Sorry you had to go through that ordeal Hotteach. I'm happy that you survived it. Give thanks that you still have life. You will feel better in time. Take Lady Rasta's advice and take the counselling - both for you and your son.
When your head is clearer, take the time to look at what you can do to reduce the risk of a repeat situation, or similar situation. This introspective is important. You must not allow yourself to panic or get paranoid, but you must assess your level of risk, and understand what you can do to safeguard yourself, your family and your property.
Once you see what you can do, go forth and get it done.
This is an important activity, not just because it helps to make you more secure, but also because it helps to make you feel more secure. If you are proactive, it helps you to heal faster psychologically. You will be taking back control of your life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hotteach
Wonder if you are faced with using a gun to protect yourself...could You do it?
Yes.
It would not be the first preference, but if the situation demanded it, then it would have to be done.
This is where self defence training comes in. Self defence begins with conscious thought and awareness. It is better to avoid danger than to combat danger. If you are aware and proactive, you can avoid much of the dangers out there. If you do encounter a threatening situation, training provides you with options for response. If you have a gun, and are trained properly in its use, you will know when it is appropriate to use it, and you will do what is necessary. Self defence training is more than learning techniques to take people out. It is about developing awareness and risk management skills.
__________________ "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." - Matthew 5 v11 KJV
Sorry you had to go through that ordeal Hotteach. I'm happy that you survived it. Give thanks that you still have life. You will feel better in time. Take Lady Rasta's advice and take the counselling - both for you and your son.
When your head is clearer, take the time to look at what you can do to reduce the risk of a repeat situation, or similar situation. This introspective is important. You must not allow yourself to panic or get paranoid, but you must assess your level of risk, and understand what you can do to safeguard yourself, your family and your property.
Once you see what you can do, go forth and get it done.
This is an important activity, not just because it helps to make you more secure, but also because it helps to make you feel more secure. If you are proactive, it helps you to heal faster psychologically. You will be taking back control of your life.
Yes.
It would not be the first preference, but if the situation demanded it, then it would have to be done.
This is where self defence training comes in. Self defence begins with conscious thought and awareness. It is better to avoid danger than to combat danger. If you are aware and proactive, you can avoid much of the dangers out there. If you do encounter a threatening situation, training provides you with options for response. If you have a gun, and are trained properly in its use, you will know when it is appropriate to use it, and you will do what is necessary. Self defence training is more than learning techniques to take people out. It is about developing awareness and risk management skills.
This is all very useful advice...some I have already been working on...I have had some self defense training...and since i purchased my gun i have had some training and practice using it at a range....
This is all very useful advice...some I have already been working on...I have had some self defense training...and since i purchased my gun i have had some training and practice using it at a range....
Good.
You might want to try writing down a "security plan" for your home and yourself. Just something to put your thoughts out there and focus your thinking.
Make sure you take the counselling.
__________________ "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." - Matthew 5 v11 KJV
You might want to try writing down a "security plan" for your home and yourself. Just something to put your thoughts out there and focus your thinking.
Make sure you take the counselling.
Yeah ....better than thinking of what happened over and over.
Yeah ....better than thinking of what happened over and over.
Well, thinking about can be a good thing, if you focus the thinking constructively. Instead of focusing on how terrible it was, think about :
1. The fact that you made it through
2. The fact that nothing worse happened
3. The fact that your son wasn't home to be victimized
4. What you can do to prevent it (lock doors, setup alarms, etc.)
5. Consciously tell yourself that you will recover and be stronger!
__________________ "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." - Matthew 5 v11 KJV
This is all very useful advice...some I have already been working on...I have had some self defense training...and since i purchased my gun i have had some training and practice using it at a range....
Keep this thought in your head, if you pull it out you have to shoot to kill or the gun will be taken from you and it will kill you. Pulling out a gun for any reason other than killing someone is crap for the movies and TV shows.
If you are not 100% sure that you can kill someone get some mace or a stun gun.
Not to downsize the importance of shooting at a range, you need to shoot in high stress situations. I'm not sure where you will find a shooting range that will have audio feeds that will support this but most ranges that the police shoot at will offer it.
Well for me there is a slight difference to being a direct and indirect victim of a crime...I spend lots of time in BX, NY and I have been nearby shootings...its scary as hell and you do get scared, but I now know that when you are the direct victim whose life is threatened its a very different level of violation. Because of the nature f what happened and its still ongoing I will not disclose details. I was attacked this weekend in my own home by someone I once new....the grace of God my son was not here. I cannot begin to tell you how it has effected me. I have literally not slept one wink since it took place. I feel like my adreniline is on overdrive. I feel scared all the time, like no one can really help me. I don't know how long this will last, I am so angry and humiliated by the whole thing. I blame myself a bit cause i idnt check to see if the door was locked after my son left, my emotions are totally out of control...anger sadness anxiety, fear.....paranoia.....and I feel like the police are useless.
HT,
I am sorry to hear of your most recent traumatic experience. I know that this is not much of a consolation but thank God that you are alive and able to at least deal with it on some level.
I can only imagine that it will take a while to finally get over it, but that you must strive to do. Be it professional therapy or just speaking about it to someone close to you.
God Bless.
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
being part of a shooting weather you were shot or not does make you a victim...your afraid for your life and traumatized.
?
True.
Not to mention those close family members who have to deal with the resulting effects of the altered emotional behavior of those who were directly traumatized by the experience.
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
Have you ever been the victim of a crime? A Burglary, a mugging, carjacking.....one where you were afraid for you life?
How did you feel during, after? How long lasting of an effect did it have on you? Do you get over it?
What changes did you make because of it?
What about Law enforcement? Were they helpful? Did you feel you got any sense of satisfaction or justice from it?
I have been involved in violent and deadly situations and have been injured as a result but would not exactly describe myself as a victim.
The memories never go away. For me, it carried its own share of long lasting effects and at times I occasionally run the gamut of the unexpected nightmares for days or weeks at a time. Beyond that, all is well.
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
HT,
I am sorry to hear of your most recent traumatic experience. I know that this is not much of a consolation but thank God that you are alive and able to at least deal with it on some level.
I can only imagine that it will take a while to finally get over it, but that you must strive to do. Be it professional therapy or just speaking about it to someone close to you.
God Bless.
Thanks Alex and to everyone else for your good advice and support.
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