Hi 1st. Hows B'ham?

Holiday romances... There's been a few. They're fun. But I wouldn't expect a long lasting relationship from one. Also I think men are just as silly as women in there expectations of such.

Unfortunately at the moment though, my boyfriend is back in JA, so all we have are recurrent holiday romances with each other! Could be worse!!!

As for the chancers in Jamaican resorts, I've met a few (me sunbathing, boyfriend hiding from sun), I couldn't imagine being a women who would hook with these guys. But who am I to judge. Good luck to them. True love is very hard for anyone to find.

Better to have loved and lost.... etc etc

Hi Manu Birmingham is the same old boring place. Looking forward to my Hols in JA

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remember not all women are saints and some will seek romance even they are involved too. It goes for all.....I dont like it either.

anyone who finds that special some please take it easy and let things work their rightfully way. remember not to throw yourself headlong into it. Jus in case it dont work out.

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Good discussion....thanks to all who contributed.......signing out for tonight

Peace 1st

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Wey hey. Don't be bored. You've got spaggetti junction. I used to be fascinated by this when I was little!!

So when you off for your holiday romance? I think you may have said, but I've forgotten.

I agree with all of this. I myself have a hard time listening to stories where peeps have met there dream man and only have physically been with them for maybe...12 days at most and become engaged... I juss shake mi head and say a little prayer for them. There of course are the rare ones that are fi real.

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LOVE LOCKDOWN

I believe that meeting a man on vacation is akin to meeting a man in a bar....both are places where inhibitions are down and the expectations may be heightened. With a vacation romance, you are in some fantasy world of beauty, freedom, and away from your normal surroundings. People tend to cater to your wants and needs more. Add some sun, sea, and beautiful men.......

As long as both players know the score, I think vacation romances can be a beautiful (and lasting) thing. There are those women out there just looking for a good time a few times a year and are willing to pay for it. The men get what they want financially and continue their lives otherwise. That's cool if that's what they want. It would not be my cup of tea at all.

Those women who "fall in love" after one week are really pathetic. A long distance relationship takes a whole lot of work and a lot of time to develop. Besides the cost of trips and phone calls, there is the added stress of distance. Trust, faithfulness, and communication are key and if any of those is lacking, the romance is doomed. Time is a big thing....you cannot get to know someone in some fantasy world of a resort. You have to live as they live to understand where they come from.

I think that beautiful people everywhere, while not sitting around "with their legs crossed" are waiting for some sort of fate to intervene and help them find their mate. I think it is possible to meet someone you click with on vacation and for it to develop into a completely monogamous relationship that does stand the challenges of time spent apart and distance. I would hate to see a world where no one could ever be trusted. That being said, it's a tough road and most will fail along the way.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

DWL...Soooo true.....

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LOVE LOCKDOWN

Well HT, You know I do.
And you also know how I feel about your most unusual predicament. So sorry.

But anyone who has been on ETJ for more than 6 months knows only too well, my opinion on this fairy tale stuff. From my "tent-peg" remarks to my "Meat-market" descriptions.

I have been called many names including being a traitor to my own fellow Jamaican men simply because I try to point out (many times here on ETJ) the absurdity, NOT NAIEVITY of many women who travel to places such as jamaica, and expect some fairy tale romance.

Strangly enough, no one ever question the reason for my position on this.

My heart goes out to many of these women who UNKNOWINGLY put their heart into it and end up getting hurt, and for those, I take no pleasure in harping on this.
But could I honesty say that I sympathize with many others who KNEW of the game, ahead of time but still manage to convince themselves that their situation is different?
Probably not.

What do you call it when the SAME thing is done the SAME way 1000 times, but on the 1001st time a DIFFERENT result is expected?
Respectfully, I call it stupid.

This not a new game in town.
Certainly anyone can be conned anywhere in any circumstance. Whether on Main St, New Jersey, the mall in London or Dunns River Falls in Ochi Rios.
But for someone to go into a "well-known" situation knowing the most common results, and to then expect a unique outcome,they must certainly have a lot of faith.

The truth is...Most of these women want to be the next Stella, getting their groove back.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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Ok...now I am curious. Please enlighten us.

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LOVE LOCKDOWN

Were you a playa, Alex?

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Faaas!




Was I a playa?
Absolutely!
Down to the tip of my boot.
But that was then.

Have I ever personally met a "foreign" visitor to Jamaica and conned them into some fairy-tale romance?
Never.

Did I know of anyone who has ever done that?
Or anyone who has ever conned anyone into believing that they genuinely love them when infact they were only interesetd in getting their papers?
Absolutely!
Hundreds (Well, may not exactly hundreds....Just "egg-zagerating" a bit).

I was a playa but not a con man. In fact, the only people I conned was the ones I really cared for, and...myself.

I never fooled anyone into thinking that it was more than it should be.
Never.
I was always upfront. If you were still willing to accept what I laid out on the table,then that was fine with me; but no con-games.

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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Do you see how Spice and I think alike?

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

I'll say this...
While I undrstand the need for survival by many locals who roam the tourist areas seeking to indulge in anything and everything that will provide food on their table, I can not but feel antagonism for others who simply prey on these women to get their money.

I have no problems with the guy who meets the visiting woman who through mutual agreement decides to "have a good time". Call it "Rent-a-Dread, Prostitution, Sugar-Mommy, Whatever.Thats their business.

But when they (the men) fool the women into thinking that "Oh, I just broke up with my last girl-friend/baby-mother" or "I am done with jamaican women, now its just you, Baby" and the women guillibly swallowing it, to a point where they now feel that these guys are genuine enough to "import", then it kinda rubs me the wrong way.

From the Jamaican side, it seems OK. So what if a "Wite ooman" waan believ say dat a yaad man luv ar. An she waan be fool enouff fi married 'im an sen fi im. So what? No problem, mon.

But having had the privilege of seeing it from another side.....
The side where the 'ooman" in question returns to the States. Then after struggling to pay her credit card for the vacation that she could hardly afford in the first place.
Then going through the nightmare of months of collect-calls to her, sending money because "'im" (the jamaican) "find 'imslef inna a likkle jam and need some money".

Then asking to send dis and dat, then because di ooman is so much in love, she once again credit an airline ticket to rush back to ja, marry di man overnight, get some more sweet jamaican loving and head back home to start the paperwork, with a smile and a grin.

And all that time, the man is laughing his head off and haveing a jolly good time back home.
Then after moonths of frustration, sending bank statement, 1040 (Income tax return), thispaperowrk and that to immigration, the man finally comes to the States.
He then take his time to settle down, get a job, etc. telling her how much he is gonna be there for her, no matter what.

Then every month he has to send pack barrels back home. he spends so much time at the Western Union that pretty soon, they know him by his first name.
Then he claims that he has to return home for whatever reason....But he ask the woman to stay in the States.

To make along story short...2, 3 years into it ,after the woman has spend umpteeen thousand dollars on him, buy him clothes, car, and put his name on the title for her house. The same house that she threw her own 17 y.o. daughter out of, because "she needs to respect my husband"...After all that, he decides to divorce her.

In a little while, she is left with half of a house, an overused waterbed and a broken heart.
The man returns to Jamaica, marry his long time sweetheart,then send for her and the 7 children including her other 2.

Now, one may be quick to say that that can (and do) happen all the time, anywhere in the world.
But when the guilty party is a Jamaican man, for some reason ALL jamiacans are branded.

And when that happen to someone I personally knew. Someone whom I was instrumental in giving the assurance that "Di Man" was genuine.... When she took the break-up so bad. Got so depressed, that she first got hooked , lost her job, lost her house and then eventually OD'ed on heroin; then it really bothers me.

I could go on; but thats enough.

Its seems pretty harmless from one side.
But when the other person turns their whole life around to be with someone in teh name of "Love", the least they deserve is honesty.

BACK ON TRACK!

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Productive,objective, mental, spiritual and intellectual enhancement fosters personal enrichment.
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