · #66 (**permalink**) 10-04-2005, 01:52 PM

http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/d...lowmotion.html

rotflmao.

dudley one · #67 (**permalink**) 10-04-2005, 01:56 PM

a blonde's revenge

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

Jelakins · #68 (**permalink**) 10-05-2005, 08:29 PM

http://www.linkdumper.com/video/lazy-lover/

I think I may well market these...... brilliant idea!!!

dudley one · #69 (**permalink**) 10-06-2005, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jelakins

http://www.linkdumper.com/video/lazy-lover/

I think I may well market these...... brilliant idea!!!

but jel babes
i thought we covered all those positions already ? lol

Jelakins · #70 (**permalink**) 10-10-2005, 10:03 AM

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past, looks up, and says to the monkey "Hey, what're you doing?"

The monkey replies, "Smokin' a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up the tree, sits next to the monkey, and they smoke a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and he's going to the river to get a drink.

The lizard climbs down the tree and staggers over to the river to get a drink of water, but he is so stoned, he leans over too far and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this, swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side. Then he asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting up in a tree with a monkey smoking pot, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out, and wanders off into the jungle. He finds the tree where the monkey is sitting finishing up a joint.

The crocodile yells up to the monkey and says "Hey!"

The monkey looks down and says,

SHYYYTTTTTTT........Dude! How much water did you drink?!"

dudley one · #71 (**permalink**) 10-11-2005, 01:14 AM

war of the worlds part 2 in 30 seconds, lol.

http://www.jokaroo.com/ecards/funny/...dsbunnies.html

windypace · #72 (**permalink**) 10-12-2005, 03:51 AM

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in
the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . .

I'm sorry. What was the question?

dudley one · #73 (**permalink**) 10-12-2005, 01:15 PM

Two eskimos, a big one and a little one, go to their local Alaskan convent with a question. The big one nudges the little one and says, "Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door."

The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big eskimo nudges the little one and says, "Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question."

The little eskimo timidly says, "May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?"

The Mother Superior answers, "There are no midget nuns living here."

The big eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, "Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question."

The little eskimo asks in a quavering voice, "Well. Are there any midget nuns in Alaska?"

The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, "Why no, I don't believe so."

With this the big eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. "See", he says to the little eskimo, "I told you you fu***d a penguin!"

dudley one · #74 (**permalink**) 10-17-2005, 07:32 AM

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the
gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.

She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and
decided to send a reply note to the man.

The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and
conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a
Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the
bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in
return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him
to return this to the woman.

It read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a
Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage.
There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even
for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off.

Just send the bottle back."

dudley one · #75 (**permalink**) 10-17-2005, 07:49 AM

Monkey and Lion In The Zoo

A Jamaican living in the States was down on his luck. Out of work and broke, he started going around to various companies in the city begging for a job, any job. Finally he got to the zoo. The zookeeper looked stressed out.

"The monkey escaped last night", the zoo-keeper said, "if you are willing to put on a monkey suit and stand in the monkey's cage for a couple days, I'll pay you"

The Jamaican immediately accepted. The pay was OK and the work wasn't hard. He swung from the tree, and the
kids fed him fruits and nuts. He actually started enjoying himself. He even started adding a few acrobatic moves that he had seen on TV. Late in the afternoon he swung a bit too vigorously, lost his grip and flew clean out
of the monkey cage and landed in the lion cage next door.

The lion let out a huge roar and our friend in the monkey suit bawled out, "LAWD GOD, MI DEAD NOW". The huge lion immediately pounced on him, grabbed him by the throat and whispered, "Man shut yuh raas, if yuh evah mek mi lose di likkle wuk yuh si..."