Originally Posted by Jomo's girl

Jomo just called................HE HAS A VISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. You cannot imagine how happy I am. Crying, smiling, laughing!!!!

That's all I know for now. Not sure what happened during the interview. He had to borrow someone's phone to call me cause his friends have his and they are over at the police station getting police reports.

Originally Posted by incognito13

When it comes to relationships, and especially serious relationships, I think that you are always taking a chance that things will be right between the two of you. It doesn't matter if you're both American, or you are a couple from different areas, it's still a risk. Please don't think that anyone up here who is currently involved in a long distance relationship (with a Jamaican man or otherwise), hasn't asked themselves a million times, "What if he isn't sincere?" "Will this last?" Its peoples actions and faith that help weed out the good from the bad. Trust me, I know several women that are American that married American men, and they can't really trust their husbands as far as they can see them. And NO, that is not how their relationship began. In each of these cases, they dated for 5 years or more before getting married. They wanted to make sure that the man they had chosen to dedicate themselves to was the "right man". After the marriage however, as oftentimes can happen, things changed,and in some respects their significant others didn't live up to what they thought they would. So you see, women have to be careful EVERYDAY. Whether they are dating a Jamaican, or anyone else. I agree that women shouldn't ignore the "warning signs" in their men, simply because they're infatuated with the idea of being with someone that might be considered "exotic" or different, and many times, this is what some women get caught up in. It happened to 2 of my friends. I think they were so enticed by the idea of dating their Jamaican boyfriends that they overlooked a lot of signs that their men might not be all that sincere (i.e. not taking the time to call, making them call all of the time, not spending a whole lot of time w/ them when they are together, not taking the time to talk about real issues and learning about each other, etc. etc.etc.) My friends and I would talk about these discrepancies and I often asked them were they happy with the direction their relationship was going in, etc. After a while, and in one instance, after having been caught in a significant lie, they each came to the realization that no, these men were not sincere. Did this make me worried? OF COURSE!! After all, I am in love with a man from Jamaica. But he is not them. They do not act the same, do not have the same goals and visions, do not express themselves the same, nothing. The only thing that he has in common with them is that they are all Jamaican. I still tread this course lightly, but at the same time, I am not going to close what could potentially be the best relationship of my life, simply because there's a chance that he could be lying. He's paying his own way to get here, and when he's here, all we both can do is hope for the best. I pray to God everyday that this works out, but if it doesn't it has definitely been an experience that I would not trade for anything. I know that you have seen a lot being a Jamaican, and I truly appreciate your candor and warnings, but sometimes you just have to "Step out on faith". That's my 2 cents for now...hopefully we can share our thoughts and experiences again soon!!
P.S. Sending for someone after only knowing them for a week---LUDICROUS!

Originally Posted by jamerican gal

Hey, would just like to put my 2 cents in.......
I agree Incognito13, I dated a man in the States for years and all he did was lie & cheat. I finally left his sorry butt then started traveling to Jamaica for vacations. I met a great guy there. I'd say we dated for a yr or so long distance then we started the paper work to get him here. I'd have to say filing the paper work actually went "really" quickly. We'd done the fiance visa. Once he arrived in the states, I really didn't have the same feelings of love for him as I did when I'd travel to see him. Think I was the one caught up in the vacation fantasy. Anyway to make a long story short, I still married him anyway thinking to myself I'd eventually fall in love with him but I didn't. He on the other hand was in love with me. After being married for 2 1/2 yrs & seperated 1 1/2 of the 2 1/2 yrs, I filed for divorce last 2/05 and it was finalized 10/05. We are still friends and he still resides here in the states. I'm currently dating another Jamaican guy and we've been doing the long distance thing for a little over a yr. I've been down numerous amts of times and stayed for pretty long periods. This time I'm taking things slow and wanna get to fully know my man on his turf. I love Jamaica and always wanted to move there since I 1st started traveling there. I will be staying with him when I semi move there in Oct of this yr and hope everything works out but if it doesn't I'll still semi remain on the island and move on with my life. I'm going down cause I love it there and want our realationship to flourish but at the same time will be purchasing investment property. I have goals for myself and so does he. Guess what I'm trying to say is, it isn't always the Jamaican guy who isn't true, sometimes the American woman is the one at fault. Good luck at your interview and I hope you guys relationship continues to grow positively.

Originally Posted by Jomo's girl

I13, You said exactly what I have been thinking. While what you say may be true is some situations RDB, I agre with I13. I am a grown woman who has no problems getting dates in the US. I am not in love with my Jamaican man because he is "exotic" or a fantasy or any other odd reason. And, I certainly do not think his surroundings are perfect or exotic or even my perfect fantasy land. I met this man and we became friends that developed into something else. There was no rushing or heavyhandedness or anything else on either part. We argue, fuss, and fight just like any other couple. And, if anything, we communicate better then any other couple I know because we are forced to at this point.

I agree that there are those con artists out there (and shame on your relative for using that woman!). But, there are also honest and loving relationships that develop as well. You have to meet someone somewhere and some of ours just happens to be Jamaica. Would a relationship be guarenteed lifelong if it was because you grew up with the man next door? Or your high school boyfriend? Etc? Life & love is a crapshoot. You win some. You lose some. But like I13, this is one experience I thank God for every day.

I know that you are just trying to pass on a warning. But, I have to tell you....it irks me sometimes. I feel like sometimes all Jamaican men are portrayed in a negative light and this only perpetuates the rumors. People are people everywhere and you have to be careful in all situations.