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The next morning after about an hour and 15 minutes of sleep, my "decision" to go to the airport wasn't sitting well with me. I wondered if I were doing the right thing for myself. I thought I'd leave it in God's hands . . . if Mali called to tell me that "she" had dropped them off and left the airport, I'd go. If she didn't call, I'd be relieved . . . and I'd accept the fact that I wasn't supposed to see Corey again.

There was a "risk" to go to the airport . . . "she's" a cop and had been jealous and possessive during Corey's short stay in the U.S. I'm quite certain that if she knew I was there, she wouldn't be happy . . . and the thought that she carried a gun scared me to death. While getting dressed to go to work, I wondered if somehow I'd be on the 6 o'clock news . . .

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7:30 a.m., Mali called. The plan was that she would call me from the airport -- when "she" left. At 9:30, Mali called. I told her that I had a meeting at work from 10 - 11, but I'd call after my meeting to make sure "she" hadn't returned. My meeting ran over . . . and I didn't get to call until 11:40 a.m.

Next thing I know, I'm on the expressway -- headed toward MCO (Orlando International Airport) . . . driving 70 mph -- thoughts spinning through my head at warp speed. Am I really going to see Corey? Will this meeting bring closure -- or pour salt on my wounds? Will "she" show up and this be a "bad scene" . . . will I be able to handle this???

I pulled into a parking space . . . and all I could think of was the times I've flown out of Orlando to see Corey. It was strange to be AT the airport -- seeing Corey. I made it to the terminal . . . and called Mali to ask where they were at and she told me that they were sitting outside the Air Jamaica check-in. I turned right and started walking . . . and before I got too far, Corey stepped out from where he was sitting . . .

He was smiling -- that big, generous, million-dollar, capture-your-heart smile that was so near and dear to me. I got closer and felt nervous . . . my pace quickened and he walked toward me, his pace quickened -- and we met face-to-face. Within a second, we were tangled up in each other . . . grasping frantically at each other, crying . . . both of us . . . hugging, holding, not breathing . . . I could feel his chest so tight up against mine . . . and I looked up at him . . . his eyes, so soft, and sparkley . . .

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to you. Please forgive me. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me???"

"I can forgive you, Corey . . . but I'll never forget what you did . . . "

I looked over and Mali was crying . . . she came closer and she and I hugged -- and cried and cried and hugged . . . and then the 3 of us . . .

Mali stepped away to give Corey and I "privacy" . . . just him and I -- standing there . . . looking at each other, not saying anything -- just looking into each other's faces. He scooped me back up into his arms and rocked me. I was lost . . . lost in the love I have always felt for him . . .

My hands, reached up to his hair . . . the hair between my fingertips (a habit I had since we met) . . .

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And then the attendant from Air Jamaica appeared and told Corey that the flight was leaving at 1:30 versus 2:15 . . . and that he needed to leave to go through security (which would take a half hour) . . .

Both of us stood there in shock. Part of me was relieved that I wasn't going to be able to spend time with him. We squeaked out another 10 minutes together . . . I didn't ask a bunch of questions -- didn't feel that it was the time to do so -- but I did ask why he gave my phone # to his boss!!!! Corey seemed perplexed -- naive that his boss had called for anything except that I had promised to bring him a phone.

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Corey said that he was living a hell -- that he was unhappy and couldn't stay with "her". He said he knew it wouldn't work but he felt he should give it a try because . . . he's always wanted to see the U.S. I asked him what was going to happen. He said he was going home -- that he'd never given up his job at San Souci, and he didn't bring Hakim with him because he just knew this wasn't going to be okay . . . he said he'd receive his divorce papers in the mail. He said he'd tell me the whole story . . . he owed that to me . . . once home and settled.

We walked to the security area. I was fighting back tears -- and losing miserably. We walked together . . . arm-in-arm . . . just as if nothing had ever happened to separate us. It was weird; kinda like an out-of-body experience. I couldn't believe I was with him again -- and that he was leaving.

I said . . . "You know you can't come back again."

He said "I know . . . but I am going to get a work visa -- and will be in Maine in May. I'll find a way, Kelly . . . I'll be back."

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I took a picture of Mali and Corey -- and then Mali took a picture of Corey and I (disregard my tear-streaked face and swollen eyes):

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Corey scooped me up again . . . and we kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed -- and I cried and I cried . . . it was hard to let go . . . I stepped back -- mouthed "be strong . . . follow your heart . . . " and he mouthed "I love you" -- and then disappeared into the crowd . . .

I walked away with Mali . . . my knees felt like jello and my stomach felt as if somebody punched me.

Mali and I spent a few hours together and then I took her to the bus station so she could get back to West Palm Beach. We laughed together and cried together . . . and she told me a whole lotta detail that I didn't need to know -- some of which, I'm not sure I even believe . . . When she got on the bus, I thanked her for her part in calling me so that I could see Corey before he left . . . she said that Corey had been asking her to call me since just after everything happened in October, but that she told him she wouldn't. The only reason she agreed to call me was because Corey was going back to JA, and she wanted him to be able to see me before he left.

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All that night and the next day, I cried worse than I've ever cried in my life.

Just HOW could somebody who professed to love me SO MUCH give me up for somebody who they only felt obligated to???? That just mek no sense. Would you give up LOVE for obligation????

And . . . so starts my journey back home to myself . . .

Despite the hurt and pain, seeing him again has brought me some closure.

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I don't know when I'll make it "all the way home" . . . Right now, I'm still "in transit".

Be patient with me people . . . I'm mending a shattered heart.

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We interrupt this regularly broadcasted message to say.... "KELLY--YOU LOOK SO DAMN GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!" (minus the swollen eyes!!!) okay...back to our regularly scheduled program.

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DWL! Thank you for that, MissB!!!!! Now come on and show us YOUR sexy self!!!!

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Oh hell baby... I'm waiting for the BIG reveal!!!!!! LOL... It's all about your FINE self right now... I'm so proud of you!!!!!!!!

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Lilly, I logged back in to see if you posted more - I have many thoughts, not alot of them good towards Corey - but will post them later. I agree with you that going to the airport gave you closure - however, the story he tells isn't sitting well with me - having been on the receiving end of the "he's always loved you saga" from friends and family, all I can say is actions speak louder than words - if you love someone, you do everything in your power to be with that person - not go forward telling another woman you love them, making the call to you with her on the phone, etc... I am sorry for your pain, but in my eye, Corey is not a man - if he were, and he were truly in love with you, he would have been true and stood up for what he believed in.

Not saying that he doesn't love you - but I think he's like my ex - he loves himself and the game more than he will ever love a woman. You deserve so so so much more than that. To me, the words are easy for people - it's the actions that matter. I have been the victim of the family game, too - it's always the poor me syndrome with the guy, and regardless of how nice they are to you, they are blood to him - they will always have his back before yours.

Oops, I guess I will post my thoughts now, lol!

And I agree - swollen eyes or not, you look gorgeous - I wish I looked that good when I was bawling!

Don't worry, kids. She is better off then her words are stating at this point. She knows what she is doing.

Kel, you gave me chills with the kiss story. Wasn't it just hours ago, I said something to that effect to you? When I said it did you know you were going to write this?

RD . . . it means a lot that you came back and posted again in my thread. Thank you. Two days isn't a long time to be absent from the situation, but already I feel differently than I did when I was with him. I'm teary still -- and for the first time since the relationship ended, I miss him. I can still smell him, feel his hair between my fingertips -- his heart beat against me . . . BUT -- I'm with you that actions speak louder than words . . .

Smile . . . No -- I didn't really know that I was gonna "finish" my story. But, your comment made me realize that others may benefit from what I've experienced -- and, if nothing else, I hope I've helped somebody become "more aware".

But, I do ask . . . is my story really finished???

Corey has told me NOTHING about why he did what he did . . . he's not shared anything with me. All of my information came from his sister -- a family member who I had grown very close to when I first met Corey, and now, a sister who is trying to keep me in her brother's life . . .

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