The softer side of things... - Page 2 - Jamaica Talk

JASpice · #16 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissB

This is so true for me... I think for a long time I had a completely "romanticized" notion of what love is... as opposed to a real, mature understanding... and because of it, I "fell in love" too quickly and ended up being hurt... which in turn caused me to become seriously guarded...

The ironic part about all of this, is that my need to protect myself, to be "tough" comes from being incredibly sensitive and vulnerable, in otherwords, "soft"... but because of that, you get hurt easily...so you develop a shell to fend off predators!!!!! LOL.

LOL...what is funny is wen I fall for someone and I am trying to get over it...I start wishing and praying that I was a harder kinda person. I pray that I wouldn't care so much.... but somehow I forget about that and fall back into my softy self!!

JamCan · #17 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 12:06 PM

Quote:

I start wishing and praying that I was a harder kinda person.

Although this is not a gift either because I AM a hard person and it doesn't help you "deal". It just makes you angry.

MissB · #18 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamCan

Although this is not a gift either because I AM a hard person and it doesn't help you "deal". It just makes you angry.

True... and I think being "hard" is further along on the continuum than being "tough"... I don't think anyone wants to be hardened, nor do they really want to be toughened...but sometimes life makes it so...

when I was younger i was so much more opened up and now that i've lived some I find myself being very cautious... as a wise advisor once told me, "don't be easily impressed"... i've tried to live by those words in the last few years of my life...

GhettoGurl · #19 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 12:45 PM

Being too tuff made me getting described as an "unavailable" person and being too soft made me being taken for an @ss... I am in the middle now.. dont give a buck at times and soft when I need to be.. I guess I am perfect now NOW he calls me a psycho with mood swings BTW.. its never good enuf henyways

JamCan · #20 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 12:51 PM

Quote:

NOW he calls me a psycho with mood swings BTW

Hmmm that sounds familiar!! LOL nuff men call me that....including my own brother!!! Jerks

Alex4Ja · #21 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 12:53 PM

So they say you-re tough but it’s no shame
For you’ve been through hell, hurt and pain.
You have battle scars to show for the many fights
That broke your heart and kept you up at nights.

But as you saw, after each night comes morn
So too you must allow, new love to be born
Let go and let live, show your softer side
Time to shed the armor, no more to hide.

To move on in this world, we must sometimes let go
Leave the hurt behind, and let your love flow.
For in acting so tough, your softer side you deny
And you can never tell what may pass you by.

..In walks the soldier

JamCan · #22 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 12:57 PM

Yea that pretty much makes sense Alex. And its true what you might let pass by if you're too hard to see it.

MissB · #23 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex4Ja

So they say you-re tough but it’s no shame
For you’ve been through hell, hurt and pain.
You have battle scars to show for the many fights
That broke your heart and kept you up at nights.

But as you saw, after each night comes morn
So too you must allow, new love to be born
Let go and let live, show your softer side
Time to shed the armor, no more to hide.

To move on in this world, we must sometimes let go
Leave the hurt behind, and let your love flow.
For in acting so tough, your softer side you deny
And you can never tell what may pass you by.

..In walks the soldier

Good point. If only it was so easy to just "let go and live"... lord knows I am trying... it's a long journey!

Alex4Ja · #24 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissB

Good point. If only it was so easy to just "let go and live"... lord knows I am trying... it's a long journey!

The journey of a thousand miles ...begin with a single step.

MissB · #25 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 02:41 PM

In my case, it might require a lot of tip-toeing!!!!!!!!

Smile Jamaica · #26 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 02:52 PM

It's such a difficult balance....you want to be soft enough to have compassion, to care, to allow yourself to love and be loved; but you don't want to be so soft that people walk all over you.

Alex4Ja · #27 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smile Jamaica

It's such a difficult balance....you want to be soft enough to have compassion, to care, to allow yourself to love and be loved; but you don't want to be so soft that people walk all over you.

Want my opinion?

Its simple...Just be Pleasant, but Firm.

MissB · #28 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex4Ja

Want my opinion?

Its simple...Just be Pleasant, but Firm.

Alex, is the implication here that if you are strong you are not being "pleasant"? I'm really having a hard time reconciling that.. I think one can be strong and pleasant. I even think one can be "tough" and pleasant.

Alex4Ja · #29 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissB

Alex, is the implication here that if you are strong you are not being "pleasant"? I'm really having a hard time reconciling that.. I think one can be strong and pleasant. I even think one can be "tough" and pleasant.

100% wrong.
There was no implication there.

I was simply recommending the two postures to assume to get the best results.

Pleasant, so that one will not be put off by your approach and can see that you are easy to talk to.

Firm, so that one will see that you are resolute in your convictions and would not consider you as an easy pushover.

Thats all.

GhettoGurl · #30 (**permalink**) 12-05-2007, 04:07 PM

Bottom line.. be a ghettogurl....

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