Are you thinking......sorry I asked the initial thread question yet?

It always cracks me up to hear people say oh, I going to apply for a visa. Who knew all the work, huh?

__________________
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive

bwoy, me sorry, but most of us as jamaicans feel happy dat unno find true love, and we sincerely hope that it is indeed true love.
Lots of guys wait for u girls in the tourist area and worse if dem work there in the hotels, with words for love, because they want to get outta of jamaica and hopefully find some girl who will bring them up.
Unfortuantely for u girls, some of u will fall for it and think that its one hundred percent sincere, and all that and send for the guy.
I just had a cousin who did that last summer, and the girl is from Texas (older dan him by the way by about 10 years) and the girl send for him and marry him within a week.
We as the family know that it isnt true love, cus he has told us this, but sorry to say the girl dont know that. I didnt go to the wedding cus I dont approve of such deceit. family or no family.

I do have to say though, that some of these marriages will work out, but most wont. for those who have undergone the steps to take up a man that u met on vacation, and who has professed his undying love for you and u have known the guy only thru this vacation, but of course, thru phone conv and visits, its been a year or couple of years - good luck to you.
I have just seen this too often (this has been going on for ions of years from me likkle bit) and its the same scenerio. I just hope these guys work their tails off for you, and do their part, once they get their papers, and best of all stay faithful to the you and the relationship.
Again, the best of everything to all of you who have dune this, cus I dont think as a jamaican woman I would do this myself, but again, best of luck to all of u and I truly mean this.

When it comes to relationships, and especially serious relationships, I think that you are always taking a chance that things will be right between the two of you. It doesn't matter if you're both American, or you are a couple from different areas, it's still a risk. Please don't think that anyone up here who is currently involved in a long distance relationship (with a Jamaican man or otherwise), hasn't asked themselves a million times, "What if he isn't sincere?" "Will this last?" Its peoples actions and faith that help weed out the good from the bad. Trust me, I know several women that are American that married American men, and they can't really trust their husbands as far as they can see them. And NO, that is not how their relationship began. In each of these cases, they dated for 5 years or more before getting married. They wanted to make sure that the man they had chosen to dedicate themselves to was the "right man". After the marriage however, as oftentimes can happen, things changed,and in some respects their significant others didn't live up to what they thought they would. So you see, women have to be careful EVERYDAY. Whether they are dating a Jamaican, or anyone else. I agree that women shouldn't ignore the "warning signs" in their men, simply because they're infatuated with the idea of being with someone that might be considered "exotic" or different, and many times, this is what some women get caught up in. It happened to 2 of my friends. I think they were so enticed by the idea of dating their Jamaican boyfriends that they overlooked a lot of signs that their men might not be all that sincere (i.e. not taking the time to call, making them call all of the time, not spending a whole lot of time w/ them when they are together, not taking the time to talk about real issues and learning about each other, etc. etc.etc.) My friends and I would talk about these discrepancies and I often asked them were they happy with the direction their relationship was going in, etc. After a while, and in one instance, after having been caught in a significant lie, they each came to the realization that no, these men were not sincere. Did this make me worried? OF COURSE!! After all, I am in love with a man from Jamaica. But he is not them. They do not act the same, do not have the same goals and visions, do not express themselves the same, nothing. The only thing that he has in common with them is that they are all Jamaican. I still tread this course lightly, but at the same time, I am not going to close what could potentially be the best relationship of my life, simply because there's a chance that he could be lying. He's paying his own way to get here, and when he's here, all we both can do is hope for the best. I pray to God everyday that this works out, but if it doesn't it has definitely been an experience that I would not trade for anything. I know that you have seen a lot being a Jamaican, and I truly appreciate your candor and warnings, but sometimes you just have to "Step out on faith". That's my 2 cents for now...hopefully we can share our thoughts and experiences again soon!!
P.S. Sending for someone after only knowing them for a week---LUDICROUS!

Hey, would just like to put my 2 cents in.......
I agree Incognito13, I dated a man in the States for years and all he did was lie & cheat. I finally left his sorry butt then started traveling to Jamaica for vacations. I met a great guy there. I'd say we dated for a yr or so long distance then we started the paper work to get him here. I'd have to say filing the paper work actually went "really" quickly. We'd done the fiance visa. Once he arrived in the states, I really didn't have the same feelings of love for him as I did when I'd travel to see him. Think I was the one caught up in the vacation fantasy. Anyway to make a long story short, I still married him anyway thinking to myself I'd eventually fall in love with him but I didn't. He on the other hand was in love with me. After being married for 2 1/2 yrs & seperated 1 1/2 of the 2 1/2 yrs, I filed for divorce last 2/05 and it was finalized 10/05. We are still friends and he still resides here in the states. I'm currently dating another Jamaican guy and we've been doing the long distance thing for a little over a yr. I've been down numerous amts of times and stayed for pretty long periods. This time I'm taking things slow and wanna get to fully know my man on his turf. I love Jamaica and always wanted to move there since I 1st started traveling there. I will be staying with him when I semi move there in Oct of this yr and hope everything works out but if it doesn't I'll still semi remain on the island and move on with my life. I'm going down cause I love it there and want our realationship to flourish but at the same time will be purchasing investment property. I have goals for myself and so does he. Guess what I'm trying to say is, it isn't always the Jamaican guy who isn't true, sometimes the American woman is the one at fault. Good luck at your interview and I hope you guys relationship continues to grow positively.

I13, You said exactly what I have been thinking. While what you say may be true is some situations RDB, I agre with I13. I am a grown woman who has no problems getting dates in the US. I am not in love with my Jamaican man because he is "exotic" or a fantasy or any other odd reason. And, I certainly do not think his surroundings are perfect or exotic or even my perfect fantasy land. I met this man and we became friends that developed into something else. There was no rushing or heavyhandedness or anything else on either part. We argue, fuss, and fight just like any other couple. And, if anything, we communicate better then any other couple I know because we are forced to at this point.

I agree that there are those con artists out there (and shame on your relative for using that woman!). But, there are also honest and loving relationships that develop as well. You have to meet someone somewhere and some of ours just happens to be Jamaica. Would a relationship be guarenteed lifelong if it was because you grew up with the man next door? Or your high school boyfriend? Etc? Life & love is a crapshoot. You win some. You lose some. But like I13, this is one experience I thank God for every day.

I know that you are just trying to pass on a warning. But, I have to tell you....it irks me sometimes. I feel like sometimes all Jamaican men are portrayed in a negative light and this only perpetuates the rumors. People are people everywhere and you have to be careful in all situations.

__________________
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive

While I too was in a JA/US relationship, filed for the visa (however ended up being denied) I too was being asked repeatedly, "are you sure??"..."what if??"...and flat out..."girl don't do it". But I followed my heart and gave it my all. I was even told by a few Jamaican women either here in the US and/or in Canadian..."Girl I love my Jamaican brothers...but don't do it". I still followed my heart. In the end, the denial was a blessing in disguise. Since our denial, I was still pursued by him but was asking myself can I really do this for another 3 years?? And what if he was yet again denied. So, we kept talking and I would visit but I always had my guard up. And sure enough...in a long round-about way, it was brought to my attention he was also pursuing at least one additional U.S. woman. I am not naive in thinking I was the only one during our relationship...but it was how he continued to flat our deny, lie and say I was his "one and only Princess". Since this additional information has been brought to my attention, more and more Jamaican people (men & women) have said....you we're truly being watched over when he got denied. I now believe this in all my heart. I still love those Jamaican men. Hold no grudges against them. And would still yet again date one. I just don't think I would file for one. Like Red-De-Buggie says..."good luck to you all". I think she may be just like watching out for us like my fellow U.S. and Canadian Jamaican sisters when she says it.

I'm sorry it worked out that way for you, Jilly.

You told me your story. Maybe he really sabatouged himself.

__________________
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive

Or maybe he ended up being like what the other Jamaicans (U.S. & Canadian Jamaicans alike) have warned us all about all along.

Maybe.

Such a cynical attitude, though.

Haven't you ever been warned about men in the U.S? Or Canada? or wherever?

Everywhere: Men are men are men are.......................

__________________
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive

You sound just like I did over a year ago. LOL. It's sweet.

I agree...some work out, some dont regardless where they come from. I think all we're trying to say...is be careful. I am not trying to discourage anyone. I just now agree with what they all were saying all along. In my case, it was true. Best of luck to all of you on this journey.

Jomo just called................HE HAS A VISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. You cannot imagine how happy I am. Crying, smiling, laughing!!!!

That's all I know for now. Not sure what happened during the interview. He had to borrow someone's phone to call me cause his friends have his and they are over at the police station getting police reports.

__________________
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive

Didn't tell you guys the car fiasco story. 4 p.m. yesterday Jomo calls me to tell me the car they had planned on using was still out on rental. He and his friends ran around like idiots trying to find another. I was a nervous wreck and actually threw up after hearing the news (see, JC, told you!). Luckily, they found another and Jomo's friends kept him on track enough to get home from work on time, get going, and make it to the embassy early this morning.

So, here's the scoop:

Entire thing took an hour and 1/2

Went thru security
Went to one window to turn in paperwork
Called back to that window and asked if either of us married

Called to another window for interview:
Asked:
How & when we met.
How often I have visited. (and if my monthly visits were hard on me)
How old I was. How old he was.
If I was ever married (looked at divorce decree). If he was ever married.
If I had kids. Their names & ages. If he was ready to be a dad.
Where I worked.
What he planned to do in the U.S.

That was it. We had studied something like 100 possible questions for those few.

He was asked if he had any pictures and quizzed about where we were and who else was in them. Jomo asked if the guy wanted to see the scrapbook I had made him or any cards I had sent; but after looking at just a few of the hundreds of pictures he had with him, the guy said he had seen enough proof for him.

He had his electronic fingerprints taken. No eye scan.

He told him Good luck to you in the U.S. and sent him on his way.

Best of all, they did not take any other fees from him at all. He actually left there with over $400 we thought it was going to cost. Not sure what happened there; but am very happy with it.

Jomo went down to the courier office to pay for the delivery of the visa. $40. They told him 3-5 business days for delivery.

So, there we go. Pretty much 5 months of total paperwork hell all came crashing down into one happy heap this morning. I can't stop crying, smiling, and talking about it right now.

WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait to go get him next week.

Thanks for all your words of encouragement and prayers, guys. I needed them and I truly appreciate all of you.

__________________
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive

jomo! i am so happy for both of you. i bet you'll still be giddy and smiling ear to ear when jc and i come see you on friday. all your hard work paid off.

I bet I will, Tia. Plus, I'll save big smiles for you, JC, and whomever else tags along.

Honestly, I thought it would never end and could there possibly be any more obstacles in our way.

So, tell me what you guys want to do Friday. We are pretty open after work. Do you want to go early, like dinner, and then out? Or just out on the town? Or out later? or what? Open to suggestions. I live about 15 mins. from downtown and Kathy is right by me so we can be there in a pinch. Luckily, no baseball game or that would be hell on traffic.

__________________
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

We dreamers have our ways
Of facing rainy days
And somehow we survive