Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, ma'am?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running, ma'am?

Customer: Let's see... I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running now.

Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until it's erased the programs you don't want.

Customer: Okay, now LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTs but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Tech Support: Excellent. You're getting good at this. Now, click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. Ah, one more thing.

Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will! Thanks for your help!

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"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies"

Proverbs 31; 10

That could have been written for me - with my need to love my computer more than myself!!!!

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Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!

thanks you guys!!!!

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"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies"

Proverbs 31; 10

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?


Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?



Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?




Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?




Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?




Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?




Tech Support: What programs are running ?




Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.




Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?




Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?




Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.




Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?




Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.




Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?




Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.




Customer: So, what should I do?




Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.




Customer: Okay, done on that one.




Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.


Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?




Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.




Customer: Thank you, God.

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No Man Is An Island.....And No Man Stands Alone.

This is fantastic and put in such a way that everyone can understand. I love it.

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This is the best yet!

Very cute! Mind if I borrow it for my Sunday School Class? I teach teens and I think they'd like it!

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The horizon is not my boundry - rather an ever-expanding destination. Enjoy the ride!

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Dem neva Know,But dem Know Now !!

ok................I like it

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hehe.... I gotta go an reboot!!!! I got sum I DON'T WANNA SEE UR TIRED *SS AROUND MY HOUSE NO MORE.EXE

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Please dont bother reading my disclaimer I only thought the others were hilarious and I wanted to have one too, so I really dont kno what to write here.. I just want it to be long enough so y'all have to get closer to the screen to read it

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good stuff

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I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it
I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over