...courtesy of Wahoo

In case your plane goes down and you find yourself floating on a raft in the vast expanse of the ocean and contemplating the "custom of the sea" (maritime custom in which stranded survivors drew lots to see who would be killed and eaten so that some might live), below is a helpful list of 30 illnesses, sorted according to whether or not you can eat the victims:

Illnesses Whose Victims May Not Be Safely Eaten

1. Rabies

2. Chickenpox

3. Leukemia

4. Tuberculosis

5. The common cold

6. Hodgkin's disease

7. Hepatitis*

8. Leprosy

9. Crohn's disease**

10. Mono (aka mononucleosis, the Epstein-Barr virus, the kissing disease)

11. AIDS

12. Influenza

13. Malaria***

14. Herpes (genital or oral)

15. SARS


Illnesses Whose Victims May Be Safely Eaten

1. Color blindness

2. Tourette's syndrome

3. Alzheimer's disease

4. Breast, thyroid, liver, and prostate cancers****

5. Asthma

6. HIV

7. Cholera*****

8. Chlamydia*****

9. Syphilis*****

10. Diphtheria*****

11. Muscular dystrophy

12. Tinnitus

13. Type 2 diabetes

14. Parkinson's disease

15. Homesickness

* It may be safe to consume a victim of hepatitis if you carefully avoid the liver.

** At one time, it was believed that Crohn's disease was a genetic disorder and thus its victims were safe to devour. Recent studies, however, suggest that Crohn's is an infectious environmental bacteria, linked to Johne's disease, which infects ruminants. If this is correct, victims of Crohn's may not be safely consumed.

*** It may be safe to consume a victim of malaria if the blood is drained and the liver is avoided.

**** Victims may not be consumed if cancer was induced by hepatitis virus.

***** Slight chance that these diseases would infect through the mouth/esophagus mucosa before they could be destroyed by the acidity of the stomach. Thus, their victims could not be said to be "safe."
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wahoo's motto: If it looks good, eat it!

I'm not sure which category of diseases Obi falls under, but I'd avoid eating him, too...

What happens if I print this information and they find it in my bag when I'm at the airport? You gonna bail me out Wahoo?

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One World, One People

The opinions expressed by Samba are not the official opinions of ETJ or its owners.

Can you imagine the questions from Homeland Paranoia

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One World, One People

The opinions expressed by Samba are not the official opinions of ETJ or its owners.

At an arctic survival school I attended at Eielson AFB, a few miles south of Fairbanks, Alaska, one of the helpful survival hints I learned was to avoid eating the liver of the polar beer because of the toxic concentration of vitamin A in the liver, believed to be a result of the polar beer's diet of ring-necked seals.

Now there's a useful bit of information that might come in handy in the event I ever find myself stranded somewhere above the Arctic Circle--like that's ever going to happen!

Besides, I'd be more concerned about the polar bear eating my liver than vice versa!

And people think you are crazy!!

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One World, One People

The opinions expressed by Samba are not the official opinions of ETJ or its owners.

what about people with Lupus?

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"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies"

Proverbs 31; 10

of course you can eat people with lupus.

that list is rubbish - give me one good reason why you can't eat someone woth leukaemia

*shakes head*
this thread was not that funny when first posted on dirty sandy beach
still not funny

although my responses back then were
lol

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I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it
I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

It wasn't meant to be funny, you twit! It's a safety advisory! I hope everyone on your raft has illnesses 1 through 15...on the unsafe to eat list!

OMG, Wahoo.....um....I mean Geezer.....I was channel searching Saturday night and I found a story on the trial of these 2 British guys who went the cannibalism route while lost at sea. I immediately thought of you. I thought you were goofing on some of those posts. I cannot believe you were serious.

How you do keep seeing all these spell-binding things on TV & I always miss them? And how dare you question my veracity! Everything I post is absolutely true! Especially my story about the time my plane crashed and I was the only survivor. And my posts about Obi. There's a book I read not long ago titled The Custom of the Sea (http://www.amazon.com/Custom-Sea-Nei.../dp/0471383899) that chronicles one such incident. Click on the link I've kindly provided and scroll down to the reviews.

PS. I'm getting aroused to hear that you were thinking of me.

Watch it.....remember, we know where you live!

In case you've forgotten it, the true story of my ordeal in the Aleutian Islands:

Did I ever mention the time my plane crashed in the Aleutians and I was the sole survivor? True story. Unable to stave off my hunger any longer, yes, I did resort to consuming the flesh of the other passengers in order to stay alive until I was rescued. I had just finished off a thigh bone and tossed it over my shoulder onto the pile of bones behind me, when the rescue team broke through the heavy brush surrounding the crash site. You can imagine my elation to see the rescue team, but my joy was short-lived when I saw the looks of horror and disgust on their faces.

"You can't condemn me! You can't judge me!" I cried, "You would have done the same thing if you were in my situation!"

"That may be true," replied the rescue team leader, "but cripes, man, the plane just went down yesterday..."

There's nothing like a clever comeback. That was nothing like a clever comeback.