only in jamaica [long version] - Jamaica Talk

dudley one · #1 (**permalink**) 06-17-2005, 10:11 AM

Only In Jamaica

Only in Jamaica, citizens have to protect police from gunman.
Only in Jamaica, you'll have police cars parked at rum bars.
Only in Jamaica, can people strike everyday just not to go to work.
Only in Jamaica, gal fat up demself wid foul pill and bleach out dem skin wid toothpaste.
Only in Jamaica, prisoners are allowed to have cell phone fe run dem operation and report warden to dem posse.
Only in Jamaica, the Airport people can tell you bout yuh parts and there is nobody to report them to.
Only in Jamaica, when you go t a restaurant, the waiter tells you hold on so he can watch the football game.
Only in Jamaica, tief tie up security guard and steal him German Shepherd Guard Dog.
Only in Jamaica, you can step up and step down in a bus same time.
Only in Jamaica, you can borrow somebody else side of the road fi drive pon till yours get better.
Only in Jamaica, the more mess politician mek is the more pay dem get.
Only in Jamaica, SUV can' pass road test.
Only in Jamaica, you have bicycle-by shootings.
Only in Jamaica, the Gulf-War still affect gas price.
Only in Jamaica, can a thief hold you up and ask you to walk wid more money the next time.
Only in Jamaica, police go to arrest a thief without a handcuff.
Only in Jamaica, do you see a driver and a passenger in a cab sharing the same seat.
Only in Jamaica, police are afraid of criminals.
Only in Jamaica, is the greatest tourist attraction a Rent-a-Dread.
Only in Jamaica, can Ganja be the best form of agriculture in the country.
Only in Jamaica, can you be taxed for excessive use of oxygen.
Only in Jamaica, does every one drive a deportee and the less fortunate, a Lada.
Only in Jamaica, can you report a crime in progress and the police tell you to stop interrupting the domino game.
You know you are in Jamaica when even the baddest D.J. becomes a Christian.
Yuh have potholes so big when yuh drop in, yuh can come out.
You know you are ina Jamaica when someone is wearing a bubble jacket in 100 degree heat because "dem waan ina de lick"
You know you are in Jamaica when the last general election was called a bashment.
You know you are in Jamaica when it is 96 degrees and you need no shade...because nowhere else in the world could you go and find such peace of mind and contentment wid so much madness and confusion at the same time.
Once upon a time every J'can come from Kingston, now dem seem to come from everywhere but Kingston.

DrDunDem · #2 (**permalink**) 06-17-2005, 10:26 AM

NOW FROM ME READ DAT I CAN TEL U KNOW UR JAMAICA,

tHIS WAS FUNNY: Only in Jamaica, can a thief hold you up and ask you to walk wid more money the next time.

dudley one · #3 (**permalink**) 05-25-2006, 02:07 PM

True Jamdowner

Are you a true Jamdowner? Try to identify the twenty items below to see where you stand. If you consider yourself too young to know these, ask someone older to help you. Don’t peep at the answers, have fun!

Identify the following:

1. Bustamante backbone
2. Mac -a -fat
3. Pasero
4. Baby-fla-fla
5. Vauxhall Velox
6. Adastra
7. Asham
8. Four Ace
9. Bag-a-wire
10. Quattie
11. Veedol Can
12. Rose Garden
13. Sadamite
14. Copa
15. Charlie Bab****
16. A Cotta
17. Gig
18. Ritz
19. Bounce Back
20. Ranny Bop Shop

ANSWERS
1. Hard sticky sweet.
2. Awful smelling fruit in a hard case
3. A good friend
4. Government School lunch
5. Police Patrol car
6. Popular night-club in East Kingston
7. Sugar/corn grounded
8. Popular cigarette (also Royal Blend)
9. Unkempt wanderer in Kingston.
10. Three half pence (Old English currency)
11. Popular country utensil
12. LINDSAY ‘country bus’ terminal
13. Jamaican term for "lesbian"
14. East Kingston Beach Club
15. RJR-DJ- The Cool fool with the live jive.
16. Cushion placed on top of head when carrying a load
17. Toy with a string to spin it.
18. Cinema on Maxfield Ave
19. Marble Game
20. 24-7 Cold Supper shop in East Kingston.

SCORING
18-20 : True Jamdowner
15-17 : Hey, don’t forget your roots
12-14 : Married to a Jamaican
09-11 : Came to Jamaica, loved it and stayed
06-08 : Regular visitor maybe
01-05 : Foreigner

Tessa · #4 (**permalink**) 07-07-2006, 05:32 PM

True, true, i like that only in Jamaica thing... keep it up, u could go places if u aint there aredy..

Alex93 · #5 (**permalink**) 07-20-2006, 01:26 PM

11: Never heard of a veedol can.
18: What was unique about the Ritz cinema (Theatre) on Maxfield Avenue?

dudley one · #6 (**permalink**) 12-02-2006, 11:48 PM

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