wow, jilly, sorry tht it didnt work out for you, but beleive me, it was a blessing that u were denied.
See how he found some other girl? He may have had many other girls that he was persuing at the same time as you. Thats part of the plan. Try nuff girls and the firstone that files for me, wins.
Again, dont worry, u will find some one who will treat u in the way u deserve to be treated.
best of luck in your endeavors.

Jomo girl, I just read your report.
Congrats, and good luck to you and yours.

Thanks RDB....It took me a while to believe that, but today I truly do know it was a blessing! I know he was on his best behavior and made sure I felt like his one and only when I would make it down there. It's funny you suggested to "drop in un-announced"....because I had said that one time I would surprise him and he would say, "na sir, mi no like surprises." At the time I laughed it off, but today I wish I did before I spent the money on the visa, the phone calls, the visits and everything else that goes along with it.

But like I said, I hold no grudges against the one "bad one" and still find those Jamaican men so damn attractive. I know my guy is out there somewhere. I just don't think I will find him on a tropical island while on vacation the next time around.

tried the palm tree. wasnt authentic enough. wish I knew abot the other restuarnat.

I read your advice, RDB, and I understand where you are coming from. But, here's my story:

I have known Jomo for quite a while now. I did meet him on vacation. And, I was with another guy at the time. We became friends and for months traded phone calls. The first time I spent the night with him, it was because my "boyfriend" beat the crap out of me and I had to call the police. Jomo held me all night and we just talked. No sex. Up until that time, there was no profession of love and all that crap. We were friends. A few months after that incident, and after the prodding of another friend, I finally came to JA just to see him. I have since been to Jamaica once a month for over a year, staying at least a week (sometimes 2) each time, and always staying with him and his family. I have been out and about in the community, town, with his co-workers, friends, family. I have been to funerals, wakes, parties, etc. Everyone knows me.

Since our relationship started, we have talked extensively on the phone. Hours per day. Morning, my lunchtime, after work, his lunch break, free minutes at work, after work, etc. Whenever one of us needs to talk, we call and those calls are ALWAYS taken. If one of us goes out, we call before and after (no matter what the hour is) and if we need to call during, it is fine. He calls, I call.....we share the bills. I am pretty sure we have discussed everything.

This man has endured being kicked out of his house at age 11 and living in a tent for 4 months. He's been abused. He's never met his father. His mother is pretty much crazy. His sister is definately crazy. Two of his sisters died at young ages and left behind their children. He has helped support the family all his life. He has endured more difficulties then I could ever imagine. Yet, he is hardworking, kind, and gentle, and more like me then anyone I have ever met. Where we are different, we are complimentary.

He has never asked me for money. Whenever we have needed money for things, he has volunteered for extra shifts, the busiest spots at work, he's cut down on expenses. During this visa process, he's gone to having his friends over, rather then them going out at all, just to save money.

Marriage and the visa were a natural progression in this relationship. And, we discussed what would happen if the visa did not go through..........Plan B was that I would move to Jamaica to be with him. There was never any doubt. You see, it doesn't matter which country, just being together.

This relationship is all about being crazy about each other, deeply in love, and wanting to be together.

I know there are Jamaicans out there taking advantage of the vacation situation. I even know some who do that. And, I have spoken to and even met some of their American/Canadian girlfriends. That is their business. "I pity the fools" who actually fall for it. Jomo knew from the very beginning that I will/would not tolerate it. Disease, pregnancy, and the pain of heartbreak from cheating are just some of the downfalls. We talked from the very beginning and agreed if the other ever cheats, we walk away. I have never had any doubts.

Not all relationships with Jamaican men are mockeries or shams or whatever you want to call them. It is okay to warn people; but please stop generalizing about ALL Jamaican men. I know a lot of them who are hardworking, decent, dependable, and honest. Please stop stereotyping all of thim.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Jomo's Girl....I don't believe you need to explain your story to anyone and for that matter everyone. You need to follow your heart and believe in yourself and him. While RDB along with myself (and along with probably others) has voiced our opinions, do what you want to do. Thats all they are, "opinions". But keep in mind, when you post on an open forum such as this, your not always going to get everyone to side with you and not voice their thoughts. RDB did say that their are good hard working, dependable, loyal ones out there and so did I. She is not stereotyping all of them as you suggest. You said in a previous thread that I was being cynical...I think you are getting a little defensive. Sounds like we are not the only ones saying things to you. DONT listen to them. Believe me, if any one knows...its me. I heard it from EVERYONE. Family, friends, co-workers and not to mention....people down there and up here that we're from Jamaica. It's your life....no need to defend it.

No, actually, you are the only one's saying things to me. My family and friends trust my instincts, my intelligence, and have also had numerous contacts with Jomo. They know him and believe in us. There are no doubts on this end.

By posting this, I am only proving at least one case of a good man in Jamaica. I want to show those who are in doubt that you can meet someone on vacation, proceed cautiously, and have a relationship, just as if you were living near each other. It takes a lot more work, and a whole lot more communication; but can be done. I cannot speak for everyone; but I can speak as to what I know. Not everyone has hidden agendas. It is not only this post that I am answering......read many of RDB's posts all over this board and you will see a similar theme. RDB is generalizing quite a bit. Maybe I am defensive here; but like other threads have stated, sometimes we do get defensive about the things we love. I am overly excitable sometimes. Jilly, you have been wronged and I do value your advice cause you have been there and done that. Yours are more of a be careful type of advice.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

sorry to hear bout that butt whipping u got from your last boyfriend. and sorry that u think we are sterotyping jamaican men. and for the record, this is our men, we can sterotype them any which way we please, why - cus we know them and their age ole ways of trying to get to america, england, poland, and anyway outta jamaica. Sorry, but we haffe see it, and call it soh.
Even doe u marrying a jamaican man, u still dont have dat privilege of telling us about our men and them schemes.
one ting me a go talk bout wha u seh, and that is concerning my theme, in this thread as in other thread regarding relationships with jamaican men will always be the same. Its not gonna change. Many will try to tell u the about the antics of these men. tek it or leave it, its your call, but at least we tried to warn the unsuspecting foreigner. If a even one. if a even ONE..

On another note, your story was heartwrenching to say the least. that nite of abuse, must have been hard for you . I dont agree with hitting, I only agree if the woman hits back and kick back and punch out the dudes lites. Women must learn how fe fight back and stop being a victim!


all fun aside,
I just hope doe, that JOMO will be all that u hope he will be and that his mind is on the right track, and his heart is filled with honest integrity.
Again, I say, good luck to u and yours in your upcoming marriage, and that we as jamaicans - myself in particular - wish u all the best in this relationship.
(I have to speak for the others who a sit and nay seh nutten, cus a soh some of dem tan. Dem have the same beleifs as me, but dem a stand by pon de verandah a drink dem Milo and just a watch)

Again, all the best in this new founded relationship of yours

I still say you don't know them all and are generalizing. And that is wrong.

But, today, I also say thanks for your kind words.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Back to the original thread:

Jomo got the call Friday. The visa was delivered by courier to the Airport for pick up. It's all done. We're ready to roll. FINALLY!!!! Total time: January 24th (file day) to June 12th (visa in hand).

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Well guys, I am down to just minutes before I leave work today.

I'm off to the airport very early in the a.m. and touch down in JA in the early afternoon tomorrow. Hope I can calm down enough to sleep tonight. Bring him home Thursday (so damn early---who made these reservations????).

Wish me luck.

I'm sure I will be back on here Friday posting my happiness and smiling from ear to ear.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Have a safe trip JG!! If I were you, I wouldn't be posting up here for a while--I'd be too busy loving on my man!!! But anyway, let us know how he likes "The Lou!"

I gotta go to work too. That's when I post here.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

wooohooooo jomo! i know wednesday night in the jomo household is gonna be pretty wild eh?

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!

That was one short crazy trip. After making sure we had everything (or so we thought!) We had about 15 of the guys over Wednesday night. We got totally bombed, played dominos, ran foot races, played futbol, and talked till my throat hurt. Yah, it was a total guy-bonding night. Luckily, I can keep up. We took what seemed like hundreds of pictures and I will post some in the near future. I was fine until Jomo said goodbye to the gal who plucked him off the streets when he as a kid and he teared up. And, When I said goodbye to his friend, Richard, who is the one who pretty much talked me into seeing Jomo in the first place. I couldn't stop hugging him and crying.

The taxi driver, who we told to pick us up at 5:15 a.m., was there at 4:30, when I stumbled out of Jomo's room. He had gotten up to wash the taxi and wanted to make sure he wasn't late. (How non-Jamaican is that????) We woke all the kids up and mummy and cried our ways through goodbyes.

The airport was pretty uneventful. Wierd to actually have him come through the bowels of Sangster with me. He took takeoff pretty well and we even got to see all the kids waving at us from the plane window from their house.

Miami is another story. Immigration was a snap for him......picture, stamp passport, fingerprint. So fast that I question why they didn't take his "don't open till the airport paperwork". A customs agent refers us back to Immigration and, lo and behold, they were supposed to take the paperwork and if they hadn't we would've had major problems later. Thank God I asked. After a good a$$chewing to the agent who let us through (sorry dude!) We head to an office to have them process the paperwork. It took just a few minutes and we are on our way. Only snafu is that they kept his original birth certificate and we now have to have mummy fedex us the one I told him to grab before we left JA.

Go, to get on the plane from Miami to St. Louis and find out the seat I am assigned is no longer available and I am sitting 18 rows in front of him. As my head is about to blow off my neck, I calmly (through clenched teeth!) explain that I need to sit with him. She puts us both in the same row, on different sides of the aisle. I beg and plead with 3 different a$$holes to scoot over one seat, before I finally find one who will, but it isn't the window I originally had. The 4th guy agrees to move from the window just as we get over St. Louis so Jomo can see it from the air. Jomo watches his first airplane movie and tries to talk to me with headphones on. The whole plane can hear him, I am sure. And, he's laughing so hard (Fun with Dick & Jane). I decide I better sleep just to keep him from talking.

My crazy friend, Debi, meets us at the airport with balloons, a sign, and a cowboy hat WAY too small for Jomo's head. She wanted him to look like Trivett on Walker, Texas Ranger. He looked absolutely ridiculous; but humored her anyhow. Went to visit my even crazier cousin, Sue on the way home, and she hugged him so hard he said he thought he was going to break and did this happy dance that made Jomo ask if she drinks her lunch! We toured downtown St. Louis a little, seeing the Arch, Busch Stadium (JC, I can take a picture of it for you and mail it to you!), the Kiel Center (soccer), The Edward Jones Dome (football), our projects, and some neighborhoods on the way home.

At home, we toured the house and pretty much crashed from exhaustion.

This morning, I woke to him cooking breakfast and serving it to me in bed. It was too sweet. I left him doing laundry and organizing cleaning products under my kitchen sink, for some reason.

Tonight we are going to do some grocery shopping and try and track down some plantain. Tomorrow, we are going to 6 flags for his first roller coaster ride.

It's almost surreal.....like pinch me, I must be dreaming.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...