I OWE MY MOTHER


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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.


"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished


cleaning."


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2. My mother taught me RELIGION.


"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


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3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.


"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next


week!"


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4. My mother taught me LOGIC.


" Because I said so, that's why."


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5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.


"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the


store with me."


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6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.


"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


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7. My mother taught me IRONY.


"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."


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8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.


"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."


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9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.


"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"


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10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.


"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."


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11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.


"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."


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12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.


"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"


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13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.


"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


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14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.


"Stop acting like your father!"


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15. My mother taught me about ENVY.


"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have


wonderful parents like you do."


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16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.


"Just wait until we get home."


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17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.


"You are going to get it when you get home!"


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18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.


"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."


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19. My mother taught me ESP.


"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"


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20. My mother taught me HUMOR.


"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."


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21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.


"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."


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22. My mother taught me GENETICS.


"You're just like your father."


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23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.


"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"


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24. My mother taught me WISDOM.


"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."


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25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.


"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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haha..funny stuff..i pretty much heard everything on that list atleast once ni my life

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~MakE IT DRiP DRoP WeT~

can relate to that, did your mother not tell you your going to end up deranged?

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do I have to answer that??

You can PLEAD THE 5TH!....

but yeah!!!!!

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PLEAD THE 5TH, remember is not everthing fe talk

Have you looked at the graphic in your signature lately?