Ok........ one thing that I never have understood even more so since comming to ETJ is why there seems to be so many women who go abroad, have a holiday romance and expect that it will develope into a meaningful long term relationship?

Now I know there are instances when that does happen but such instances are few in comparison to the ones that end in heartache.

2nd question why would we believe that drop dead gorgeous men (like this fine specimen of a man below), are footloose and fancy free??... Isn't it obvious that most are already in relationships, often with children involved and that very often the prospect of a long distance relationship, where he sits with his legs crossed awaiting the next visit is far from the reality?.......long winded I know but..... you get my drift

Attached Images

Oh My.jpg (12.9 KB, 104 views)

__________________

__________________
Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
__________________

Thank You Alex

__________________

Well I can tell you from my perspective that this was not my intention, when I met Danville on my vacation I was certain it would not turn into a longterm thing. I figured he must have all those things that you mentioned. I spent time talking with him for three months, then when back to visit him, met his family friends and neighbors. He had broken up just a short time prior to meeting me with his GF. I prayed about this situation everyday trying to find the right thing to do. I fell in love and it did not work out. It could just as easily happened the same way with an American man, or any other man. You take a risk when you trust. Are you asking us to believe there is no such thing as an Honest, handsome and available man around.....If this was true, then I may as well give up the idea that I will ever find someone. Why shouldn't I believe that it could happen? i will never lose hope that the one for me is out here. Seems narrow minded to only think he must live in NJ for me to meet him...so i am open to meeting someone anywhere I go. You never know when or where your destiny is. i know i seem naive and romantic about it all, but, thats just me.

Thanks for your reposnse HT, I know this issue is quite pertinent to you so I appreciate your input

I was very careful in how I worded my post, making it clear that I recognise there are exceptions to what I have described and also using the term Most rather than all......so yes I do think there are some handsome single men around....but I dont believe there are many.......I also believe that you understand where I am comming from with this post, as time and time again we hear or know of stories where women go away on holiday for a week sometimes.......meet the "man of their dreams" and return "In love"....thats what I am refering to.....no time to known his real situation........just head over heals in love

__________________

Sure I know what you refer to. and i just would like to add this, its important not to be naive about things. I had the benefit of some prior knowledge and knew what to look for. When an American woman goes to a country like Jamaica,(or any other cause i have heard stories about lots of places) they are not always aware that there are "predatory" (for lack of a better word) men at these resorts. Many of the woman find a place like etj after the fact. They do not go into the situation with prior knowledge, they are naive. A handsome man approches them romances them, and make no mistalke some of these men ar highly skilled at this kind of deception. So they here what they want to hear, cause the man know exactly what that is, and they fall for it. We spend a lot of time here on this site talking about how foolish some of these woman are for not 'Knowing". Are not the sometimes "criminal" men responsible for decieving and conning woman. These men know exactly what they are doing. How can you necesarily blame a woman who may have never travelled to what ever country, and has no idea what is up. I agree that as a stong, educated, fairly savvy woman you should be careful, but these romeos prey on the woman who is insecure, naive, sheltered. Sholudn't they be allowed to travel in peace also. Or should they jus get waht they deserve for not doing there homework....just being the devils advocate here....

(just want to add 1stP I was probably not as careful with my wording as you, My disclaimer is that i do not mean to imply everyman is a pedator in Jamaica,or any other country.)

You just Looooove these threads don't you. lololol

__________________

[quote=Hotteach;385240](just want to add 1stP I was probably not as careful with my wording as you, My disclaimer is that i do not mean to imply everyman is a pedator in Jamaica,or any other country.)quote]

Your disclaimer is noted

__________________

LOL well its the media 1stP, watched any of these movies, The Holiday, Sleepless in Seattle, How Stella Got her Groove Back, Its a tried and true story line in these movies, The girls meets the man of her dreams in a far away place they fall in love and live hapilly ever after. Even the Fairy tales we grow on feed this Prince Charming syndrome, the Prince married Cinderella after just one dance at the ball.....I suppose some woman see enough of this they believe that its how it is. They want it to be true so bad, they don't want to see the reality.

15 year olds maybe "big grey back ooman" (as mi mother would say)..........Nooooooooo

__________________

Ok........ one thing that I never have understood even more so since comming to ETJ is why there seems to be so many women who go abroad, have a holiday romance and expect that it will develope into a meaningful long term relationship?

Now I know there are instances when that does happen but such instances are few in comparison to the ones that end in heartache.

I have no clue why...sorry, but mi not much help here. I have never had a holiday romance in which I expected anything long term. I did however have a romance with someone, but I knew it would be nothing more than fun. The only problem I ran into was that I couldn't get him to leave me alone when I wanted to end it and he showed an abusive side....kinda freaked me out and I never looked back. Then calls continued for about 7 months even though I ignored them.

But....as you said, there are exceptions...few, but they are there.

2nd question why would we believe that drop dead gorgeous men (like this fine specimen of a man below), are footloose and fancy free??... Isn't it obvious that most are already in relationships, often with children involved and that very often the prospect of a long distance relationship, where he sits with his legs crossed awaiting the next visit is far from the reality?.......long winded I know but..... you get my drift
DWL (Nice Pic!!! )

Again, I can't speak for others, but I have seen and witness this situation not only from forums, but from others I know off from forums. Everyones situation is different and the only thing you can do is hope for the best for them. Not to judge or critisize is a hard thing to do, but it's only fair to sit back and wish them well. If it's a close fren, you can try to explain what you see and hope they will learn before it's to late.

__________________


LOVE LOCKDOWN

LOLOLOL well, It would be nice to believe we are all experienced at an older age. Sometimes woman arent. They may have led a different kind of sheltered life than you and i have.When a woman is lonely and want to find love bad enough, she may not feel the need to look that close. I dunno. I am not saying they believe in fairy tales, but as American women we are so bombarded with these bull**** messages about our Prince who will romance us, marry us and take us away, We have a TV show called the Bachelor, 25 woman compete for about 6 wks for a man to marry them. In the end he proposes to the winner. I can't speak for any where else but America is an instant gratification culture..get it now think of the consequences later....so this phenomenon we see does not suprise me at all.

Fast Food!!

__________________


LOVE LOCKDOWN

On your first point that must be really scary and certainly evidence that it takes time to really know a person....this could happen to anyone

With regards to your second point....I'll be perfectly honest....many times I read and here stories like this and I will deliberately avoid responding to a individual situation wherever possible.......there's a very fine line between having an opinion on something and judging someone.....likewise sometimes if you share your opinion there is an instant assumption (depending who you are and who is recieveing it) that you are being critical!

I do however struggle wishing anyone well who is in a situation like this where it is apparent (as sometimes is the case) that the man is already involved, particularly if there are children........If any of my friends was in this position I would not hesitate to share my opinion openly and thankfully I have friends who are mature enough to recieve what is said knowing it is shared out of love and not bad mind

__________________