One for the ladies


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'

And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'


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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor



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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN


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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

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cute!

LOLOLOL why stop now. Here's some more


1. Men are like .Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like.Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like ...Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ...Chocolate Bars Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ..Commercials ........ You can't believe a word they say.

7.. Men are like Department Stores Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like .....Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ....Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like Lava Lamps Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Amen to the red ones.

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.