Missty, after reading and re-reading, I think you need more time before you make any decisions. Seriously, take one day at a time. If that day does not go well, don't call him for a while. And, if he calls, don't answer. I have found if things are not right and you sit back and think on them, you will know which way to go. I would not make any rash decisions during those times, especially if you have a really bad day. Maybe visit again and again. Until you feel comfortable with your decisions. Again, don't make any rash decisions if you are having these wonderful trips either. It is the happy medium of the good and bad time that makes a relationship.

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Life's just a crazy ride on a run away train
You can't go back for what you've missed
So make it count, hold on tight find a way to make it right
You only get one trip
So make it good, make it last 'cause it all flies by so fast
You only get one trip