because your not getting to know them completely. your not getting to know them sexually - not the most important element but still a VERY important one. if sex is only for life long marriage relationships then how would anyone in this position 'know' whether they had crap sex or not. so it wont be an issue to those people.

however because im not a virgin i know what sex feels like with different people and i know it can vary hugely. therefore i WILL know if i make a connection with someone and the sex is disappointing. thats the way i have lived my life and i dont feel bad about it one bit. its 2008.

and how many who have saved sex for marriage only can say the same?
Im not knocking anyones choices. each to their own. there would have to be some good studies done on the above questions to get a true answer (not just different peoples opinions on this thread). after all none of our 'truths' are fact.

and std's and pregnancies are all avoidable with precautions - whether married or not.

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I been saving it up for marriage...yeah, that's it.

will you marry me quick cos i want sex

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I personally think you should try it out first. Compatibility for me is across the board.

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If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame...

to each their own i guess...

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ok miss. i'll go stand in the corner with my hands on my head.

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it is good to see anyone sticking to their beliefs, so long as they dont condemn the beliefs of others. even if you disagree with someone you have to respect thats what is important to them. like HS said each to their own. i just get kinda tired of being cast (in other threads too) as some morally inept person cos i like sex and dont need to be in love to enjoy it. it seems to be a hard concept for some people to equate being sexually liberated with also having morals and principles.

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I dont think anyone in the posts that I commented on were condeming you, i'm not sure where that comes from, what I do see is folk standing up for what they believe just like you do, the difference being they do not see your right to deffend what you believe as condemnation on them personally......I wonder why?

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or maybe they do but just prefer to respond in a less direct way than I do? just a thought. and as i said in my post - not just this thread. i guess im projecting my experience from real life onto here too. im happy to hold my hands up and say it has always bugged me when people have judged me - so yes it raises my hackles.

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We could all live our lives on maybes, and then criticise others for making assumptions. Guess you need to apply the post you just agreed with about true happiness, then what others may or may not be thinking about you, wont raise your hackles so much IMHO

Thats what I do and it works!

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good advice.

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Having sex with someone will not make you know them completely. In this life, you will NEVER know ANYONE completely. Only God knows any individual completely.

What happens in most cases is that people hook up, have sex, then get to know each other, and realize that they really don't like each other and things will not work out. Often times, the very fact that they got so intimate so quickly, without any assurances of permanency, fuels the disintegration of the relationship. People feel used, expectations not met, and things go sour.

It cannot be responsible to handle relationships like that. It doesn't work.

I think this is the crux of the matter right there. If you view relationships as a vehicle for fulfilling your own needs, then it is logical to do whatever it takes to ensure your needs are met ie. sample before committing. However, if you are not focused on yourself, and instead truly love the other person (remember, love is not selfish), then this kind of thinking wouldn't even be an issue.

When you love someone, you give your best to them. When they love you, they give their best to you. People in love with each other are patient and kind. They are supportive. Sex may start out akward, but they learn together and improve over time, because they care about fulfilling each others needs.

If you take the selfish road, then you will always be on shaky ground from day one.

Yes, it's 2008 when STDs are running rampant, there is unwanted, unplanned, badly supported childbirths due to irresponsible sexual behaviour, and there are tons of failed relationships and disappointed lonely people lamenting over their inability to hold onto true happiness in their relationships.

Yeah, it's 2008.

I can. There are others out there, though the numbers are decreasing. Saving sex for marriage is not popluar anymore, but there are still some who believe in that, and by doing so, they avoid many of the pitfalls which others run into, and their lives are better off for that.
Some things are just logical and plain common sense, but people in 2008 choose to justify moving away from these things, because it is not convenient, or uncool, or boring or whatever. Such is life. In the fullness of time, everyone will come to face Truth.

If you have sex, you are at risk of contracting an STD. If you are not monogamous, you are at greater risk of contracting an STD. If you have unprotected sex, you are at great risk of contracting an STD. If you are monogamous you are at less risk of contracting an STD than if you weren't.
If you are in a good faithful stable marriage in which both partners are remaining monogamous, and both partners have saved sex for marriage, then you have the lowest risk of contracting an STD among sexually active people.

Good old fashion Christian principles give you the blueprint to minimizing your risk of contracting STDs or having unwanted pregnancies. There's no other measure that is as effective as abstinence until marriage, and faithfulness within marriage. Condoms can, and do break. If you rely on measures like that alone, and don't act responsibly with your sexual behaviour, you are still at a high risk.

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"Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." - Matthew 5 v11 KJV

Very waggish indeed.