Everything Jamaican

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy’s homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence ..* 1. Hotel – I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody. 2. Dictate – My girfriend say my dictate good. 3. Catacomb – I saw Don King at da fight the [...]

Big Bwoy was inna composition class an di teacher ask ‘im fi mek a sentence wid’ defence, defeat and detail’. Guess wha Big Bwoy say? ‘De dawg jump over de fence an de feet go before de tail’

One morning Big Bwoy did late fi school so ‘im ride ‘im father donkey, ‘Gee Gee’, go a school. Him did in such a hurry dat him nevah tie di donkey propaly. Well, guess wha happen? In di midst a spelling class, Gee Gee get loose. Big Bwoy frighten sotill wen him look out a [...]

Group of men waiting outside ‘new inventions’ meeting room before it starts. American, Englishman, and Jamaican. A bleeper noise is heard, and the american looks at his shoulder, presses it and looks at the other two and says ‘ its my bleeper’, The englishman raises the palm of his hand to his face and starts [...]

Only in Jamaica, citizens have to protect police from gunman. Only in Jamaica, you’ll have police cars parked at rum bars. Only in Jamaica, can people strike everyday just not to go to work. Only in Jamaica, gal fat up demself wid foul pill and bleach out dem skin wid toothpaste. Only in Jamaica, prisoners [...]

A Jamaican opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police(American)arrived at the scene, the Jamaican was complaining bitterly about thedamage to his precious BMW. “Awfissa, look wah dem do to mi Bimmah!”, he whined. “You Jamaicans are so materialistic and [...]

A Canadian Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the Guyanese driver that because he was wearing his seatbelt he had just won $5,000 in the Province safety competition. “What are you going to do with the money?” asked the policeman. “Well, I guin get a driver’s license,” he answered. “Oh, doh listen to [...]

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to Jamaica because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in New Kingston. The first day, he saw [...]