well i have listen to everybodys point. well i must be the biggest fool. I must be the biggest fool in the world. i was brought up in the church very strict grandparents. when i fell in love trust me i loved hIm world without end. i belived him when said he loved me because i am trusting person. we were together three years i gave him all my money everthing i had. he is now driving with a nice car. his borrowed money £10000 from the bank.

The first year was lovely but when he moved into my house he changed he became very possevie at first i thought this was cute. he then started to shout at me. I never could do things right. he then started to hit me,but he would be really sorry crying saying his stress because he has not got his stay and that his kids are suffering in jamacia. again i would give money. i am not a bad mind person and i thought if i helped him that it would make him happier. i was going to help go to college.

i recently had baby for him and we got married last year. i found that he was still in love with his baby mother he has 5 chrildren with two women in water house kingston. i planned to buy a house with him i was helping him to get his stay in england.

but he beat in my house in front of my baby daughters.he locked me in the house cut the phone and broke my mobile so i couldnt called the police. he kept punching me in my face grabbed me from the floor by my hair extenstion i was in a daze and the chrildren were crying.he kept saying look pon you you is nuthing do you know how much women want me. yuh gwen suffer fu.....duty bicth and other jamacian curse words. not going to get a penny for the baby.

i then started to vomit blood as the blood was coming through my throat. when he went to the car i ran with my baby put in her in the car i thought my other daughter was behind me she was inside the house my husband came over to me.i was scared so i locked my self in the car he told he wanted to have my top that i was wearing cause it had blood over. i went to the police station.i am not saying that all men are the same but they are some who make for bad others. my life is destroyed as i have no friend because he wouldnt allow me to go out as he belived a that lady his wife need to stay in the house. i wasnt allowed to wear any fitting clothes or no skirts. he use to say he is my friend i dont any more. my family warned me but it was like he had a spell over me.

he used to say he is the man of the house my voice is not supposed to be higher than his as he is the man.


this is true what he done to me and the reason he hit me because he wanted £250 pounds and i told him know i couldnt give him that amount as i have to pay for the rent and nusery fees this pissed of big time. i never dreamed of having another man i worshipped the ground he walked on. if i had another a man then i could understand his violence but i didnt.

i pressed charges and going through the crown court and trying to get my divorce. i am very scared because he always warned dat he would kill me if i call police on me. i am ver depressed my gp gave me 5 weeks sick leave. i fell that my life has been destoyed.i feel like a orange he ahs used and squeezed all the juices out of me and dash me a side.i have tried to keep brief. i just wanted to show people what has happend to me and to let women know if a man hits you trust me it will never stop trust me.at the moment

Oh, P, I am so sorry. Is there some sort of women's shelter that you can go to and get help....any kind of help you need, including counseling? None of this is your fault. Men who beat women do it to make themselves feel better, not because of something you could ever have done. It is all about power and nothing else. Please seek out some sort of help. We can guide you on here; but you need more then just us to get your life back on track. And, you do need to get your life back on track for the sake of those little girls.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

OMG......this is awfully sad. My sister went through the same thing with a non-Jamaican and I know how awful it is. I would go find a support group and/or counselor. The reason why I say this is cause there are many woman that go through this and it should help to have others around you that understand. It's also a good reminder and caution to woman that meet men abroad to take things slow and to be as cautious as possible.

Hope things get better for you soon!

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LOVE LOCKDOWN

I am soooo sorry that you had to go through that........

noooo...this isn't true for all and anyone could fall for a man like this no matter where you are or where they are from. There are many men that are wonderful in JA that wouldn't harm a bug. My JA-ex falls in the catagory of abusive and I heeded the warning signs and got out of it in time. But it's not that easy to see when you are sooo hopefull and involved. The best advice I could give to someone dating a JA man...is to be open to opinions...especially from close friends that understand and are not judgemental!

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thank you jomosgirl and diamond girl so much. i was ashamed of what i have been through. i thought people would lauagh at me in the foroum. womens aid are giving me couselling. i tryng to move from my house but because i work full time i would have to pay full cost for a shelter which is around £400 to £500 pounds because most english shelters have on site social workers and keys works they are expensive for women who work. i have asked my housing to rehouse but they only have one property which is up the road from me which they said would not point as this would be the same area. the city council say i have to declare my self homeless they will then put me in a homeless and then they will offer me a flat(hard to lease flats) these flaths are dirty and in very bad areas.i cant bring my 5 year old and 11 months old their.
so i am trying to get a morgage but i am worried that my husband may able to get half. to be honest my life is a big mess and some times i just cry but my kids are keeping going. i dont know why he did this to me i loved him so much he was my life.

Oh wow....P........I just read your post...i had not read it when I made my post .......I was not being insensitive to your situation........its very sad and not your fault he was a psycho..........I was just refering to some of the other more predictable stories in the thread.....ooops...guess you should always read everything before posting

thats ok i am glad you wrote back because i was feeling a little sad.

Oh wow...keep your head up! we'll help you in the humor department on ETJ!! It is hard right now...but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! And...everything happens for a reason...you just dont see it yet!

I have an idea of what kind of man you ended up with..I was just lucky enough to see it early. I was dating a JA man from Ochi for about a year before I fully realised and saw what he was like. He was a real charmer, very nice body, great at many things...except was very over protective. At first is was cute and I admire how close he was...but then it started to become to much. On my last visit with him we got into an argument cause I left to go for a walk by myself due to an earlier arguement. I was trying to clear my head and needed my space. Needless to say...he did not like that and out of anger threw me down on the bed and started to rape me...thank god it didn't go that far though..I think he stopped cause he saw the fear in my eyes and stopped. Being by myself in a different country and wanting to end things on a positive note...I stayed and pretended to be happy and then finally left and never looked back!

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OMG!!! This sounds very similar to my last encounter with my ex......gave me a chill...cause I know that feeling of pretending everthing is ok when you are sooooo digusted....

P-Bird . . . my thoughts and prayer are with you. I'm glad you spoke up -- we are all here for you . . . no laughing or judging -- just here to support you. Let us know what we can do.

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oh my god i cant belive the support i have received from al you ladies thank you so much. diamond girl you have been through so much. i really think he is also seeing this jamcian women down the road. he was acting strange before he beat me. sleeping with his mobile phone. takins his phone calls in the back garden. he will probably go and get another women pregnant to help him stay in this country. i will never go back to him because i will never forget what he said to me that day. he said "i was planning to left u i was just wanted to give you a good beating before i go" he planned it this is what scared me when i was at work he was planning what he was going to do when i got home. not once when he punching me in my face head did he feel sorry. when i vomitted nearly on his shoes he said mind you ****ing on my shoes i was screaming say richard why are you doing this to me richard i dont deserve this. i also said to him you wouldnt want a man to do this to your daughter in jamacia. he then beat me again. he did a runner for days he finally gave himself to the police with his lawer. he pled not guilty self defence. can you believe that. he is on bail with conditions he breached his bail because he kept calling me i told the police he was arreested. he was saying to me he wants to be a part of the chrildren lifes the reason he slap me was because he was stresed i said you are a liar richard you was punching me. he belives that he is the victim.i am scared but i cant drop the charges becasue if i did i feel this time he would kill this time because you know the saying you never call police this is against the law with black people.

my 5 year old saw him hit me and she does not want to sleep in her bed cause he is scared. she said mommy dont take him back cause he will do it again. i have social services around it has been terrible but i thank god i am alive

gurl...do not...i repeat DO NOT drop the charges....you are right, you are lucky to be alive. think about the long term damage if you do take him back...not only to you but the the kids. it is not worth it. you are a strong woman and you deserve so much more than him. be strong and if you ever need help or someone to talk to...remember we may just be an online 'community' but we are family.

much love, stay strong and safe.

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thank you lillith for your encouraging words i really really appreciate this god bless you

DG, I went through the exact same thing. When I needed to seperate myself to think, he got so angry, he held me captive in the hotel room and tried to throw me over the balcony. When I could escape, I got the hell out of there and never looked back. Jomo ended up coming to my rescue and a few months later, we got together. The rest is history.

Be strong, P. You can handle this. Take care of you and use everything you can to make sure he always stays away from you.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...