Cause when yu tru to yuself, yu will face the reality of a situation and make the bes decions for your wel-being.
...Yes...I like dat.
Absolutely, it was being true to myself that caused me to let Danville go in the first place, my instincts as a woman told me so much about the reality of that situation, and letting it go was the only choice my head could live with.....now I just need to get that damn heart of mine to fall in line!
Absolutely, it was being true to myself that caused me to let Danville go in the first place, my instincts as a woman told me so much about the reality of that situation, and letting it go was the only choice my head could live with.....now I just need to get that damn heart of mine to fall in line!
Dont worry, hon.
Just free your mind..Your heart will follow.
__________________ "In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)
Well to me... the word "race" seems to drift away from its true meaning...
Race to me is color, yes, but it is also history/ancestry.
Good or bad should never be determined by a persons race, religion or creed... whatever... it should be determined by the individuals projected image of themself... if they do bad things... they are a bad person... regardless of race... if they do good things... they are a good person regardless of race.
As for women going to Jamaica to find a man... or Jamaican men "languishing" for a foreign woman... I think it is hogwash...
True, some women go to Jamaica to find a little romance... but they also go to Spain or Mexico or Brazil or etc...etc...etc... Men do the same thing...
As for Jamaican men being brainless... that is not true either... some may be... but most are probably not... from all I have read of Jamaica and its people and the Jamaicans I have known... there seems to be a lot of "common" or "street" sense that is necessary for survival in Jamaica... there are other parts of the world that are just the same...
As for women that go there and think that a man is going to be languishing over them when they go home... they are foolish... True... there probably are circumstances in which TRUE love is found... it can happen... but if you ask me... women and men are the same in any nation... regardless of color. Some men will use you for all you are worth... some men are decent and honest... some women think they can play a game on a man and have him eating out of their hand and some don't...
I honestly feel like "race" has nothing to do with it... it is the individual...
I won't lie... I used to want to go to Jamaica for the sole purpose of seeing and yes probably even screwing some beautiful Jamaican men... but I wasn't looking to fall in love with them... it would have been plain fun... no strings attached... because I HAVE to go back home and they HAVE to stay in Jamaica... it is not an easy thing to bring someone over to the states from there and as beautiful as I think Jamaica is... I can't move there because I am all my mother has... and eventually will be taking care of her... and SHE would flat out REFUSE to live in any country other than US...
Now... I want to go to Jamaica for the beauty of the place... and to go diving... I want to experience the culture...
But I do have to admit that I would be leary of any man approaching me... just as I would in ANY country... including the US... you just never know in this day and age whether a person is "good people" or "bad people"... you have to get to know them first... and I don't feel you can truly get to know someone in a week in some foreign country...
So a smart person... regardless of sex or color will be careful what they do and who they allow to be "in" their presence when traveling...
The only people that have commented on your thread are the ones I believe understand relationships. So far the ones who place cutting remarks on the board have not offered their comments. Maybe this is good, because I feel some people on here cannot have this serious discussion without the cutting barbs. Why can't they enter into a meaningful discussion? I don't know.
I do think it is good to try this thread Johnny127. My fear is that it will progress to what it usually does here on ETJ when we try to talk about racial issues. But I will step back, watch this thread and hope for the best.
I went to Jamaica because I felt that this was the place for me to live. I also went because I had sooo much fun there. I will spare you the details. Then I fell in love with my dear Ted. Seriousness set in and the problems involved in an inter-racial relationship began. He and I don't have the problem, other people do, that is what he says. And I am talking about problems in JA and the US. In the US I have faced the prejudicial eyebrow raising if people see pics of us together. One of the comments, "But he's black". My retort, "What difference does that make?" But I know it makes a difference in what we have to contend with in both countries.
The only time I see the color difference is when someone brings it up to us. In my daily living with him, it is like any other relationship I have experienced before, and that is to love each other, to have words at times (very seldom I might add) to enjoy each other's company and to work together for our future. I notice that he gets nervous when we are out and about in Negril or Mobay. I think he is tensing up in anticipation of someone making remarks to us as they have before, the usual "Renta A Dread" comments. But people are getting used to seeing us together and those are decreasing. Little do they know that I met him through a mutual friend and not on the beach.
What I would like to see is a harmonious board. But really, don't you all think that it isn't that bad on here right now? Some threads get heated but they calm down. I do think we are learning from each other on all aspects of social relationships, be it racial, sexual, gender, etc. Thanks for posting this. I probably haven't given any sage advice, but I feel better about posting some of my views. Peace n nuf luv.
The only people that have commented on your thread are the ones I believe understand relationships. So far the ones who place cutting remarks on the board have not offered their comments. Maybe this is good, because I feel some people on here cannot have this serious discussion without the cutting barbs. Why can't they enter into a meaningful discussion? I don't know.
I do think it is good to try this thread Johnny127. My fear is that it will progress to what it usually does here on ETJ when we try to talk about racial issues. But I will step back, watch this thread and hope for the best.
I went to Jamaica because I felt that this was the place for me to live. I also went because I had sooo much fun there. I will spare you the details. Then I fell in love with my dear Ted. Seriousness set in and the problems involved in an inter-racial relationship began. He and I don't have the problem, other people do, that is what he says. And I am talking about problems in JA and the US. In the US I have faced the prejudicial eyebrow raising if people see pics of us together. One of the comments, "But he's black". My retort, "What difference does that make?" But I know it makes a difference in what we have to contend with in both countries.
The only time I see the color difference is when someone brings it up to us. In my daily living with him, it is like any other relationship I have experienced before, and that is to love each other, to have words at times (very seldom I might add) to enjoy each other's company and to work together for our future. I notice that he gets nervous when we are out and about in Negril or Mobay. I think he is tensing up in anticipation of someone making remarks to us as they have before, the usual "Renta A Dread" comments. But people are getting used to seeing us together and those are decreasing. Little do they know that I met him through a mutual friend and not on the beach.
What I would like to see is a harmonious board. But really, don't you all think that it isn't that bad on here right now? Some threads get heated but they calm down. I do think we are learning from each other on all aspects of social relationships, be it racial, sexual, gender, etc. Thanks for posting this. I probably haven't given any sage advice, but I feel better about posting some of my views. Peace n nuf luv.
Thank You JM, You, as well as a couple more who have PMed me have restored my faith in the fact that there are still a few people here who can rise above their own prejudice and eagerness to point fingers and to see the logic of our discussions.
Certainly,the board has become more harmonious lately. And if we stick to our principles and insist on creating discussions that renew harmony, uplift ones spirit and foster awareness; instead of much of the garbage that we have seen in recent times, I am sure that ETJ will very soon , once again be the place to be.
Obviously, many threads such as this one has been a lightning rod for contraversy simple because many refuse to look deeper into the wisdom of the discussion but rather chose to be speculative and suspicious of every word. Ready to kill an idea than to nurse it.
I love to give, as well as to hear the views of our members especially when its based on facts rather than just opinions meant to harm rather than to heal.
We will overcome.
__________________ "In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)
Well to me... the word "race" seems to drift away from its true meaning...
Race to me is color, yes, but it is also history/ancestry.
Good or bad should never be determined by a persons race, religion or creed... whatever... it should be determined by the individuals projected image of themself... if they do bad things... they are a bad person... regardless of race... if they do good things... they are a good person regardless of race.
As for women going to Jamaica to find a man... or Jamaican men "languishing" for a foreign woman... I think it is hogwash...
True, some women go to Jamaica to find a little romance... but they also go to Spain or Mexico or Brazil or etc...etc...etc... Men do the same thing...
As for Jamaican men being brainless... that is not true either... some may be... but most are probably not... from all I have read of Jamaica and its people and the Jamaicans I have known... there seems to be a lot of "common" or "street" sense that is necessary for survival in Jamaica... there are other parts of the world that are just the same...
As for women that go there and think that a man is going to be languishing over them when they go home... they are foolish... True... there probably are circumstances in which TRUE love is found... it can happen... but if you ask me... women and men are the same in any nation... regardless of color. Some men will use you for all you are worth... some men are decent and honest... some women think they can play a game on a man and have him eating out of their hand and some don't...
I honestly feel like "race" has nothing to do with it... it is the individual...
I won't lie... I used to want to go to Jamaica for the sole purpose of seeing and yes probably even screwing some beautiful Jamaican men... but I wasn't looking to fall in love with them... it would have been plain fun... no strings attached... because I HAVE to go back home and they HAVE to stay in Jamaica... it is not an easy thing to bring someone over to the states from there and as beautiful as I think Jamaica is... I can't move there because I am all my mother has... and eventually will be taking care of her... and SHE would flat out REFUSE to live in any country other than US...
Now... I want to go to Jamaica for the beauty of the place... and to go diving... I want to experience the culture...
But I do have to admit that I would be leary of any man approaching me... just as I would in ANY country... including the US... you just never know in this day and age whether a person is "good people" or "bad people"... you have to get to know them first... and I don't feel you can truly get to know someone in a week in some foreign country...
So a smart person... regardless of sex or color will be careful what they do and who they allow to be "in" their presence when traveling...
WP, Once again I can not but respect your honesty and frankness.
Many DO think that we jamiacan men (Well Men in particular) think only with our brains below our waist. Even most recently, one person alluded to the fact the her friends problems with a jamaican man could be solved simply by her sleeping with him. (tsk Tsk tsk ). that just goes to show the limitations of some ppls mentality.
But in all seriousness, people all over the world go to other countries for fun and romance. Even many of us Jamaicans go abroad with the hope that we may meet some "foreign" women as well. God Knows, many years ago I was as curious as the other guy as well.
__________________ "In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)
WP, Once again I can not but respect your honesty and frankness.
Many DO think that we jamiacan men (Well Men in particular) think only with our brains below our waist. Even most recently, one person alluded to the fact the her friends problems with a jamaican man could be solved simply by her sleeping with him. (tsk Tsk tsk ). that just goes to show the limitations of some ppls mentality.
But in all seriousness, people all over the world go to other countries for fun and romance. Even many of us Jamaicans go abroad with the hope that we may meet some "foreign" women as well. God Knows, many years ago I was as curious as the other guy as well.
LOL... and you kill me that you take that one sentence out of all that I said to comment on... (tsk tsk tsk)
In response to Johnnys grievances I belive the stigma Jamaica has of the white woman coming to prey on the black man for whats below their waist, and the black man subsequently preying on the white woman for her money and opportunity is sadly coincidental. The fact is Jamaica is largely a holiday destination and with holidays come romances, sex or whatever fun people like to have. Like many people have already commented it happens all over the world in holiday destinations regardless of race, colour. It just so happens that the majority of Jamaicas population is black and the majority of tourists are white. It really should be seen as objectively as that without using it to represent race issues. Growing up in England everyone holidayed in Spain and had romances with Spanish waiters etc etc. And fun was had by all. Unfortunately with Jamaica it always diverts to the black/white issue.
In response to Johnnys grievances I belive the stigma Jamaica has of the white woman coming to prey on the black man for whats below their waist, and the black man subsequently preying on the white woman for her money and opportunity is sadly coincidental. The fact is Jamaica is largely a holiday destination and with holidays come romances, sex or whatever fun people like to have. Like many people have already commented it happens all over the world in holiday destinations regardless of race, colour. It just so happens that the majority of Jamaicas population is black and the majority of tourists are white. It really should be seen as objectively as that without using it to represent race issues. Growing up in England everyone holidayed in Spain and had romances with Spanish waiters etc etc. And fun was had by all. Unfortunately with Jamaica it always diverts to the black/white issue.
Sad but true. Point well taken.
__________________ "In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)
Okay I honestly HATE the topic of racism, but have noticed something interesting that people do. Thought I'd bump an existing thread to avoid redundancy.
Ash I'm not pinning this on you because my gramma does it, my mother does it, LOTS of people do it. But I've noticed in Ash's last 3 work stories she does it.
When telling a story why do people feel its necessary to mention the RACE of the person in the story, when it has NO bearing on the actual story??? I remember LOOOONG time ago on ETJ I made a comment about a "greasy mexican" dude who was trying to hit on me and I was lamb-basted and practially hated off the planet by ETJ-ers. And Ashley always deals with "crazy asian ladies" when her story would have been the SAME if it was just a "crazy lady".
The only people that have commented on your thread are the ones I believe understand relationships. So far the ones who place cutting remarks on the board have not offered their comments. Maybe this is good, because I feel some people on here cannot have this serious discussion without the cutting barbs. Why can't they enter into a meaningful discussion? I don't know.
I do think it is good to try this thread Johnny127. My fear is that it will progress to what it usually does here on ETJ when we try to talk about racial issues. But I will step back, watch this thread and hope for the best.
I went to Jamaica because I felt that this was the place for me to live. I also went because I had sooo much fun there. I will spare you the details. Then I fell in love with my dear Ted. Seriousness set in and the problems involved in an inter-racial relationship began. He and I don't have the problem, other people do, that is what he says. And I am talking about problems in JA and the US. In the US I have faced the prejudicial eyebrow raising if people see pics of us together. One of the comments, "But he's black". My retort, "What difference does that make?" But I know it makes a difference in what we have to contend with in both countries.
The only time I see the color difference is when someone brings it up to us. In my daily living with him, it is like any other relationship I have experienced before, and that is to love each other, to have words at times (very seldom I might add) to enjoy each other's company and to work together for our future. I notice that he gets nervous when we are out and about in Negril or Mobay. I think he is tensing up in anticipation of someone making remarks to us as they have before, the usual "Renta A Dread" comments. But people are getting used to seeing us together and those are decreasing. Little do they know that I met him through a mutual friend and not on the beach.
What I would like to see is a harmonious board. But really, don't you all think that it isn't that bad on here right now? Some threads get heated but they calm down. I do think we are learning from each other on all aspects of social relationships, be it racial, sexual, gender, etc. Thanks for posting this. I probably haven't given any sage advice, but I feel better about posting some of my views. Peace n nuf luv.
Kudos aagain JM.
Nice input.
__________________ "In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)
Okay I honestly HATE the topic of racism, but have noticed something interesting that people do. Thought I'd bump an existing thread to avoid redundancy.
Ash I'm not pinning this on you because my gramma does it, my mother does it, LOTS of people do it. But I've noticed in Ash's last 3 work stories she does it.
When telling a story why do people feel its necessary to mention the RACE of the person in the story, when it has NO bearing on the actual story??? I remember LOOOONG time ago on ETJ I made a comment about a "greasy mexican" dude who was trying to hit on me and I was lamb-basted and practially hated off the planet by ETJ-ers. And Ashley always deals with "crazy asian ladies" when her story would have been the SAME if it was just a "crazy lady".
WHY do we refer to race when its irrelevant?
I think it depends on how you define "relevance".
I dont think that the mere mention of the race of a person spoken about denotes racial criticism of any sort. The rest of their argument would have to support that for me to accept it as racial connotation.
MAYBE in the mind's eye of the speaker, they believe that in order to cast a more accurate account of their statement, they must emhasize the racial distinction.
__________________ "In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)
I dont think that the mere mention of the race of a person spoken about denotes racial criticism of any sort.
No I don't think so either. I just think its an interesting observation that people must mention it when it really DOESN'T have any relevance.
LOL my gramma's funny....when she's telling a story about maybe someone in the checkout line at the supermarket, she feel the need to let us know that "she was fat but such a sweetheart". And after hearing the rest of the story, we didn't need to know that she was far OR a sweetheart.
Well said Jamaica miss...and I actually think this is a cool thread..if people could handle it.
I think people say they arn't ready to face this issue...or talk about it...because they are unwilling to face the real answers to this question. People look back on centuries of history between different races and focus on that, rather than embracing a new generation and making the effort to come to terms with this issue. If effort is never exerted..results will never appear.
I hate when people use culture as an excuse for racial prejudice. Since the topic of discussion is Jamaica..I will use that, although this is not limited to Jamaicans. I hear people use words like " when people talk about Jamaican men ...or when people talk about Jamaicans"...when really they mean " when people talk about black Jamaican men..or black jamaican women".
I know a white girl here in Canada whose family has been in Jamaica for generations. She is a first generation Canadian...and her parents moved here for work oppurtunities..same as many black Jamaicans. Her white brothers..I bet people wouldn't generalize them the same as Black Jamaican men..on both sides!!
So the issue then becomes not one of " Jamaicans" but of " Black Jamaicans". But there is no difference..other than a black majority.
I also hate being classified as a " white women"...and thus the same as every white women that goes to Jamaica. This exists even on this board. A etj member made fun of my " tourist braids" one of my very first posts on this forum. Which got me thinking. My birthdad is Jamaican/Trinidadian. What if I had not been given up for adoption...and been raised by my birthdads side of the family on the Island...would my braids have been ok then?? Maybe they would have been a way to manage my wild curls in a hot country?? Or is it just because I'm white they matter!!
I hate when people praise Obama...and Martian Luther King..then raise their eyebrows or kiss teeth over a interacial couple. Or when a Jamaican makes fun of a white girl or guy dancing to Jamaican music. Or when a white person thinks it's odd to see a car full of black people listening to ACDC. Why praise their dreams and what they stood for if your not willing to embrace it. If it was so easy for the races to unite...Obama wouldn't be a big deal..and Dr. King wouldn't have had to give a speech!!
Nope your right...I do, do that. I think it's a subconcious thing. Most people point out generalizations. The fact that the bad car driver was asian...or the little chinese man running the store at work....we all do it without realizing it. Some worse than others..aka me and yet I just wrote a post on how much I hated those things.
"In this great future, you can't forget your past. " Bob Marley (1945 - 1981)
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