you have your thoughts and i have mine
but even on here I see some of you all swoon over someone I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, but that'sjust me andmy crew
you also have to consider i am in the us and maybe just maybe this differs from country to country

and i also stated that there were exceptions, so so called rubbish it is not cause i for one could care less if you are f*cking a green space man, even less a jamiacan or black man, and I am definitely a BLACK WOMAN

and I never said that, there you go assuming
i just said that most black women are not interested in black guys that white women date
I never said they are our throw aways, you came up with that all on your own

hey jomo's girl, nice to stop by and give my thoughts
hope you are enjoying life as well

[quote=kennjai;480858][color=black][font=Verdana]word to the wise---majority of the time when a white woman is with a black man, it is NOT a black man a black women would even CONSIDER dating (not all now, I said most) so bitter and jealous they are not (there are always exceptions)

Can you please explain this statement a little better.
Lets say for example, no one knew a certain man's preference for race (or maybe he had no preference, but dated black and whites). Meaning, no one has ever seen the man with a white woman. What characteristics about him would make him not interesting to a black woman? What personality traits makes him unattractive to his own race? OR......is it only when it is KNOWN that he dates White women that he is suddenly undesirable? And if that's the case, then why? a sell out?

you guys only hear what you want to hear

I never said no black women are jealous, I said there are exceptions to every rule, but come around my neck of the woods and you will get an entirely diffferent view of it
thats why I said people are giving their thoughts based on their experience in their neck of the woods, your experience would be different from mine, so why knock my oppinion when it's based on MY life experiences or some elses life experiences

like i said you guys are gonna believe what yoy want when you are personally in that situation cause it's human nature to get defensive when you feel someone is talking about you or judging even when they aren't

why not look at it from the other persepctive--you guys make it seem like being used for a visaa doesn't happen when we all know it does, first hand here on ETj ,and thats why you guys sometimes egt the comments you get
because you act liek your sitaution could never be that, but i bet those involved in a situation thought that way until it happened to them,

stop acting like the bull sh*t doesn't happen and we live in a perfect work cause WE ALL DON'T
and think that is where the nasty comments come from
one would hope they aren't in that situation, but hey love is a gamble and sometimes you loss, sometimes you hit the jackpot

Respect, Kennjai.

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Never said that it doesn't happen - But anyone in the LDR situation hopes that that is not the reason, and to be put down simply for being in the situation and being automatically told that you are being used for a green card is frustrating - Or seeing someone who has been through the battle, married her love, been happily married and living in the US for over two years have to be knocked endlessly or put in a position to defend her relationship is straight BS -

I have seen people be used for the visa (not only Jamaican), I have seen people have successful relationships - I have friends that have moved here from other countries to be with the ones that they love, I have had friends move to other countries for the same reasons. I am not, nor have I ever, said that it doesn't happen - sadly, it does and all too often - it's f'ed up that people can fall in love and even have to go to the trouble of the visa process to be together, f'd up that people from certain countries (such as JA) can't travel to the US for vacations yet US citizens complained that they actually had to get a passport to go there - There are a lot of things I disagree with about the whole process -

No disrespect meant to you kennjai - But my rant was against the constant negative assumption that ANY time love crosses a border, it isn't love it's a green card - Love is a gamble no matter where you find it - I can be hurt just as easily by falling in love with the man next door (and have been).

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[quote=NYCgirl;480900]still looking for an answer on this.....

On the visa thing....HELL YES it happens....all the time. No one said it doesn't.

hey lilly

hope you are doing good and life is treating you great

hear hear....

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no one is putting you down, but like i said you guys practically try to shove it down peoples throat that your relationships are all so perfect and that being used is the not common in that culture, in any culture when ones are trying to flee for a better life, it isn;t jamaicans, do you know how many people i know that are married to africans right now just for visa purposes, they difference is they went in knowing they were being used, alot of times people are kist giving a WARNING about being used or maybe a reminder and then the onesin the LDR get offended

all women, even ones not in LDr relationships hope their partners are true and they are not being used but it happens every second of every day, so just stop making it seemlike it doesn't
i am TELLINg you this is where the comments come from cause it makeit seems it can NEVEr happen to you when we all know, eben you, that it can

liek I said it's a gamble you are rolling the dice and hoping to win, thats the chance you take when you put yourself out there to love


thats the thing, who told you your man was uses you for a visa, thats peoiples problem here on etj, you take every word written to heart just cause you are in the situation, who said anybody was specifically talking about you, no one person can tell you exactly what your man is doing--not even you, peopel are just saying would could and does happen and then there you all go running around with your heads cut off and nobody have even mentioned your name, why cause they reply to your paticular post?? doesn't mean they are speaking directly to you

and no one said that just cause you are involved with someone oversears that EVER SINGLE LAST ONE IS FOR VISA PURPOSES
there is so much talk about them and they good, why can't there be just as much forewarned about the bad??

and me personally, someoen could say that all black men are thugs and not good fathers on this site, that could be their persona oppionion from their experiences, I would comment and say not all, but i don;t feel the need to defend my husband because I KNOW he isn;t a thug and i KNOW he is a great father so there would be no need for me to heated about it

Very nicely put, RD.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

Thanks, Jomo - Unfortunately - point obviously missed.

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[quote=NYCgirl;480914]NYC, I answered your post and my computer froze and I guess it didn;t post and it was way too long for me to even care to type again, but i will sum it up

it has nothing to do with the fact they are dating a white woman that makes them undesireable-shoot I am black and could care less who a man dates, I just know alot of instances where we will see a black amn with a white woman and like I said he would not be someone I would date AT ALL

Sorry, I'm not understanding......you wouldn't date him.....why? Because of what? You really have not explained. No need to type a long story, just get to the point. The men you've seen with white women are.......particularly unnattractive to you? You can't possibly be generalizing that white women date ugly black men?