Ever had an emotionally tragic experience? How much has it changed you?
This could be the death of a loved one, a failed relationship, a public embarrassment, an accident or injury or an unpleasant change in your lifestyle.
How has that experienced changed you...For the better or worst?
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
I am changed for ever by the profound experience of my relationship with danville. I love him in a way i never really knew was possible, with a complete open heart, its the most richly rewarding experince i could have imagined. I will never be the same now that we are apart. i realize that the love has not now nor will likely ever go away, I have to find a way to put it away so that i can be open to love again. I have a new found abilty to love in a different capacity than I ever was able to before. For That gift i will always be greatful.
This is a big question alex. And one that im sure everyone can answer. However, not everyone can answer it in the same way (and Im not referring to people on this board, just generally) - some people can take sh*te and turn it to sugar. Some people can take sugar and turn it to sh*te. There are victims in this world and survivors.
I choose the latter. I have experienced worse than others, and better than others. We all have our cross to bear. My feelings are that when the worst you possibly think can happen happens, something worse then happens to put you back in perspective. In a strange way emotional pain eventually is therapeutic and empowering. You become strong, a warrior. Nothing can knock you so far down again. You still hurt naturally and grieve but you KNOW its temporary.
As painful as some of my experiences have been, and as much as I miss certain people, I'm so glad to have had them. That is no bullsh*t. I'd rather be the person I am now KNOWING i will survive and be ok than the person I once was, scared and living in fear of bad things happening and my bubble bursting.
I've had 3 emotionally tragic experiences in my lifetime. One as a teenager which to this day I can't figure out how it affected me, except maybe my attitude towards men.
Then I had 2 more later in life, which happened simultaneously. Which through both of those experiences I became pretty much an angry, hostile, short fused biatch!
For the worse, all of them affected my ability to trust human beings. For the better, I'm one strong person regardless of how messed up I appear to be. I have never let someone mess with me since.
Not mentioning my past military experiences, my two most tragic emotional experiences were losing two of the three women that I loved the most on God's green earth: My mother to cancer and my ex to divorce.
I have learned to be more easy going and tolerant when people start to be confrontational. I have also learned to me more considerate of letter other people have the say...especially when they are often silent. I will forever strive to be a better man in the eyes of any woman that I pledge my love to.
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
I've had 3 emotionally tragic experiences in my lifetime. One as a teenager which to this day I can't figure out how it affected me, except maybe my attitude towards men.
Then I had 2 more later in life, which happened simultaneously. Which through both of those experiences I became pretty much an angry, hostile, short fused biatch!
For the worse, all of them affected my ability to trust human beings. For the better, I'm one strong person regardless of how messed up I appear to be. I have never let someone mess with me since.
This hit a nerve with me JC. I have been (am) kind of in the same place. BUT are we not more victorious and strong if we continue to lay ourselves open and trust DESPITE this? Is it really possible to trust again, and are we REALLY strong if we dont? Not challenging you but myself I suppose.
LS your answer is very good. It makes me kinda respect the person you are just for having said it. I agree, we've all had our share in our lives and it has made us who we are. I don't regret ANY of it because obvisouly it was all meant to happen for a reason, whether its known or not. I guess for now I just deal with WHO I am.
This hit a nerve with me JC. I have been (am) kind of in the same place. BUT are we not more victorious and strong if we continue to lay ourselves open and trust DESPITE this? Is it really possible to trust again, and are we REALLY strong if we dont? Not challenging you but myself I suppose.
Yes to the bold part. But this is something I've not really cared to even try til the last few years. I opened up again and trusted completely only to have 2 of the most important people in my life crush that attempt yet again. Fortunately I still love one of them because he's mine. But the other one got dumped in the ocean somewhere LOL.
I've had 3 emotionally tragic experiences in my lifetime. One as a teenager which to this day I can't figure out how it affected me, except maybe my attitude towards men.
Then I had 2 more later in life, which happened simultaneously. Which through both of those experiences I became pretty much an angry, hostile, short fused biatch!
For the worse, all of them affected my ability to trust human beings. For the better, I'm one strong person regardless of how messed up I appear to be. I have never let someone mess with me since.
But JC, WITHOUT SNAPPING MY HEAD OFF...Dont you believe that there are honest trust-worthy and good men still out there? And dont you believe that it COULD BE this same "anger, hostility and short-fuse-edness" that's causing you NOT to find these great men still left out there?
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
Yes to the bold part. But this is something I've not really cared to even try til the last few years. I opened up again and trusted completely only to have 2 of the most important people in my life crush that attempt yet again. Fortunately I still love one of them because he's mine. But the other one got dumped in the ocean somewhere LOL.
But seriously, you are right.
I can relate again. And Im still not sure if im really crushed or my boldness is a delusion.
Good point too Alex - I have been told by neutral new people that my barriers, chainmail armour, crocodiles in the moat, barbed wire fences is offputting and will ony attract losers.
But JC, WITHOUT SNAPPING MY HEAD OFF...Dont you believe that there are honest trust-worthy and good men still out there? And dont you believe that it COULD BE this same "anger, hostility and short-fuse-edness" that's causing you NOT to find these great men still left out there?
Yes sometimes. But at the same time I do not just walk around looking and acting like this all the time. I'm more normal than you think at first glance. Hell...you've met me. What did I appear to be like to you? Its just AFTER I meet people, I think I just REACT to them instead of ACT accordingly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySizzla
I can relate again. And Im still not sure if im really crushed or my boldness is a delusion.
Good point too Alex - I have been told by neutral new people that my barriers, chainmail armour, crocodiles in the moat, barbed wire fences is offputting and will ony attract losers.
My close friends tell me this too. GG is the WORST of them....she doesn't sugar coat it when she tells me.
This one is nice. More men should strive for that.
Thanks. Its a pledge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySizzla
Good point too Alex - I have been told by neutral new people that my barriers, chainmail armour, crocodiles in the moat, barbed wire fences is offputting and will ony attract losers.
My point exactly. Just like most women who dont want to be their man's Momma, very few men going into relationships these days, want to be the woman's therapist. I know that I certainly wouldn't want to.
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
My close friends tell me this too. GG is the WORST of them....she doesn't sugar coat it when she tells me.
Well to be honest I dont know what the answer is as I dont consciously do it. But as much as I'd love to be able to trust and think that i'm a victim if i dont - I dont believe there is anything that can take away the fact that several people who I trusted the most in my life in a very deep way betrayed me in the worst possible way. Even if I can forgive them I am completely aware now that the people you trust the most CAN betray you. How can anyone trust again in these circumstances?
Yes sometimes. But at the same time I do not just walk around looking and acting like this all the time. I'm more normal than you think at first glance. Hell...you've met me. What did I appear to be like to you? Its just AFTER I meet people, I think I just REACT to them instead of ACT accordingly.
My close friends tell me this too. GG is the WORST of them....she doesn't sugar coat it when she tells me.
LOL. First you tell me that you are more normal than what I think at first glance . Then you ask me, what you appear to be like to me, when I met you?
I prefer to keep my mouth shut on that one and remain in your good grace. I won't attempt to judge you.
__________________ True loves comes quietly without fanfare or flashing lights. If you hear bells, go get your ears checked.
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