I said that you have to do what works for your child...

but in the same way that I don't condemn parents that use other methods and it works... I don't expect to be condemned for my methods...

but I don't like someone that doesn't have children practically accusing ME of child abuse...

She don't know me and she doesn't know my kid.

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"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies"

Proverbs 31; 10

like I said... I never just whip her outright... I do give her chances to correct her behavior... but if she does not correct her behavior then it is my job as a parent to take whatever means necessary to ensure my child learns the lesson and doesn't forget it.

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"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies"

Proverbs 31; 10

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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Windy I cant tell you how to raise your child but I can share my experience.....its not as simple as what you have described above.....your daughter has been used to a particular way of discipline....why would you assume she will now respond straight away if you just change the style and then resort back as quickly to the old style...thats confussing and makes no sense.....As I stated before it took time for me to learn new parenting skills, put them into practice and consistently apply them....it takes patience and time and very often as parents we resort to the quick slap or beating because we have neither the time or self discipline to work at changing our own behaviour.

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I couldn't agree more. I know lots of people who hit their children, they're nice people with good kids. Just like I was with my parents.

But I've managed to do it without ever having to resort to violence. I can't imagine wanting to hit a child. It's beyond me. I can't say "it never did me any harm" because I still remember being hit. It's horrible. And even at the time I felt like I'd won, in that I had the power to make an adult resort to such pathetic actions.

But hey, being a parent is hard. You got to have someone to take it out on, so why not the children....

but I don't like someone that doesn't have children practically accusing ME of child abuse...

She don't know me and she doesn't know my kid.[/quote]

im not condemning you im condemning your actions. just like the young kids i cared for in institutions regardless of whether they were beaten as children, i condemned their actions not them. Im sorry you feel im unqualified to have an opinion on this but I have one regardless. I am not accusing you of child abuse, Im saying I believe hitting or whipping children is wrong. However the Childrens Act 1989 (UK law) the Child Protection Act (Jamaica) and god knows what act in other countries, would say it IS child abuse.

im not condemning you im condemning your actions. just like the young kids i cared for in institutions regardless of whether they were beaten as children, i condemned their actions not them. Im sorry you feel im unqualified to have an opinion on this but I have one regardless. I am not accusing you of child abuse, Im saying I believe hitting or whipping children is wrong. However the Childrens Act 1989 (UK law) the Child Protection Act (Jamaica) and god knows what act in other countries, would say it IS child abuse.[/quote]
OK,...I seee.

So you are willing to respect THOSe laws because they make sense to you.

Uh-Huh.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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thanks for coming in on this. its obviously an emotive topic and im glad ive raised it if it makes people think.

OK,...I seee.

So you are willing to respect THOSe laws because they make sense to you.

Uh-Huh.[/quote]

yes of course. which i do believe is exactly what i said in the other thread on laws. i abide by laws i respect.

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True words 1stP. Well im sure Windy and Alex will chuckle away to this but yes I am (or was) a Residential Social Worker working with young offenders and children in the care system. In other words from your own, I clean up other peoples sh*t. And yes Im guilty of being a bleeding heart do-gooder but id rather be called all of those things than a bully.

And I drive a bin waggon. Just promoted!

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Oh no way ....I am right there with you on this one...I have mos def had to take up the physical discipline with my children. A sinle mother raising two boys with out a man in the house...it was ever so important to have strong discipline......or those boys would have taken over the house a long time ago. Its unfortunate today a s a teacher I see the effects of different "discipline sytle" on the students in my classroom. All of the parents who are worried that the children will be afraid of them...welll tere children are immpossible little monsters in school. The ones who are afraid of the consequences from the parents at home..well they are well behaved. I am not afraid to kick my child's but if he needs it...fortunately he almost never needs it any more because we have since they were small established clear discipline. I not only have used spanking but other means of sonsequence as well...this is NOT and I repeat NOT abuse!

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Ill leave this one for others. Ive shared my views, Ill move on.