rod does not only means smacking people but talk that does make a difference.

I am tired of hearing parents tell their rude kids time out which means they should go to their rooms and watch TV, play nintendo, talk on the telephone or whatever the hell they wanna do. as long as they are not in the parents sight.

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You have a good point, KC, but I don't think the rod refers to talk. There is a whole generation or two of people who would disagree with you on that. (Ouch!!)

i think the rod basically refers to being chastized. in the bible, wasn't the sheperd's rod also used to keep a sheep in line with the others or pull it away from harm?

not all kids need to be spanked to feel remorse for their disobedience. i'm not allowed to spank my foster child and i wouldn't even think of using that as a punishment since she has already had such bad experiences. don't get me wrong...i will not hesitate to beat my (biological) child's tail if needed!

thank you sister, preach it. glad to have someone that understands my point.

I am in no way saying to abuse your child by applying a garden hose or a broom stick or a pot to your child rump or head.

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I think it all depends on the child and what works. The one and ONLY time I tried to spank my son he was about 3 yrs old and he hit me back. It was at that moment I realized I just tought him how to hit when you're mad.

So I used alternative methods like "reasoning" with him and talking to him. I'd say that's logical. I cannot even dream of laying a hand on a child. I used to get whooped all the time growing up (belts, wooden spoons, hands) and I remember that all it did was humiliate me but it sure didn't stop me from misbehaving. I'm definitely against physical discipline and for the last 11 years my way has worked well for me.

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

but what about a child that is different from yours?

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Same thing. I think all children come into this world the same way, its what they are taught or not taught that ruins them. This hits close to home actually.

For example, my sister and her husband freely and openly discipline their kids physically, and I am disgusted by it. They yell at their kids and it embarrasses me. And you know what their kids do? Yell at them and each other, hit each other, hit their parents, and both kids have really low self esteem and hot tempers. My sister was babysitting my son once and he phoned home scared to tears because Aunty was spanking the kids and yelling and was really mad. So I went and got him. And all this in a supposedly "Christian Home".

If I see people hit their kids or yell at their kids in a public place it just shows me that they have NO control.....where they think they have all the control. I get embarrassed for people who do that, and for the poor child.

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

If I may add something I grew up getting the belt on my rump for mis behaving or a pinch, a squeeze or scolding, but I could never raise my voice much less hit my parents back. If I ever did I don't think I would be alive to post this.

I am saying cultures are different, in africa its the same they are used to physical discipline. In the US and Canada its banned.

You say all children came into the world the same way and I agree thru c-section or vaginal labour. But when they are born their environment becomes their background and that is where the niche is created. That is where they all become different from each other.

Parents have a big responsibility in training their kids, if i spank my child for misbehaving it must be last resort and when I do spank him, at that moment anger should be the last emotion he's feeling when I approach him -- so he'll be reluctant to hit back or swear at me.

Remorse.

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I agree with you 100% on the different culture thing KC. This is a totally subjective debate where there is no right answers, just points of view.

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

You are correct JamCan and for all the readers out there, my posts are only there to show that actual cultures and backgrounds make living unique. The way we do things may be different but we are all one people trying to get thru life's matrix.

Discipline out of love, not hatred. As the same book of Proverbs also says: "Train up a boy in the way he should walk, that he may never turn away from it"

So folks do what is most condusive to you and your child, parents you know best!

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Respect your elders is the lesson that is passed down from generation to generation in Jamaica. Hitting back at your parents might get a child a visit to the shrink in Jamaica.

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One World, One People

The opinions expressed by Samba are not the official opinions of ETJ or its owners.

let us not forget that CONSISTENT child rearing practices is what determines the success of whatever form of discipline we choose to use. children are constantly watching their parents, and their parents are their role models. that's why i think the old adage "do what i say, and not what i do" is a load of crap. if you do things you don't want your children to do (ie. curse, smoke, drink, have many "visitors") then you better do it when they're not around.

kids who know too much will also share personal information without realizing that they're going to embarrass you. on friday i was at the doctor's office getting a physical and i had my foster daughter with me. she told my doctor that her mom (biological) has hickies all over her neck. that statement shocked me so i asked her what a hicki was. she knew exactly what it was and how they people get them. i was surprised that a 5 year old knew that kind of stuff. so there's a prime example of what i'm talking about. the look of my doctor's face was priceless. lol

Tia I agree with you 100%. The first time my son mentioned something to me about me drinking was the last time I drank at home. And I was just having a BBQ with my ball team and we were all having drinks. But some of us had more than we should have. Children do what they know.

You're a pretty smart cookie for a gyal who just became a mommy a minute ago!

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

During the ages of 1-5 years they will absorb more information and knowledge than during any other period of their lives.

Never underestimate them (kids).

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One World, One People

The opinions expressed by Samba are not the official opinions of ETJ or its owners.

OK, I want to say something about this (even though it seems like a whole new thread).

I disciplined my son from the age of 2 until 4. He's 11 now and I havn't had to hit him in 7 years. Because based on his early experiences we have reached an understanding. If you ask him today, he doesn't remember me EVER beating his butt, but he knows that I have. Now that he's getting older, there are more effective disciplinary actions, like taking favorite toys away, canceling sleepovers, sports, etc. But it hardly ever even comes to that now.

I am a firm believer in disciplining your kids. My mom did it, it didn't kill me, but it taught me some valuable lessons.

Everybody compliments me on how well behaved and well mannered he is. He understood from a very young age, that little things like "Please", "Thank You" and "Excuse Me" make all the difference in the way people view and respond to you. And now that he's older, it comes naturally to him. He also understands and conducts himself according to, do unto others as you would like done unto you.

When I see kids falling out at the store, throwing tantrums and the parents just stand there, basically doing nothing, looking helpless, I am saddened. Because it doesn't help the child in the long run, thinking that kind of behaviour will get them the desired results. It's even sadder when it DOES.

Now in Tia's situation, that's something alltogether different. You have to be very in tune to what that child has gone through and very careful in your approach. But any other situation, I think it's not only OK, but important. And I plan on raising my daughter the same way.

Dayum....I know I opened a can of worms here, but that's my opinion.

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Don't fight it!