Your laugh for the day. I believe we've all been there, done that, how about you?

They say misery loves company; let's share in this lady's agony.


When you have to visit a public Bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so
you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet
under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving
the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait
has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern
'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You
would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so
you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in
her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume 'The
Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.! You'd love
to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet
paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to
be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's
voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN
there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one
that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you
have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would
have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than
your thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your
purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and
your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you
scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue
in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly
onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well
that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ
and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper -
not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your
mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare
bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just
don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused
that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the
inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and
runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down
with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of
being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet
toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you! found in
your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so
you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of
women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of
the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was
that w hen you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the
woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the
men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse
hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest???
you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does
take us so long. It al! so answers their other commonly asked questions about why
women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang
onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

Send this to all women that need a good laugh AND, don't forget to have a
mammogram!!!!!! It could save your life!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Share this with a friend!
I Just Did!

__________________
"All around the world, we are gazing skyward, waiting for God... never realizing that God is waiting for us."

Design your own reality.