Apologising while angry - Jamaica Talk

Mrs. Groovy 144 · #1 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:17 AM

Something alex said in another thread spark this one.

Have you ever been into something with someone, and you KNEW that you were right....but they just kept on with what they were doing/saying and hurt you in the process...but for the sake of peace, YOU apologised to them?

How did it feel while u were apologising.

I remember something similiar to that happening to me. I was dead right...but they chose to carry on with the argument and siad some nasty things to me....i was soooooooooooooooooooooooo ..........UPSET....but for the sake of Peace...and my professing faith...and not wanting it to get any worse....I went and apologised to them..it HURT SOOOOOO BAD....inside...I felt like I was going to POP...but I controlled that anger and just went and apologised....took the fault, even tho it wasn;t mine.

I have to say that after ward...the anger just ..left...

but in the beginning, i felt like I wanted to RIP them apart with my bear hands...lol.

Have u ever apologised to someone, while anger was raging inside you, to the point of it HURTING you to apologise, but you did it anyway?

JamCan · #2 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:21 AM

I can't say I've had that experience. I have no problems apologizing if I'm WRONG, and its hard to do. But I've never apologized when I'm right, just to keep the peace. I don't think its good for your soul, emotions, etc to do that. NOT in your best interest if you want to maintain sanity.

Mrs. Groovy 144 · #3 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

I can't say I've had that experience. I have no problems apologizing if I'm WRONG, and its hard to do. But I've never apologized when I'm right, just to keep the peace. I don't think its good for your soul, emotions, etc to do that. NOT in your best interest if you want to maintain sanity.

Im still sane....well...for the most part...lol..

So ur saying that you wouldn't suffer the wrong just to make peace?..you would rather hold on to your anger?

JamCan · #4 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:27 AM

I think its wrong to make yourself suck it up and suffer just to keep peace. No I don't hold on to anger either. Chances are if a situation arises like this, when the two people part the other one will eventually realize you were right and come to their senses.

Alex4Ja · #5 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Groovy 144

Something alex said in another thread spark this one.

Have you ever been into something with someone, and you KNEW that you were right....but they just kept on with what they were doing/saying and hurt you in the process...but for the sake of peace, YOU apologised to them?

How did it feel while u were apologising.

I remember something similiar to that happening to me. I was dead right...but they chose to carry on with the argument and siad some nasty things to me....i was soooooooooooooooooooooooo ..........UPSET....but for the sake of Peace...and my professing faith...and not wanting it to get any worse....I went and apologised to them..it HURT SOOOOOO BAD....inside...I felt like I was going to POP...but I controlled that anger and just went and apologised....took the fault, even tho it wasn;t mine.

I have to say that after ward...the anger just ..left...

but in the beginning, i felt like I wanted to RIP them apart with my bear hands...lol.

Have u ever apologised to someone, while anger was raging inside you, to the point of it HURTING you to apologise, but you did it anyway?

Any and every man who has ever been married for more than a year or living consistantly with a woman has experienced that a million times over.

We call it "Making the marriage/relationship work".

Mrs. Groovy 144 · #6 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex4Ja

Any and every man who has ever been married for more than a year or living consistantly with a woman has experienced that a million times over.

We call it "Making the marriage/relationship work".

what about an UNMARRIED relationship...siblings, friends etc??

JamCan · #7 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:33 AM

Quote:

We call it "Making the marriage/relationship work".

Why would someone do that though???? I totally disagree with bending over all the time just to appease the other person. One MUST have some principals.

Mrs. Groovy 144 · #8 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

Why would someone do that though???? I totally disagree with bending over all the time just to appease the other person. One MUST have some principals.

its not about bending over all the time....but as I siad...if you just want peace, there is nothing wrong with apologising whether you are wrong or not.
not everyone likes to keep malice for a long time.....

Hasn't anyone ever apologised to you even when YOU were wrong?

I have had that happen....and it made me feel like dirt...and caused me to apologise back to them,.....which led us to talking about what actually happened...and airing out the whole matter...in a calmer way, that if we were to be talking while angry.....

i honestly do not see anything wrong iwth it.

Alex4Ja · #9 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

Why would someone do that though???? I totally disagree with bending over all the time just to appease the other person. One MUST have some principals.

Watch it...Dat "bending over" thing down sound too appealing to me.

JASpice · #10 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Groovy 144

Have you ever been into something with someone, and you KNEW that you were right....but they just kept on with what they were doing/saying and hurt you in the process...but for the sake of peace, YOU apologised to them?

How did it feel while u were apologising.

Have u ever apologised to someone, while anger was raging inside you, to the point of it HURTING you to apologise, but you did it anyway?

Yes I have apologized many times over for peeps that I really and truly care for when I have felt I was in the right. By apologizing I have taken a step back and realize that no matter what the issue is both peeps have a fault in it and I take it upon myself to look at the good in the other. Then it comes more about them...not me.

I can't stand to hurt the ones I truly care for and if I care for you that much, it means more to me to be humble and suck it up. If by apologizing it is not recipricated and selfish on anothers part... I then pray for them and then I pray for myself to understand. All I know is that God wants us to love each other even if it hurts.

As for apologizing through a raging anger inside me... yes I have and it's extremely hard. Hard enuff that sometimes I am too weak and have to put an apology off.

Either way... I believe an apology is the right thing to do no matter what an argument is about for an apology is not only to the person, but to God as well. An apology is a way of recognizing that we are not perfect and it shows the love and care we have for another.... not about being wrong.

JamCan · #11 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Hasn't anyone ever apologised to you even when YOU were wrong?

Not that I know of. I'm always right.

Quote:

Watch it...Dat "bending over" thing down sound too appealing to me

Hmmmmmmmm. Why are there so many reasons to say HUSH today???

Mrs. Groovy 144 · #12 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASpice

Yes I have apologized many times over for peeps that I really and truly care for when I have felt I was in the right. By apologizing I have taken a step back and realize that no matter what the issue is both peeps have a fault in it and I take it upon myself to look at the good in the other. Then it comes more about them...not me.

I can't stand to hurt the ones I truly care for and if I care for you that much, it means more to me to be humble and suck it up. If by apologizing it is not recipricated and selfish on anothers part... I then pray for them and then I pray for myself to understand. All I know is that God wants us to love each other even if it hurts.

As for apologizing through a raging anger inside me... yes I have and it's extremely hard. Hard enuff that sometimes I am too weak and have to put an apology off.

Either way... I believe an apology is the right thing to do no matter what an argument is about for an apology is not only to the person, but to God as well. An apology is a way of recognizing that we are not perfect and it shows the love and care we have for another.... not about being wrong.

Well said................

JamCan · #13 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

As for apologizing through a raging anger inside me... yes I have and it's extremely hard.

Yes this is soooooooo hard. But in my mind, the harder it is, the more I think we should do it. I make a conscious effort to apologize even if I'm angry because I think it helps in regulating my blood pressure. LOL

Mrs. Groovy 144 · #14 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

Not that I know of. I'm always right.

Hmmmmmmmm. Why are there so many reasons to say HUSH today???

lololololol.....................

Mrs. Groovy 144 · #15 (**permalink**) 02-27-2009, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

Yes this is soooooooo hard. But in my mind, the harder it is, the more I think we should do it. I make a conscious effort to apologize even if I'm angry because I think it helps in regulating my blood pressure. LOL

that tooo.....anger is a killer