I know someone who cares about me deeply. I like to call him my stalker. He's beautiful to look at and was fun to play with. But, in the end, too many things did not add up for me and those that did were all wrong. I moved on. He hasn't. I am comfortable being his friend. Nothing more. I told him if he is comfortable with that, he can call. I still have not gone to see him on subsequent visits. If he starts talking about how he cares about me and blah, blah, blah.......he can stop calling. Caring about someone and being the right person for someone are two very different things. Just, please, take it slow and make sure before you commit to anything. Not saying which way it will work for you in the end cause only you will know that for sure. Just saying if you only go by his words, you will fall for something that may not be the true picture. You need to look at how he acts around you and how he acts around others when you are around. Don't set a bad precendent on how he can treat you. You must be very firm in that. Tell him exactly what you will and will not stand for. If you have to negotiate from there, so be it. But, do not let him walk all over you now.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Ditto, JG - Amen to the choir.....thanks Luckyd for your insight, nice to have a mans point of view

I went to post my advice the other day & the site was giving me problems. I have been extremly busy and unable to read up on ETJ, but I just want to put my 2cents in as I went through a similar dilemna when my husband and I were dating. I was living in Mobay and he in KGN. There was still a distance issue in the begginning and although he had a very good profession, in Jamaica it didn't pay that well. He is a more reserved man than I was used to dealing with. So when it came to money, he was humble and no so flashy and he feared because I was used to a certain lifestyle that he couldn't "afford me" (for lack of better words). Men act ignorant when they are ashamed because they don't want to express themselves fully because of that stupid male ego thing so that send mixed signals for lack of embarassment.

So my advice to you is only time will tell. There must be something between you as you are still together. Being in a relationship of different cultures and distance is hard but if you can get through it your relationship will be an inseperable bond.

anytime LUV4TKT

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What's going on with this Miss?

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Wow, you need to stop with that JG, your scaring me. I was looking for this thread to ask that question.

Just taking it slow. Its hard because I will make an effort to not call and even leave my phone so I can miss his calls instead of seeing him call and not answer. For a minute I decided to give it up more for the fact that LDRs are hard!! But I really care for him and I am taking the time understand him. I see as we talk more he opens up more to me about his wants and fears. Its so easy to forget that the other person is probably wondering how you feel about them just like you wonder how they feel about you. And I have to remember that we started to get close once before and I just cut him off and was out of his life for over a year. So now I am planning my next trip and I cant wait to see him.

Missty . . . so glad to hear that Love perseveres! It's amazing the tug on our hearts these men can have. Must mean something, don't you think???? When we try to let go, they let us know they don't want us to . . . Follow your heart, gurl!!!

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Great minds think alike!

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Just use common sense too. Sometimes they pull you back cause it is just a game to them in the end. Just play it smart.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

So many stories lik ethis all over etj. Missty I really hope it all works out for you in the end. Just remember as others have said when ur heart is telling you something (gut instinct) it is usually right. Pay attention and dont bury ur head in the sand to hear only what u want to hear. I agree on the no drive 2 see his mother that is weak in Jamdown if smaddy is heading that way with a pick up truck ya'll cud hop in the back an reach in Jamaica there is always a way. But still I think you guys will work out, are you still wanting to move down to Jamaica, he is being honest with you it is not easy none at all!! He is right!! It is very very difficil. U see a beautiful island u wouldnt mind living, but when hardships kick in Jamaica is very different. If you dont know where ur gonna get money from for the next food for a day life can become very miserable, my man knows what he's talking about. You need to have a stable money coming in to survive in Jamaica trust me or you'll find yourself back on a plane to where you came down from. Im not being 2 harsh just being real. I hope u get to live there sumday but do ur research. Luv and blessings 4 u and we r here if u wanna talk, well i am here at least. *wink* so anytime ok? PEACE.

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I agree with everything Chyna said. I know how hard it can be there. There were many times we had absolutly no $$ and were eating fruit from the trees in our yard. Even though we ran a taxi, maintenace for the vehile, tires, petrol all that to run it was hard, especially if thats your only income like it was ours. It had to pay rent, bills, food, etc.

Take it slow my girl, extended trips help if its possible, to see what is what.

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SNAP Damswell!! Thats the exact same problem we had, taxi running and the car eats up all the money trust me. And what about those who dont even have a taxi? My mum had to try work other jobs becuz a taxi is just not enough. So as you can see sum ppl would say we had it alright to have a taxi running, that is not the reality you face hardships same way....

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Yep, glad you know what Im talking about Chyna. Its not as it always appears.

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That is exactly what we who have been behind the scenes in JA are trying to warn some of the newbies about, right?

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...