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wife from hell
a police officer pulls over a speeding car.the officer says,i clocked you at 80 miles per hour sir.the driver says "gee" officer i had it on cruise control at 60,perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.not looking up from her knitting,the wife says:
now don't be silly dear,you know this car doesn't have cruise control.
as the officer writes out the ticket,the driver looks over at his wife and growls"can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"the wife smiles demurely and says"you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
as the officer makes out a second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit,the man glowers at his wife and says with clenched teeth,"darnit woman can't you keep your mouth shut?"
and the officer says,"and i notice that you're not wearing a seat belt sir.that's an automatic $75.00 fine.the driver says,"yeah well you see officer i had it on but i took it off when you pulled me over so i could get my license out of my pocket.
the wife says "now dear,you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.you never wear your seat belt when you're driving."and as the officer is writing out the third ticket,the driver turns to his wife and barks"WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
the officer looks at the woman and asks"does your husband always talk to you this way ma'am?the wife replies.....ONLY WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING!!!
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