A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well... when I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit me really hard where it counts most and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
__________________ "Please put down your guns and use words instead. Words might hurt - but they don't kill."
A woman and her boyfriend are in a bar having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it the more excited she gets and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and let's her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth and finally you drink the lime juice.
So the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue - salty but ok. He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks - this is ok. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.... At one second the sharp lime taste hits, at two seconds the Baileys curdles,at three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.
This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend. She smiles widely at him and says "So, how did you like it ?" It's called "Blow Job's Revenge."
__________________ "Please put down your guns and use words instead. Words might hurt - but they don't kill."
Re: ha, ha, ha.
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