While I was in Jamaica, I came across a very interesting article whose Contributor is Christene McDonald in the October 16, 2005 issue of "The Sunday Gleaner that I would like to share with you:

For years, much has been said and written about attitudes and performace of the majority of boys in our Jamaican schools. This topic has been debated by sociologists who are unable to arrive at an explaination as to why boys present more learning and behavior problems at schools, then girls.

One issue that has come to the fore in all of this is the deteriorating relationships between boys and their male teachers, particularly at the secondary level.

In our society, the adolescent years proven to be the most difficult. It is a time when rebellion is almost second nature for most teenagers---boys and girls alike. However, the reality is that our boys invariably tend to have a bigger problem with their male superiors and authority figures then they do with their female counterparts.

One troubles schoolboy from an inner city hight school has repeated conflicts wih a male teacher. He later confided to a female teacher that he intensely disliked his stepfather, who treated hs mother badly, and that the teacher in question reminded him of his stepfather.

Although all situations may not be as simple or as straightforward as the one described, the truth is that boys find it difficult to submit to male authority. In the average encounter, anger and aggression are often displayed on both sides---by both student and teacher----and unfortunately, this sometimes ends in physical violence and court cases, or worse. In recent years, violent student -teacher conflicts in school has testified to this.

One Jamaican researcher once declared-based on her studies-that the bulk of the blame for boys' poor performace and negative attitudes should be placed squarely on the school- the teachers to be exact-as they are the main ones who experience conflicts with, and administer punishment to these boys. This, a popular view is our society takes the responsibility away from home, the child's first training ground.

We must remember tht for the most part, a child rrives at school with his character already formed. Too many Jamaicans are still not conviced of the importance of two things: One, the home; and two, the father, in the awsome task of rearing a child.

A surve conducted in the St. Catherine District Prison in the mid 1900's revealed the 98 per cent of the men on death row either did not know their fathers or did not know where he was.

In Jamaica, too many boys have been deprived of the presence of a father who is always there, and many times when the male parent does not enter the picture, it is within the negative framework. The boy too often sees his father through the eyes of a frustrated mother, who may refer to him in the most undesirable terms.

to be continued on the next page:

On one occasion, an English class in one high school was asked to write an essay about "My Family." A number of students--particularly the boys--reacted with immense disgust, some declaring "Mi no have no family!" These boys, however, fervently sang the praises of their mothers. Another class was given th topic. "Mothers are More Important than Fathers' to debate. All except one student chose to agree with the statement.

A SERIOUS GENERALISATION:

The thought of opposing this moot did not occur to the others. One male presenter declared rather matter-of-factly that mothers are indeed more important then fathers, because "Fathers only give the mothers babies and leave"-a serious generalisation. These boys also sang the praises of their mothers.

These occurrences serve to remind us that much still needs to be done on the part of fathers. Being there for your son--or daughter--not only means providing for his or her financial or physical needs. It also means being a shoulder to lean on, a role model, and a source of love.
Yes, boys do need a father's expression of love and approval despite the popular myths. He also need to be there as disciplinarian. The overburden mother is often too tired and devoid of ideas on how to discipline her son, so she allows him a free run. Soon, the ball-field friends, the "guys on the corner" and 'the gang' begin to do the training for her, and this is where the touble begins.

Important though they may be, and important they are indeed --we cannot expect the agents of community such as school, church, clubs and so on, to provide for all the needs of a growing youth. We have seen the success rate, and the facts speak for themselves. God gave each child two parents for a reason. He has the power and could have done otherwise, but he didn't.

Have you ever wondered why? Let us face this--strange though it may sound--no one can truly take the place of father, not even mother.

With so many terrible father out there, I hate to make such broad statements like this. I often wonder if it would be better to have someone abusive, in whatever way, in your life, or not.

I know a guy who never even met his father (he's deceased as of last year) and who's mother is a real piece of work.....she put him out to live in the street when he was 11 because her boyfriend didn't want him around. Today, he has a love/hate relationship with his mother; but is the kindest, sweetest, gentlest, most honest & trustworthy, hardest working guy I know.

While absentee fathers (mothers) effect children, I am not exactly sure what truly makes us who we are. I think it is a combination of everything we face growing up.