**Having problems with/doubts/concerns about/questions about a Jamaican? Read Here!** - Page 8 - Jamaica Talk

Alex4Ja · #**106** (**permalink**) 05-25-2007, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babyloc

i would say "throw themselves at the feet" is a n apt description...jsut look at all that has gone on here on this board.....weman always talking bout this ja man and that ja man...on and on and on ....'cant wait to get to ja to get some'...on and on and on....just pathetic....then they come back with their trip reports and they are in love!!! give me a break...after one week on vacation....and immediately make plans to return.... HOW MANY HAVE DONE THIS HERE alone?...these ladies can "find love" anywhere....why wait to go to jamaica or always seem to find some ja man?.......

tossing themselves at the feet of ja seems to be a good descripton for sure...thats why i have no sympathy when it goes bad....and just wait and watch cuz the main ones running round talking bout "small minded ppl" got the biggest surprise that will be reveald to them in time.

OK, We hear you, Loc
You make a lot of strong points; but I still wouldnt say that they throw themselves.
At least, not all.

Maybe its just the anticipated thrill of going to sunny, exotic Jamaica.

teacher · #**107** (**permalink**) 06-08-2007, 12:37 AM

Thank you for the slap of reality!

JASpice · #**108** (**permalink**) 06-08-2007, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teacher

Thank you for the slap of reality!

I hope that was in a good way. You must take the negative with the positive.

p-bird · #**109** (**permalink**) 06-12-2007, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onion

He wont be able to get half unless his name was on the deed when you both it and he contributed to the purchase financially. And just to point out that he didnt do what he did because he is/was a jamaican, I knew a black woman who marry an english man and he beat the crap out of her and gamble all the house-keeping, she had to just grab the children and leave with just the clothe they had on so dont think all jamaican men are wife/partner beaters.

HELLO Onion just read your post thanks for the advice wish i new that last year. i did not say all jamacian stay like this check my post ijust mentioned by experience. i dont feel i was to blame because i was trusting because i belive when you are in a marriage there must be trust. thi man kept cow balling that he love me and that he finished with his baby mother cause she cheated on him. he was wrong. i never throw my self at him i fell in love him. now that may be wrong but when i love someone i give my self totally for saking all others

LuceaLove · #**110** (**permalink**) 07-09-2007, 06:41 PM

Greetings All, I'm new to ETJ and i think i have landed amongst the right bunch of peeps, to help me with my lil sit-i-ation...

I just returned from Negril, jamaica with my girls and i had a blast of a time. it was my first time out of the country and to arrive at this place was definitely an experience. I don't know much about Jamaicans as far as how they are perceived in the media and all except for the general things, easy going, laid back, poverty conditions and you ones that will not hesistate to get rude on you...but i kept an open mind and had a mind blowing experience. Everyone we met was very very nice. Very courteous. they staff at our all inclusive resort was friendly as all get out and this is before the tips...it just didn't matter either way but here is my dilemma. Me and one of the guys that works there really hit it off, instant rapport, chemistry, jokes, intelligent deep conversation, just real sincere. When he spoke me he spoke with a sincere authority that it was important that i understood what he meant (ya get me is what he would say), needless to say the way he carried himself, his conversation and ability to have fun, really appealed to me because it filled a void that i had back in the states. See i have a boyfriend, but one that i don't have any real feelings for. He is a sweet guy and he is trying hard to be the man he feels i need, and that is great, but there is no initial spark, attraction there. I have spoken with him about how i feel and he says that he feels the same way too, we just have to give it time...take it one day at a time. Yet, in the course of a week i found myself, intensley attracted to my new jamaican friend. I will admit, he is a bit forward in his ideas, telling me that he wants to be my man and when i ready he wants to be the father of my first child and all, i get it, you like me but lets pump the breaks and then when we talk we get each other. Upon returning back home to the states, i found myself, so sad for leaving. i actually missed my jamaican friend more than i missed my boyfriend. later my jamaican friend called me to make sure i made it home safely and we spoke so more only adding to pain of missing him. He would just keep telling me to be strong, that he needed me to be strong and that with time, we will see each other again and at that time, we can continue to learn one another. I am caught up yall, but here is a relationship i have talked about and wanted but it is soo damn far away. to tell you how bad it is, i am going back in 2 months and trust, plane tickets and hotel rooms are not cheap. Any advice. is he sincere or is this how jamaican men are towards visitors. oh and he has a 2 year old daughter that he says he takes care of but him and his baby's mother has a fractured relationship and is single. HELP!!! Before I start saving up money for a visa, LOL! but i'm serious. I'm really caught in something here

Romanticatheart · #**111** (**permalink**) 07-09-2007, 09:26 PM

Ok, so I will start because as a newer member, I feel it right to give some of the seasoned ones a break from this question. (not sure they will hold back even so). It is an important question and yes it is the right place to ask it. You will find many opinions here but very few will tell you what to do because it’s your choice. I will start by saying there is a lot of truth to the stories told about local islanders romancing tourists for opportunity. I don’t believe they are bad people but they seek a chance for opportunities that may only exist in other countries for them. They will make you feel like a princess. One begins to feel like Romeo & Juliet fighting for a love that the world seems to be oppressing and one that no-one else can understand. I am sure you believe, or want to believe, your love is different. I will say that most likely, your friend is seeking an opportunity through you and you say you are filling a void through him. Because we are humans, true feelings may develop through time but always remember how it started. What happens, 1 year from now, 2 years from now if you were together every day? Will you have butterflies in your stomach still? Will his words (might I add are WAY to serious to quickly) still be just words or reality? Can you handle that reality if it comes to play? Will his words affect you the same down the road as today? You can’t know this. How much are you willing to give to learn this? Plane tickets, hotels, phone calls, meals and ALL the costs associated with a LDR will take its toll. It will most likely be all one sided. Not because he necessarily doesn’t care but most likely because your friend does not have the means to pay these things. Is this ok with you? Will it be ok 1 year from now? Accepting a man with a child means accepting that child and that child’s mother as a permanent part of your relationship. Is this ok with you? There are many questions to ask yourself and when you answer them all you will know what to do. There are many of us who have made friends for life by chance meetings on vacation. For me though, my friend has yet to mention being the father of my child. That is not friends to me. Those are strong words meant to hopefully play on your emotions when spoken so soon. Whatever you choose, move forward with knowledge of where your heading and be secure in it. If you have doubts then sit still for a while and don't make plans just get to know your friend better.

JASpice · #**112** (**permalink**) 07-09-2007, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romanticatheart

Ok, so I will start because as a newer member, I feel it right to give some of the seasoned ones a break from this question. (not sure they will hold back even so). It is an important question and yes it is the right place to ask it. You will find many opinions here but very few will tell you what to do because it’s your choice. I will start by saying there is a lot of truth to the stories told about local islanders romancing tourists for opportunity. I don’t believe they are bad people but they seek a chance for opportunities that may only exist in other countries for them. They will make you feel like a princess. One begins to feel like Romeo & Juliet fighting for a love that the world seems to be oppressing and one that no-one else can understand. I am sure you believe, or want to believe, your love is different. I will say that most likely, your friend is seeking an opportunity through you and you say you are filling a void through him. Because we are humans, true feelings may develop through time but always remember how it started. What happens, 1 year from now, 2 years from now if you were together every day? Will you have butterflies in your stomach still? Will his words (might I add are WAY to serious to quickly) still be just words or reality? Can you handle that reality if it comes to play? Will his words affect you the same down the road as today? You can’t know this. How much are you willing to give to learn this? Plane tickets, hotels, phone calls, meals and ALL the costs associated with a LDR will take its toll. It will most likely be all one sided. Not because he necessarily doesn’t care but most likely because your friend does not have the means to pay these things. Is this ok with you? Will it be ok 1 year from now? Accepting a man with a child means accepting that child and that child’s mother as a permanent part of your relationship. Is this ok with you? There are many questions to ask yourself and when you answer them all you will know what to do. There are many of us who have made friends for life by chance meetings on vacation. For me though, my friend has yet to mention being the father of my child. That is not friends to me. Those are strong words meant to hopefully play on your emotions when spoken so soon. Whatever you choose, move forward with knowledge of where your heading and be secure in it. If you have doubts then sit still for a while and don't make plans just get to know your friend better.

Thank you...I don't have the energy to answer this ..this time! And you did a fine and considerate job.

My recommendation is to read all that has been told and to remember that most of the information does come from experience..wether it's an American/British gyal with experience telling the story,a Jamaican man that has seen it time and time again, or others that have witnessed such relationships. There are many that are successful, but it's very very VERY rare.

windypace · #**113** (**permalink**) 07-10-2007, 12:46 AM

I answered it in another thread that you posted the same thing in...

and will repeat myself...

Do what any intelligent, mature woman would do... proceed with caution...

Take off the rose colored glasses and really see... and know... what is going on...

JASpice · #**114** (**permalink**) 07-21-2007, 01:49 PM

Curious...... Wah is the fasted anyone has heard of for getting a visa if they married in JA????

paradiseplease8 · #**115** (**permalink**) 09-27-2007, 06:51 AM

It seems with every trip that I go to Negril, My eyes are opened further. I don't have any stories like most here. In fact mine is almost completely opposite.

I had someone here in the states that got into a little trouble too many times and basically after being with him for 12 years I am tired of waiting for him to grow up. When he got into trouble this last time I decided to book a trip to Jamaica.

I had been there before with him but I loved the island so much that I felt it was time to go back because I was sick of the crap he put me through. I didn't know the guys were known for their gift of gab so to speak. When I was there with my man no one said a word to me. Everyone was really respectful.

So I read up a little and heard all the dreaded things about people running game and made sure I was on the look out for it. When I got to Jamaica there were some men trying to hit on me but I really didn't pay attention because I was not looking for any type of holiday relationship. I have to know a person before the chastity belt comes off.

There were tons of cute guys and I started to notice when a guy started trying to hang around me all day that he was basically trying to claim me. I got rid of him real quick. I was there for the relaxation and partying, not "fun" in Jamaica.

My sister noticed a guy that was cute and he came over and started talking with us. Right away he was too interested. For the next couple of days he was all in my face, actually getting mad because I wasn't paying him any attention. I told him I had heard of his type and didn't want or need any company. He fluttered around to different woman to try to get me jealous, It was actually funny to watch. I started talking to a bartender that was nice, he seemed to be genuine and not want anything from me. We had really good conversations and he showed me around at night time, taking me to clubs and things.

The last couple of nights were crazy, things seemed to happen so fast. Since I was there with my sister, I was not able to have my "fun", just make out like crazy. When I came home I was going crazy, I had no contact information I only knew that I was missing everything bad. I ended up booking a trip solo, When I got there he was glad to see me and I felt way better.

I have gone back now numerous times over the year and he has never asked me for anything, he is always getting my drinks for me and when I offer to pay he doesn't take it. He knew I had someone at home and I knew he had someone else (like most do). I went there in July for 2 weeks and he said it would be better if we were friends. He said if I had someone at home it wasn't right to keep coming here doing what I was doing. I told him my relationship was ending thats the only reason I am able to keep coming up here by myself. His relationship has since ended and he says now he is done messing with foreigners (sp?) he wants to settle down. He has never told me that he loved me and I haven't told him that either (even though now I know I do)

When I got home I finally was ready to give up on things here and send my ex packing. He said he's known it's been over for a while, which is true.

The thing is, with my Jamaican friend he never calls, only texts, he wont recieve my calls, I can only text him as well. It has always been like this. When I am there I am actually a little jealous when I see him speaking to friends on the phone. I understand that he is trying not to get attached but Damn. I have also crossed all tourist boundries and talk with most of his family, men and women. I really like the whole bunch of them and I have never had people treat me the way they do. I really feel accepted by everyone without the typical snickers like how some shady people in the states can be. So now I have another trip planned in December for a couple of days because I cant get him out of my head. He even refused to mess around the last trip because he kept saying I needed to go to my man at home.

I have no clue where things are going and this was the fastest I have ever fell in love and the hardest thing I have ever been through because of the distance. I guess I am just taking things a day at a time at this piont.

Sorry for this being so long, but it feels good to let all this out.

1stParadigm · #**116** (**permalink**) 09-27-2007, 10:23 AM

PP that moves me much!!!....and I certainly can relate to the everlasting waiting for the Bro to fix up. the sad thing is once theres an established pattern, so many never do

Your eyes and heart are wide open, protect your heart and enjoy!!!!!

paradiseplease8 · #**117** (**permalink**) 09-27-2007, 10:51 AM

Yeah, I've been dealing with my ex for the last 12 years and I know he will never grow up. He continues to have the mind frame of an 18 year old.

With me turning 30 this year I figured I've had my childhood relationship long enough and it's time for a adult one, when I'm ready. I actually want to take things really slow because I always seem to find a way to get into another one. I've never really been single.

As for my Jamaican friend, with him not wanting to hear my voice, It's pretty easy to pace myself, heck he's doing it for me. So now I text him about once a week and when I go and see him everything is normal again until I'm back to the states. Then it's pure torture.

JASpice · #**118** (**permalink**) 09-27-2007, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paradiseplease8

Yeah, I've been dealing with my ex for the last 12 years and I know he will never grow up. He continues to have the mind frame of an 18 year old.

With me turning 30 this year I figured I've had my childhood relationship long enough and it's time for a adult one, when I'm ready. I actually want to take things really slow because I always seem to find a way to get into another one. I've never really been single.

As for my Jamaican friend, with him not wanting to hear my voice, It's pretty easy to pace myself, heck he's doing it for me. So now I text him about once a week and when I go and see him everything is normal again until I'm back to the states. Then it's pure torture.

Nice and Slow.. IS the best way.

Smile Jamaica · #**119** (**permalink**) 09-27-2007, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASpice

Curious...... Wah is the fasted anyone has heard of for getting a visa if they married in JA????

9 months is the fastest I have heard on the K-3. The IR-1 or something like that is moving along now too.

JamCan · #**120** (**permalink**) 09-27-2007, 12:58 PM

I have no questions, concerns, problems, cares, etc about Jamaican men.