It's funny how when women are tough and unavailable, we get called psycho or *****y, but when we are soft, we get called "doormats" or "desperate"... ever feel like you just can't win???

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Personally, I have never heard such reference made to woman BY MEN...in cases where they play hard to get or when they appear soft.

I think its just one of those things that women think, men think of them when they behaved as described.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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In my screwed up little world, a woman is described as:

Psycho - When she exhibits some eccentric, obsessive, anti-social or predatory behavior.

*****y - When she appears consistantly miserable and easily irrititated by the actions of others, be it male or female.


When a woman appears "tough and unavailable" I percieve her as one who has experienced some past degree of criticism, verbal, physical or emotional abuse and as a result, has developed a coat of armor to "protect" herself from future harm.

In my book, I never criticise such a woman.
I admire and (at times, sympathize) with her.

I am not one of those who calls the grape sour, because I am not able to get it.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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Good job Alex... if only that was the always the case.

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I agree with Alex...I never would combine tough and unavailable with psycho nor *****y....those are more of an overall personality action.

Actually...I consider myself to be tough and unavailable more then not and I definately don't believe I am psycho or *****y...I'm juss not sure of my interest or I may be feelin a bit protective of my heart. I also don't dwell on anything to make mi feel angered.

As someone reminded mi once before.....it's about common sense....stop and think before you react.

(dang I wish I could always remember that )

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LOVE LOCKDOWN

Thanks.
When a woman makes herself appear unavailable, my opinion of her depends on additional factors...

For instance...
If she makes it clear in a flirtatious kinda way that she is interested in a relationship of sorts, but does everything to show that it wont make it easy, then I assume that she is simply dangling the carrot before the horse.
That, I like to call "Playing hard to get".
Such cases I find challenging and am then encouraged to move forward.

If she expresses her interest, in a pragmatic kinda way, but makes it clear that I will (metaphorically speaking) have to fill out an application form, signed by a notary public backed by 2 passport-size photographs... recently taken, a copy of last Income Tax Return and an affadavit from my local pastor; then I consider such as a climate of fear.

While I can respect a woman's reasons for being very circumspect about moving forward in a relationship, if I am made to feel that it will be similar to joining the Secret Service then I am usually turned off and then RESPECTFULLY redirect my focus elsewhere.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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I hear you.
But I still dont get the "tough" part though.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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LOVE LOCKDOWN

Meaning...I have to start wondering how soon she will request an AIDS test as well as to string me up to a lie detector and make me confess to my past fetish of dressing in drag.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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LOVE LOCKDOWN

Ok...gotcha!!! DWL

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LOVE LOCKDOWN

Yes I do. It may take years but I think I've figured out how to just be nice and let people get on with life. Okay, not "people"....just "person".

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

I'd forgotten about this thread... I've definitely figured it out... mostly in the the last few months....

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I didn't post in this thread . . . prolly because I was being psycho or *****y . . . but currently, I would have to say that I like my soft side and have no problem revealing it. When I was younger, I thought I proved something by being tough. Now, I'd rather have a heart and get hurt than be closed off from others.

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Well said Lilly couldn't agree more.

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Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!