Would you even consider dating a seperated man/woman?
Seperated in terms of he/she is still married but not yet divorced. Him/Her's wife/husband is not living with them. In fact, they are not living in the same state or country.
Would you even consider dating a seperated man/woman?
Seperated in terms of he/she is still married but not yet divorced. Him/Her's wife/husband is not living with them. In fact, they are not living in the same state or country.
Would you still date them?
Yes, been there done that. Dating someone that is married can be a very risky matter, but also a great experience for some if you like being daring, like adventure and the time for the change of attitudes. The single person role is a lot harder. They must keep their ears , eyes and most of all have an open mind about the situation. Try not to get caught up.
PrincessBlack -- I think you know how I feel about this subject.....but, once again, here is my two-cents worth.....I say go for it!! You are in a situation that I believe is healthy. They no longer live together and "she" lives far away. As long as your eyes are open and the two of you have a plan for the "future" <and HE is able to stick to it> -- you go girl!!
Speaking as a woman that is separated and going through a divorce, I would love to start dating. However, I think it is important for me to respect my marriage until the divorce is final next month. If I met a man that was in the same situation and I was completely single, I don't know if I would feel really comfortable dating him.
I would not do it! Separated to me means that there is a possibility of reconciliation. I had done it and it was extremely difficult. He claimed they were in the process of getting a divorce and I went for it. There were still ties and it kept me from really being able to trust him and put my all into it. I always had doubts. This happened five years ago and we broke up after a little over a year later. Why did I speak to him for the first time in years the other day and found out that they now have a 3 year old daughter together? You do the math!!!
__________________ Saying i love you has nothing to do with doing it. it's easy to say and hard to do.
Separated = Still Married = No dating outside the marriage.
__________________ "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." - Matthew 5 v11 KJV
Been there and still in it. He did get a divorce. Wouldn't do it again.
__________________ Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured, every step of the way....
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Ghandi
"Hate the sin and not the sinner is a precept which though easy enough to understand is rarely practiced, and that is why the poison of hatred spreads in the world." - Ghandi
Would you even consider dating a seperated man/woman?
Seperated in terms of he/she is still married but not yet divorced. Him/Her's wife/husband is not living with them. In fact, they are not living in the same state or country.
Chloee, Bountyx,& Everton I could not have said it better. Just remeber if you do it to someone else, it is meaning to come back on you and sometime worse then you accepted.
I have a sis that did the same ting but, a little different because she babysitted for his children. But before it was all over the day before they were married she found out he had another baby on the way with another women they he claimed he was just friends with.
We as women do things to each that we know for a fact, that we would not want done to us. Specailly if the shoe was on the other foot! Being this matter he is still married for what ever reason so that means he is off limits. until he shows proof, he is still married.
Always remember that men lie and never tells the whole story in this kind of matter. learn why they are getting a divorce, then you would know if you have a future or want one with him. Eventhough, they might not be together now, does not mean that maybe, they just wanted time away from each other to regroup and he is not going to tell you that!
Crystal,
You make it sound like dating a separated person is cheating. There is a huge difference. There are many degrees of separation and there are many reasons for divorce! I think that if the 2 parties in the marriage have decided to go their separate ways and actually DO split up and move apart and DO NOT continue a sexual or intimate relationship, and follow the separation with divorce proceedings, then there is nothing tawdry or evil about either of the 2 dating while they are pursuing the divorce. Remember, this is assuming they have already decided to call the marriage off and not repair it. If there is ANY chance that the 2 will get back together or if there's a glimmer that the separation won't last or that the divorce will not happen, then I would be very wary about getting involved with that person.
I would feel better knowing that the separation was mutually desired and that the 2 had been apart for some time. If it's too new, then all bets are off. I would also not feel good about getting involved if the separation was not amicable -- too messy and volatile a situation in which to develop a new relationship.
In some states, family law is a complex area and the divorce process can take "forever". It would not be fair to expect people to remain alone during a 2 year divorce, would it? Marriage should never be a prison nor should getting out of a marriage condemn a person to a miserable and lonely existence.
Just my nickel's worth...
________________________________
There are spirits all around us - JBB
In some states, family law is a complex area and the divorce process can take "forever". It would not be fair to expect people to remain alone during a 2 year divorce, would it?
It would be fair for them to honour their marriage vows which say "Until death do us part."
It would be unfair to break a commitment made before God and man because you have an itch or feel "lonely".
If they don't want to be alone while they're married, then reconcile with their spouse. If that can't be done, then wait till it is legally and officially over before linking with someone else.
Quote:
Marriage should never be a prison nor should getting out of a marriage condemn a person to a miserable and lonely existence.
Marriage also shouldn't be waived off because "it's not fun anymore" or "it's not convenient anymore" or "I've met somebody new and I've fallen in love with them." People condemn themselves to a lonely miserable existence, not marriage. Marriage is supposed to help them to avoid that very fate.
If you are going to view marriage as something that needs to be gotten out of easily, then you've missed the point of marriage and shouldn't have gotten into it in the first place. It's not supposed to be easy to get out of. - "Till Death Do Us Part".
__________________ "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." - Matthew 5 v11 KJV
You make it sound like dating a separated person is cheating.
That's exactly what it is. Adultery. Breaking the marriage commitment vows. Extra-marital affair.
Quote:
If there is ANY chance that the 2 will get back together or if there's a glimmer that the separation won't last or that the divorce will not happen, then I would be very wary about getting involved with that person.
What objective criteria can you use to evaluate the situation and gain the assurance you need that the marriage is actually over? The husband's word? If he is willing to break his marriage vows (a legally binding contract) to have an affair with you, how do you know his word to you that the marriage is over is true?
__________________ "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." - Matthew 5 v11 KJV
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