My first trip to Jamaica was in October, 2000.

I returned to Jamaica in June 2006 . . . and I've been back 5 times since then.

You might remember my first "trip report" on ETJ. It was the story of how I "found" Shandy after a 6 year separation, and then how I returned to see him two months later . . . and found out there was a "man" behind the "legend".

You also might remember my "trip report" about my best friend's wedding in Negril the following January . . .

What you may not know is that I returned to Jamaica in April 2007, with ShyCutieGirl. You may not know this because my "trip report" is posted somewhere other than ETJ.

Please note that my intention is not to repost that "trip report". In fact, the purpose of my thread is not to share a "trip report" with you at all, but rather a very "unexpected journey" that I was recently forced to take . . .

__________________

First, I want to explain the reason I'm posting what I'm posting. It's not easy to put your business out there for the world to see, but if my thread helps just one person make a better, more informed decision for themselves, then I've accomplished what I set out to do.

Secondly, what I'm sharing is about one person -- and not necessarily indicative of everybody from a particular place, or even every "male" from a specific culture. However, if ANY of what I say "hits home" or "sounds familiar" or causes the hair on the back of your neck to go up . . . please don't overlook your own concerns.

Lastly, if somebody or something is just "too good to be true", you know what . . . they probably aren't who they say they are.

__________________

Okay . . . just by way of background, ShyCutieGirl and I went to Ocho Rios in April, 2007. Yes, I saw Shandy (and yes, Shandy and I are still friends and still speak occasionally on the phone) -- but more importantly, I met Corey. I not only met Corey, but I fell in love with Corey.

Our meeting on the river was unexpected and oh-so-exhilerating! I daresay that I was so taken by this man that I finally was able to "exhale".

We spent the next few days together . . . and leaving the island was so very difficult. You see, Corey and I had spent "quality" time together . . . sharing our hearts and what we wanted for the future. A Visa to the U.S. was discussed, but there's no flies on me! It was way too early to discuss such a thing.

I returned to Ocho Rios six weeks later . . . looking for "proof" that what I felt in April was REAL. Sure, Corey and I were in daily communication with each other, ending every conversation with "I love you" or "We soon be together." -- but I needed to know if, in person, we'd still feel the same way about each other . . .

So, back to Ocho I went. The weekend was a whirlwind of romance, love and special moments. The only thing sweeter was the evening Corey took me to work with him (at Couples San Souci) and introduced me to his boss, co-workers, and friends. He introduced me as his "lady" -- with the biggest, million dollar smile on his face that made my heart melt.

Never before had I ever felt anything like this . . .

__________________

We continued to talk daily . . . and make plans. When the Visa was discussed on the second trip, I told Corey that despite how difficult it was to be apart, I needed to give our relationship "a year" before I would file to bring him to the U.S. with me. He understood. And, later, when we had a hard time and were "dying" to see each other, we talked of filing immediately and not waiting a year . . . but, thankfully, I have 2 daughters to factor into the situation, so I never took any action.

Okay . . . so I returned to Ocho Rios in July, 2007 -- and spent 8 days with Corey. This was the first trip where any "red flags" presented themselves. But, quite frankly, the "red flags" were overshadowed by other things . . . I met Corey's family (mother and brother) and spent a signficant amount of time with them. I also spent two days with Corey's 3 year old son, Hakim -- not to mention that we had a party at the Cottage so I could meet all of his friends . . . and, for the most part, Corey was attentive, sweet, kind, and made me feel as if I were the "bee's knees"!!!!

__________________

Returning home for the 3rd time proved difficult . . . and on several occasions, the Visa issue was discussed. Corey even suggested that he attempt to secure a "work Visa" to come over sooner and be with me . . .

Our communication remained constant -- it never waivered; and, those very few times that there were misunderstandings, they got resolved within a day or so. Every call . . . "I miss you and I love you . . . we soon be together." In fact, things were so good that, at Corey's request, I booked another trip to Ocho to spend his birthday with him in December . . .

Looking back, I can "almost" laugh at that . . . almost, but not yet.

So, before I go further, let me provide you with a little "proof" of my relationship with Corey . . . here are 3 photos taken of us -- one from each trip (our initial meeting on the river, the return trip, and my last trip in July).

__________________

Well, I always said "All that looks good to you, isn't necessarily good for you."

Last week, somebody shared this with me . . . http://www.visajourney.com/forums/in...=62544&st=9240

Do you recognize the blue and white shirt? Is it familiar??? Yup . . . my "boyfriend" is actually somebody else's "fiance" -- featured on a different website.

It can happen to the best of us, ladies and gentleman. At first, I was embarrassed. How could this happen to me??? Then I was angry. "Why did this happen to me." And then, I was hurt . . . "Why did it have to happen?"

__________________

I didn't get an explanation or an apology from Corey. And, his fiance' didn't have a clue about me and was perplexed at the whole situation. She shared that Corey told her that he and I were "just friends." She also shared that she was "so financially vested in the relationship" that she couldn't "get out." Their interview at the Embassy was scheduled for 11/6, they were flying to the US together on 11/16 -- and their wedding (for which she'd already paid for and mailed the invitations) was to be on 12/6.

And here's the final kicker. Guess where this woman lives and where Corey will be moving to??? ORLANDO!!! Yup -- Corey will be living in the same city as me. How fcukin' ironic is that?

So, boldly I posted my story on the VJ website . . . if you care to read the 20+ pages of "debate" from everybody about whether or not I did the right thing by posting, here's where it starts: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/in...=62544&st=9330 (scroll down near the bottom of the page -- you'll recognize my screen name . . . and the picture of Corey and I).

__________________

Yeah, just a likkle unexpected journey I've been on in the past week. Believe me, had I known I would be "traveling" in this state, I would've packed a box of Kleenex!

So . . . this isn't a thread to debate whether or not so-and-so's boyfriend is cheating on them -- and it isn't a thread about Jamaican men in general -- and it isn't even a thread about me and Corey . . . it's a thread about awareness. Who you think somebody is, may not be entirely who they are. They will only show you who and what they want you to know. Be leery and proceed with caution . . . pay attention to those likkle hairs on the back of your neck (or the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach).

__________________

One more thing, totally unrelated, yet again very related . . . "thank you" to my friends who have been there to hold my hand, listen to my pain, and wipe away my tears in the past week.

(Although I won't be spending a few days in December in Ochi, I will be back in Jamaica probably in May or June with my gurlbuddy, Jenni . . . and yes -- I'll probably see Shandy when I'm there.)

__________________

You are beautiful, Lilly. You made me tear up again....for my part in this, for the pain I feel behind the words, for your honesty and sincerity; but most of all because I've learned that you deserve even more respect then I've ever given you. I thought you did the right thing before on VJ and I think you are doing the right thing now. There is no shame in loving and having lost, in admitting defeat. The shame would be in letting someone take advantage of you...something NS will soon learn. I'm proud to call such a strong, smart, and beautiful person....YOU....my friend. I wish you only the best in the future.

Lilly you never need to explain yourself in these situations....you're right, its not about YOU. Its about the dual life HE was living. No need for embarrassment, or any of that. I'm glad you decided to share. Hopefully it will help some people wise up, I wish it had helped her. Money is the shyttiest reason EVER to stay in a relationship that's doomed to fail.....I pray for her.

__________________

How ironic about the money part. He's in it for the money (and opportunities) and she's stuck in this mess cause of money. Doomed is a pretty darn good word to describe it.

What's also funny is that in the end, she's out the money either way. But why choose to make it worse by keeping the sucker around????

__________________

Cause he'll change, right????????????

Thanks for the support JC and Smile.

The saddest and most difficult thing for me to deal with has been the fact that his entire family knew there were 2 of us being "played" for a Visa. I guess I was "Plan B". His own mother spent several evenings with me when I was in Ochi in July and told me to just "send for Corey" . . . I'd had many, many conversations with his sister (who lives here in FL), and I point blank asked her one one occasion, and she lied. She told me that Corey was very much in love with me and wanted to marry me and move to the U.S. to be with me.

Corey's still lying to his current fiance'. They conference called my cell phone and he yelled at me to "stop chasing him and leave 'them' alone." Believe me, I spoke with Corey one time after I found out -- and that's it. His voicemail message, with her on the line, was a ploy to make her believe that he was not the one who had pursued me.

It's been a very unexpected journey . . . and it's not over, but I'm really doing okay thanks to some very special folks in my life and here on this Board. I've received PM's from a lot of folks offering a shoulder . . . Thanks for that everybody.

__________________