The softer side of things... - Jamaica Talk

MissB · #1 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:29 AM

(This is inspired by one of my ETJ friends......and years of battle scars...)

Do you have a difficult time showing your softer, more vulnerable side to people? Is it hard for you to trust? At what point do you finally open up and "let someone in" to your innermost world? What actions do you have to see on their part, before you know you can "go there" and let your guard down?

JASpice · #2 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:32 AM

Naw....I'm too much of a softy and let my guard down way too much. I think having been married for such a long time you get use to that and not think twice about it. If it works out it does..if it doesn't tomorrow is another day...maybe I will become harder with time.

GhettoGurl · #3 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:35 AM

I start out a friendship with trust, whatever you do with it and however you handle it is up to you.

I may have difficulties showing my soft side to certain people.

I open up when I fall "IN LOVE"... I fall in and out of love with Rambo. he mostly screwes it up by not being able to handle an arguement as an adult.. but just tried to ignore it and me for that matter.

MissB · #4 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GhettoGurl

I start out a friendship with trust, whatever you do with it and however you handle it is up to you.

I may have difficulties showing my soft side to certain people.

I open up when I fall "IN LOVE"... I fall in and out of love with Rambo. he mostly screwes it up by not being able to handle an arguement as an adult.. but just tried to ignore it and me for that matter.

I think this is so true.... for me as well. Some people bring it out in me... and others, the wall is up because of something I sent about their potential to inflict harm...its kind of instinctual on my part. There are some who immediately engender trust and others that my red flags go off immediately...and then there are those who are somewhere in between who typically get the benefit of the wall just because I'm unsure...

Do you think it makes falling in love harder when you don't trust easily??????

Smile Jamaica · #5 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:38 AM

I'm pretty much an open book.

JamCan · #6 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissB

(This is inspired by one of my ETJ friends......and years of battle scars...)

Do you have a difficult time showing your softer, more vulnerable side to people? Is it hard for you to trust? At what point do you finally open up and "let someone in" to your innermost world? What actions do you have to see on their part, before you know you can "go there" and let your guard down?

For me it depends on the person whether I have a hard time showing the soft me. Some people are easy to show it to, some are not. I find I can "love" people easily, but not be IN love very easily. If a man can show me his softer side and I believe him then I will easily soften up and let down my guard. Also, this same task has become easier with age. I've mellowed out a lot and tend to see people for who they are a lot faster.

GhettoGurl · #7 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissB

I think this is so true.... for me as well. Some people bring it out in me... and others, the wall is up because of something I sent about their potential to inflict harm...its kind of instinctual on my part. There are some who immediately engender trust and others that my red flags go off immediately...and then there are those who are somewhere in between who typically get the benefit of the wall just because I'm unsure...

Do you think it makes falling in love harder when you don't trust easily??????

Since I start out with trust.. Yes.. most of the time down the road they'll break it anyway and well.. you wont fall in love then anymore....

To me it heals tho.. I trust and trust and trust again... BUT.. sum day.. I'll run out of it.. and well.. We women we are like rattle snakes.. we "shake the rattle" 20.000 times to warn you.. so dont cum cryin' when we finally attack.

Sad part is.. my man is running on thin ice these days.. it hurts me so much that he doesnt even know the ice is cracking underneath his feet

JASpice · #8 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

I find I can "love" people easily, but not be IN love very easily.

Co-sign a million times on this!!!!

Smile Jamaica · #9 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

For me it depends on the person whether I have a hard time showing the soft me. Some people are easy to show it to, some are not. I find I can "love" people easily, but not be IN love very easily. If a man can show me his softer side and I believe him then I will easily soften up and let down my guard. Also, this same task has become easier with age. I've mellowed out a lot and tend to see people for who they are a lot faster.

No lie......you see who they are a lot faster and you realize you just can't be bothered with some of it anymore.

MissB · #10 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

For me it depends on the person whether I have a hard time showing the soft me. Some people are easy to show it to, some are not. I find I can "love" people easily, but not be IN love very easily. If a man can show me his softer side and I believe him then I will easily soften up and let down my guard. Also, this same task has become easier with age. I've mellowed out a lot and tend to see people for who they are a lot faster.

THis is so true! I feel the same.

It's really hard for me to trust someone enough to let them in so that I can fall in love...

But I'm not even really just talking about falling in love... I feel like I have to have my guard up at all times... have to "prove" that I have a thick skin...
Maybe it comes from being a teacher and having to be impenetrable because of how difficult it is to work with teens. I definitely have a soft side, but when you work with teenagers, you have to be on guard constantly because they will take advantage of you. perhaps that is difficult for me to shut off... I don't know... I'm puzzled...

JamCan · #11 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:45 AM

Ahhh I love this thread.....I see i'm not alone.

JASpice · #12 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

Ahhh I love this thread.....I see i'm not alone.

I think being able to not fall IN-Love with others so easily helps in getting over them quickly.... it prevents the heartache that takes a very long time to deal with. But then again...I have only truly been In-love once in my life.

MissB · #13 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissB

THis is so true! I feel the same.

It's really hard for me to trust someone enough to let them in so that I can fall in love...

But I'm not even really just talking about falling in love... I feel like I have to have my guard up at all times... have to "prove" that I have a thick skin...
Maybe it comes from being a teacher and having to be impenetrable because of how difficult it is to work with teens. I definitely have a soft side, but when you work with teenagers, you have to be on guard constantly because they will take advantage of you. perhaps that is difficult for me to shut off... I don't know... I'm puzzled...

Maybe it comes from having a family that I constantly have to prove myself to... Maybe it comes from having a dad who abandoned me and never showed me he cared about me until two years ago...

Jammie... you are I have so many similarities.... it's frightening....

JamCan · #14 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:51 AM

It IS frightening.....especially lately!!

MissB · #15 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASpice

I think being able to not fall IN-Love with others so easily helps in getting over them quickly.... it prevents the heartache that takes a very long time to deal with. But then again...I have only truly been In-love once in my life.

This is so true for me... I think for a long time I had a completely "romanticized" notion of what love is... as opposed to a real, mature understanding... and because of it, I "fell in love" too quickly and ended up being hurt... which in turn caused me to become seriously guarded...

The ironic part about all of this, is that my need to protect myself, to be "tough" comes from being incredibly sensitive and vulnerable, in otherwords, "soft"... but because of that, you get hurt easily...so you develop a shell to fend off predators!!!!! LOL.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
10 Things I love about you	GhettoGurl	Family, Relationships & Advice	33	07-17-2008 10:14 PM
God Will Make All Things New	JamaicanNYC230	Religion & Faith	1	06-09-2007 08:37 PM
simple things ~ db clifford	obiwan9962	Entertainment News	0	01-27-2007 01:04 PM
What are the sites and things you must see or do while in Jamaica?	onvacation	Jamaica Vacations	4	02-09-2006 11:14 AM
Remember The Small Things	Jelakins	Poetry Cafe	2	02-04-2006 06:50 PM