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I don't know much... but I know I luv you...
& that may be all I need to know!

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GG I'm so sorry this is a difficult time for you right now.I'm praying for you.
To everyone else involved in this "debate"..seriously,I didnt know LadyH,but shouldnt her death be making us realize how short life is????And you're sitting here arguing....GROW UP.

Thank you, Teach.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

No problem......

I agree with what you are saying kennjai...kind of. I can see how it would seem like many can't admit that it happens. But I think it's not so much that people can't admit it, but that they may get tired of addressing it???

Only speaking for myself here - but sometimes I get annoyed when people point out the possibility not because I can't admit it, but because I already know the possibility exists. The idea that he could be using me isn't a novel concept and sometimes I just feel like a broken record (not on ETJ, but in general), so I get annoyed. It's kind of like, every time you tell someone you are dating a Jamaican they say something about him using you. Rarely, if ever, does anyone say "wow you're dating a Jamaican - I hear they are really family-oriented...that will be great when you are ready to start a family" or something equally as positive (even if it is just a stereotype). For me the negativity just gets tiring is all...

But I definitely agree with you that bringing someone here on a fiance visa opens up the possibility to be used. The only other visas I personally know of are work visas, tourist visas, and student visas...oh yeah and those for spouses/children - which are all pretty hard to come by...

got nothing much more to add on the subject matter. this has been debated well already in my absence. however ive got things to say regarding certain posts and comments about people on here.

firstly as my name was bunched in with others about ldr's i'd like to make it clear that i am not in an ldr nor have i been in ANY relationship for 8 months - so plz dont anyone put me in any pre-conceived box.

also with reference to my post - i said Kenjai's statement was rubbish not to diss her experiences but because it just didnt make logical sense. but as she explained - its wot happens where she lives so thats her reality. i could also have said MEN hit on me behind their WOMEN's back. black/white makes no difference, men are men. however obviously it does make a difference to some. thats ok, its your life.

oh one more thing. i am purely entertained by etj too. its funny in many ways. i LOVE the debates. after all why would anyone be in a forum if they didnt want to debate issues. so plz Lady Rasta keep going, i hope you never get banned again (samba must really like you ) cos your not the only one entertained. im particularly entertained by people who only come in on threads when their buddies are there so they can high-five and back-slap each other and laugh with each other in 'real life' about how 'sensitive' people are. how come one of your buds has suddenly turned up out of the blue - can you not stand alone? in fact 'Lady' Rasta you are one of the biggest jokes on the board and the most transparent. when are you gonna realise that arguing with you isnt the definition for sensitive? LOLOL you keep doing your thing and i'll keep being 'sensitive'. Cheers!

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Hmmm I feel like I don't agree with this but it's hard for me to express why...

Maybe cause I'm an "oreo"? I've had many black guys tell me I "act white" - whatever that means... I'm assuming a girl can be an oreo too...?

Maybe I'm one of those coffee-colored oreos, since I'm more yellow than brown...

Okay...I'm policing myself now:

glad you were honest enough to say that TB. personally i find all that stuff is superficial, but i understand to some it runs deeper.

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I don't think I can say it better then TB or LS just did at this point.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

I agree (about the superficial part) - this was the first time I had heard the term oreo. I was being more silly than anything else when I posted that cause it seemed kind of ridiculous to me...

Sometimes the only response to a silly statement is something equally as silly...

[quote=NYCgirl;480900]I was just lurking on this cause it so hard for me to jump in here in topics being that I am not on here most of the time and you all seem to know each other. Well I noticed this statement by Kennjai. I thought some of it made alot of sense. I do believe that many Black men that date White woman would not be the type of man most Black woman would date. It doesnt mean that he is throw away it just means that he may not have the same style or swagger that Black woman look for. This is not always the case. Especially for a Black guy that is not very serious with the White woman that he is dating. He does not have to be a sell out...thats pretty racist to say. Its just that his style is different. His preferences are different. I myself can spot a Black guy who's preference would be White woman versus Black woman a mile away. I cant explain it but there's alot of ladies who know what I mean.

well on this subject i can tell you that I have had some experience with Black men who love to date and sleep with white gyals, but when it comes to marrying, settling down they will choose a sister....and I can tell the difference right away usually so its not to hard to beleive that statement. We all send out signals for our preferences...thats how we attract what we prefer.

......me dat.

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"I'm not sayin I'm gonna rule the world, or I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world." Tupac Shakur RIP